Little Bit of a Scare

So come Sunday night - right after the Super Bowl started, actually - we got a bit of a scare. I discovered some bleeding that definitely should not have been happening. We called the on-call doctor at Duke, but that didn't help much. The doctor was way, way too chipper. I explained that I was 13 weeks along as of that day, and she proceeded to tell me - so matter of fact-ly and in that chipper voice - that if there was any cramping along with the bleeding, this could be a sign of a miscarriage, even at this point. Not what I wanted to hear and definitely not what I wanted to hear from someone who sounded so happy when I am freaking out. So we wait to call my doctor the next morning.

We went in today (Tuesday) to have an ultrasound to check on the baby and to see what was going on. I was very relieved that they took it so seriously and did that because it was what I needed. I know that the odds are in my favor here, but it is still so hard to keep that in check. Ryan is so level-headed with things like this. We don't need to worry until we know there is something to worry about. And he can DO that! Me? No. Plus, I had placenta previa with Camden, which can increase your odds to have it with other pregnancies, so I was worried about that.

The ultrasound showed our baby doing just fine! Thank God!!! Part of my fears were somewhat confirmed when the dr showed that there was some hemorrhaging with the placenta, which happened to be close to where it would be to diagnose placenta previa. It basically has pulled away from the uterus a little bit, but not enough to be worried about yet. Enough to tell me to take it very easy for the next couple weeks, though. No nothing basically. (I know that's a double negative - I cringe even writing it. But you know what I mean.) The dr said that apparently the placenta doesn't like to stick in me - since I have a history of this. Nice to hear, huh? Then we also discover another likely cause for the bleeding. This is kind of personal, but there was a small polyp in there, too. (Not in the uterus.) The dr said it's nothing of concern - just some loose tissue, and some women just get them more than others. We also found out it really is not uncommon and is more likely to happen during pregnancy - probably due to all these tons of hormones running around in me. I never had one before, but she just twisted it off, and that was that. I'm told to expect a little more bleeding today, but that problem should be resolved.

So, we know that the bleeding was caused by one of those issues. But we also know that the baby is fine! I was pretty scared going into the appt, so seeing and hearing that heartbeat was such music to my ears and so wonderful to see! No pictures this time, but this wasn't exactly a fun visit anyway! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers that there are no serious issues resulting from the placenta pulling away more.

Since this happened on Sunday, I noticed a difference in how Ryan and I feel about this. He admits he was scared, but says that he wasn't worried. I'm thinking, How can you be scared but not worried?!?! But to him it made sense. We don't always get each other, I guess. Not that he is wrong in how he feels. I know he loves this baby. We both want this baby and love it so much. We didn't happen to get pregnant. It was no accident. We wanted a baby so much, and this baby was very planned. I already feel so connected and bonded with the baby. I've seen it move and do all sorts of things with an ultrasound (3 now...). I've felt tiny flutters. I have noticed every single tiny change in my body since just a couple days after conception. I am already very protective over my growing belly. I go to sleep every night with a hand over my abdomen. Maybe I can't feel it most of the time (I swear I can sometimes), but just having my hand there makes me feel connected to this little being. So when that was threatened - or in my mind it was threatened - it was very real and very scary to me, and I was quite worried. I don't take for granted that it's ok without having some proof. This is not just a baby in me. This is my baby. You other moms out there know what I mean. There is an incredible bond that is like no other.