Looking for God

I've realized that it's just not easy to notice God's blessings when you're going through something that completely rips your world to shreds. God's blessings are all around us, but sometimes you have to be ready to recognize them, or at least know to make yourself notice them.

Even though it's June and is, what, 100 degrees outside, Aiden asked me to read God Gave Us Christmas the other day. It's one of our favorite Christmas stories because it focuses on what we feel is the real meaning of Christmas - the birth of Jesus Christ. There is mention of Santa Claus, but the mama character in the story tries to take the focus off Santa without bashing the idea of him, and brings forward the focus of God and Jesus. When Little Cub wants to go out and find Santa, mama says Santa is hard to find..but God is easy to find; God is everywhere. So, they set off on an adventure to find God and learn how God gave us Christmas. He's part of the Northern Lights, a glacier falling into the sea, a bright star shining in the darkness, and many other things they see and experience on their trip.

After reading this, I felt the need to get outside and feel some sunshine on us. Aiden wasn't really in the mood to go outside (that kid is content to stay inside most of the time!), but when I suggested we go out and "find God" ourselves, he loved that idea. So, off we went. And we found God in many things...the wind blowing through our hair, the feel of the sun on our backs, the flowers (weeds) growing along the road. I found Him in my little boy that ran and giggled in front of me.

Yesterday, Aiden asked if we could go out and find God again. Off we went for a walk around the neighborhood. As soon as we felt a breeze on our faces, Aiden whispered, "Do you feel that, mama?"

"That's God."

That kid really makes me smile.

So, this week I've learned that amidst all this difficulty and sadness and confusion going on around us, we have to stop and intentionally notice God's blessings. They're there. I've found God in several things this week... My littlest child laughing, his cuddles as we read bedtime stories. My husband, cooking yet another dinner (he has done all of the cooking since my HG kicked in a month ago) or running out to pick up something my stomach could tolerate when I couldn't eat dinner. My oldest son stopping to give me a big hug out of nowhere. The garbage man telling me I have a beautiful smile. My youngest asking to go find God and telling me where he feels Him.

Last night, I crawled into bed and felt a little person snuggle into me. Aiden has been sleeping in our bed since I got pregnant. He doesn't know I'm pregnant, but he did notice how things changed when I got sick. Sadly, he got less attention from me because I just wasn't able to do some of the things I usually do with him. I think he felt the need to be closer to me and therefore found his way back into our bed. As soon as I climb in, even though he's already asleep, he pushes his body against mine and sleeps close to me all night. Last night, he did the same, and as I lay there in the dark, I felt his soft breathing against my arm. I just let myself lie there and enjoy feeling his breath, and I felt as if I could almost hear him say, "Do you feel that, mama? That's God."

Six months of hell. And counting.

Lots of folks are wondering what has been going on with us lately. We've been waiting and hoping to share some good news, but it seems like we're going to have to wait a bit longer for that. So, we'll just come on and tell it without the good.

We've been trying to grow our family. And while we're apparently pretty fertile, we're not having luck with staying pregnant, for some reason. I have now had three miscarriages. All in the last six months. One in January. Another in early April, over Easter weekend. We are currently pregnant, and the second ultrasound that took place on Friday, showed the baby no longer has a beating heart and stopped growing probably a couple weeks ago. A missed miscarriage - the baby has died but my body hasn't figured it out yet, still acts like I'm pregnant. I believe at this point I can say, without being dramatic, that this has been the worst year of my life. Throw in most emotional, as well.

I had high hopes for 2012, but so far, it has not been good to us.

As you can imagine, we are crushed. broken. confused. defeated. worn down. These babies were so, so very wanted. There are tons of emotions going through us. I dealt with a lot of anger with the first miscarriage. Several days and nights were spent with me screaming at God, cursing at Him, throwing things at him (all in my mind)... I know He can handle all the anger I can throw at Him, and I needed to be able to go through that. Mostly now we're sad and confused and trying to sort through all other kinds of emotions and thoughts running through us.

We're also trying to make decisions about what is our next step in regards to miscarrying the baby (naturally or surgically); we're leaning toward allowing my body to try to do this naturally before relying on surgery. Meanwhile, I am still dealing with relentless nausea and taking medication for that. I have hyperemesis gravidarum, which means I have extreme nausea and vomiting during pregnancies. This time around, it has been "mild," meaning I have mostly had the extreme, nonstop nausea which has been handled mostly by medication, though I'm still very restricted on what I'm able to stomach. We've worried that the mild HG might be an indication that this pregnancy would not last, but after the first ultrasound showing a heartbeat, we were more hopeful and considered me lucky with less severe symptoms this time. Regardless, it seems like some cruel joke that I've had to deal with these symptoms for a month now and will continue to have them until after the miscarriage has finished and my hcg levels return to zero, however long that will take, assuming we do it naturally. How unfair to have these symptoms when nothing is even coming from them.

As much as I hate to admit it, I kind of tried not to get as attached to this baby. But...how do you even do that?? It's nearly impossible. Ok, it is impossible - for me, at least. Lately I decided to give up on that and instead think positively and tell that little one to hang in there. I guess it doesn't really matter, and things will happen the way they're going to happen regardless. I've tried from the start of this pregnancy (which we found out about at less than three weeks along, so very early on) to prepare myself to lose another baby, but again, how do you do that? Nothing at all prepares you to lie there and see the screen with the ultrasound images, knowing the baby is supposed to have developed more, hearing nothing but silence. Until the ultrasound tech says it out loud and shows where the heartbeat should be seen. Nothing prepares you for that.

We have been fortunate to have wonderful friends and family supporting us through all of this over the last several months. The doctors office we have chosen has been incredible, as well. We chose the office specifically for its VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) reputation. Last year, we chose to put off having this baby for a year until we could change insurance to be able to see the doctors at that office. We love them for their views on VBACs and natural birth methods, but they have also been amazing in helping us deal with the first two miscarriages, preparing for HG and dealing with it during this pregnancy, and now are helping immensely as we figure out how to handle this next miscarriage. I've been so pleased with their friendly approach and just reaching out to me. Some have hugged me when they knew I was scared, some remembered me from blood work after the first miscarriage (when we returned for more blood work during this third pregnancy, months later), I have been reassured they are there to support me and answer any questions, however small or silly I might consider them to be. I have just felt so welcomed and supported there, which means more than I can say. We'll be seeing them more soon, of course, as we now meet the requirements for "recurrent miscarriage" and all the testing that goes along with trying to find out why suddenly I can't seem to stay pregnant. I've never had problems like this before, and we feel we are at our healthiest right now, so we're more than confused as to why this is happening now. Hopefully we can find some answers, though we know those odds aren't really in our favor. Most of the time, the cause is unknown.

Why post about something so personal, you might be wondering... I don't feel like this is something that should be taboo to talk about, for one thing. So many women have miscarriages, and despite how common it really is, it is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. It is emotionally and physically painful. Nobody should have to deal with it at all, but especially no one should go through it alone. While many of our friends do know about this, so many do not. And we're at the point where it will be harder and more exhausting to act as if things are great when we're around people who don't know than it would be just to say it is happening. I have a hard time putting up a facade and pretending things are ok when my world is falling apart. When we share what we're living through, we also are allowing others to pray for us and help us through this. This is not something we want to go through alone, and we don't wish to cut ourselves off from others who can help. Even though several friends and family do know about what we've been going through over the last 6 months, it's still been very easy to feel lonely. In fact, it's been a really lonely time for me, despite the support we have had. I can't imagine going through this with no support and how isolated one could easily feel. I've realized, since we shared the news of our first miscarriage with others close to us, that opening up about it helps others to open up about what they have been through or are even currently experiencing. I can't help but think maybe if more of us speak out about these things, someone else might feel comfortable reaching out and might feel less alone in their own pain from similar experiences.

In case you're wondering about the boys... Camden does know about this. He's too old to hide it from, and he's known about everything from the beginning. I don't think he quite knows how to feel about the losses, and he is very confused about why it keeps happening. He's at a good age, I guess, where he can understand logically what is going on and knows we're upset, but he isn't quite at the point where it truly upsets him a lot (and that's fine with us; we don't want him to be too upset about this). Aiden, however, is too young to get it, we believe. We haven't told him about the losses or the latest pregnancy, even though he knew I was sick. He was there when we had the ultrasound on Friday, and he had to witness me breaking down with the news about the baby. Thankfully, he has just accepted hearing that "mommy is sad" when he sees me crying, and he doesn't really question it. He's asked about the doctor and what they've said to me, but he has been ok with answers such as "mommy is ok" or that the doctor will help make me feel better. I feel bad not being completely honest with him, but we really don't think he would understand what is going on at his age. And honestly, maybe a part of this is that we're not sure how to deal with talking to a very young child about this. (Any others that have dealt with something like this are welcome to chime in with their thoughts.) 

So, here we are... We're not sure what the next few weeks will be like for us. I still have this baby in me that is not growing. Hopefully things can happen naturally, as we feel that is best and safest in many ways. But if we need to go through with it, we also have a D and C as a last resort. Either way, there will be pain. Lots of pain and lots of different kinds of pain. And then testing. And waiting for healing before we can move forward with trying again. I'm now realizing how naive I have always been about pregnancy. While I've always been in awe of how amazing it is, I'm now acutely aware of how difficult it truly is for all the million things that need to fall into place just right in order for a healthy baby to grow inside of my body. I have faith that we will have a successful pregnancy and have this next baby one day. We're not ready to give up. Our family is not yet complete. I don't understand at all why things are happening this way (trust me, I ask "why?" at least every five seconds), but I hope that one day I will be able to make more sense of it all.

Back in the game. Post-Holiday return!

So, I guess it's time to get back into things here on the blog, huh? I've taken enough time "off," I suppose! I know a lot of folks post a bunch around Christmas, but we have had such an incredibly busy winter with Christmas prep (including making our yearly photo book, which I always put off and then need about a month to make it just in time), lots of sinus infections, Christmas travel (and I'm not going to blog while visiting family out of state - it's my time to just be with family and that's all), and Ryan working LOTS of overtime. During the first half of January, Camden is also tracked out of school, so we've been busy doing things while he is home this month, as well. Lots of good things (some not so fun things) going on lately. BUT it's time to get back into it here...

We did have a great Christmas, even if it was more rushed and full of allergies than we would have liked.

Before we even went anywhere, though, we had stuff to do at home...

Teacher gifts! Camden's in middle school now, so he has a LOT of teachers (and we have to add in some extras, of course, such as all of the librarians because he is always there and has gotten to know them pretty well). We made some hot cocoa mix, made snowmen marshmallows, and put it all together in a mason jar. Camden wrote a personal letter to each teacher to add in with the card. I hope they all liked their gift!! I know some people don't give gifts once the kids are in middle school. I just can't stop, though. These teachers work so hard every day, working with classrooms full of kids. And middle schoolers! Those cannot be easy some days! ;) I wish I could give so much more than a cute mason jar with hot cocoa!! They deserve so much more.

We also gave one to the mailman. We waited for him one afternoon (to make sure it was our regular guy, too!), and then ran out when he was approaching our house. Aiden ran, holding the jar (with me behind hoping he did not drop it!), yelling "Merry Christmas!!" And let me tell you, that mailman was grinning and taken by surprise and said to us, "You all just made my day." And that most certainly made mine!

Photo coasters I made for the grandparents. They all got a few of the same, and then they each got some others that we picked out specifically for them. That's a lot of coasters, you say? Well, there are four sets of grandparents (and we also made a few for Camden's biological father and his family). Each set of grandparents got six coasters, so...yeah, that's a lot of coasters!

 

Aiden with his very own (felt) Christmas tree that we made together one afternoon. And an apple. And cheesy grin. :)

We went to KY and WV for Christmas to be with all of our parents (there are four sets, so divide that up between 10 days, and it can get pretty busy!). Our first full day in KY, we visited with my great grandmother, who turned 92 in January. I had to hold back tears during the whole visit and afterward... Seeing her and just talking and hanging out really made me miss being back closer to all of my extended family. Made me miss "home."

 Does she not look absolutely amazing at 92 years old?! 

(I hope this runs in the family...)

Family stop #1 - My dad, stepmom, and sister

 My sister and my son... We took this because they accidentally matched. I love it because I never realized how much they look alike! It's kind of crazy, and I'm not sure how I didn't see it before!

Cousins. Two of my brother's kids hanging out with mine. They even make the same goofy faces...

 

 Aiden checking out the gifts I made for all the grandparents. 

This is my mom and stepdad. Christmas morning.

 Friends. BEST Friends. I'm lucky to have these folks in my life. 

More people to make me miss "home."

These little guys almost have no choice but to be best friends. 

Good thing they don't seem to mind!

They spent two entire evenings just running around the house together. 

Such a joy to see!

 Ryan's mom opening her homemade grandparent gift.

 And his dad and stepmom, too. 

(Note to self, taking a break from pictures to 

enjoy the moments means you come home with less pictures, wishing you took more.)

Getting ready to leave for home. We kept trying to get some good family shots. This one is great because it shows...neither child looking at the camera and both looking kind of silly, mama has some super swollen eyes thanks to allergies, and daddy is the only half-normal looking one here (and he's looking pretty good!).

We had a blast, got to see a lot of folks not pictured, and just enjoyed being with family for the holidays. Part of it was sad for me because, for the second year in a row, we had to miss extended family gatherings on my mom's and dad's sides of the family. (I have a huge family. Christmas is the only time I get to see much of them, since we live in another state. Unfortunately, Christmas gatherings with all of them happened when we weren't able to be there due to school schedules, etc. That was a bit tough.) It was nice getting home, though. Aiden got homesick while we were traveling, and after a couple nights kept saying he wanted to be back home in his own bed. Who knows, maybe one day we won't have to travel so much to see our family...

Now on to the new year! I've got lots of posts to get on here soon!! There are some awesome giveaways in the works already. Always lots going on. Just wish there was lots more time, right?! ;)

My little baby is THREE

And this happened three months ago. I'm just getting around to posting about it. Mom of the year over here, folks! Or maybe I could just say I've been so busy being a great mom I had no time to write a blog post about his birthday. Hmm... ;)

We decided last Christmas what Aiden's birthday theme would be. And then crossed our fingers and hoped he would like it by the time August rolled around! We found some super-fabulous deals on Thomas the Train collections (thanks to my friend over at Western Wake Wallet Savers - great site for you local folks to check out!). Aiden's Christmas was already taken care of, so we got a bunch of train sets to put aside for his birthday.

Happy Birthday, Camden!

 Camden turned 12 on June 28th...

My big, beautiful baby boy. This was taken by a family member while I was still in recovery, before even I got to hold him.

Just for fun... That's where that 11lb baby boy was hiding!

12 years ago, my biggest dream was made reality. I became a mother. The two of us have been through so very much together. My life would not be what it is today without him. Every single day, I am thankful that God trusted me to care for this little guy that is all too quickly becoming a young man.

He's always had those big, beautiful eyes...

My precious baby, who hasn't been a baby for quite a while now.

Here are pics from his birthday party. Lucky kid had a party that lasted nearly two days...

Camden's Birthday

We had a cookout Friday night, where he invited his three closest friends and their families. Boys were invited for a sleepover, and then we swam all day Saturday. It was a lot of fun! One of my favorite parts was when Camden opened his gift from me and Ryan. We couldn't give him the actual gift because it's a destination and won't take place until September, so we gave him a note with the information. After quickly reading it, his response was, "I don't get it..." It took him a few minutes, but he figured it out and was very, very excited.

Camden and Ryan are going to a Packer's game in September!

My baby boy today, at his birthday party.

It blows my mind how quickly children grow up.

Dirt and sweat and sunshine

"I think kids should be kids and childhood should be filled with ... you know that smell, when your kids come in and they smell like dirt and sweat and sunshine? That's what I hope for my kids." ~ Julia Roberts

Aiden. Dirty feet. From playing outside. Barefoot. LOVE.
(Photo taken August 2011.)

I read that a few years ago, and it stuck with me because that's how I feel. Kids should smell like that because they should be out playing in the dirt and sunshine, getting sweaty, being kids. Doesn't dirt, sunshine, and sweat equal happiness??

The other day Aiden had been out playing for a while. We came in, and I took him upstairs to change his diaper. Normally shoes come off the second you come in the house (there are some things outside that shoes pick up that I do not want on my carpet, where my children play while inside - seriously), but I had carried him in and up the stairs, so he still had on his crocs when I put him on the changing table. When I took them off, there were all these little bits of grass and dirt on his feet. I just love that. Now, when he takes off his crocs and has stuff like that on his feet, he gets all "get it off!" (I think he gets this from his Daddy...) and takes time to pick each and every tiny piece off. It is cute and funny to watch him. That child doesn't like to get dirty. But as I was taking off his crocs and saw his dirty little feet, cute as they could be, I couldn't help but think of the quote above and smile.

I'm not that parent who doesn't want their children to go out and get dirty. Yes, play in the sand. Yes, sit on the chalk drawing you just drew (and get chalk on your clothes). Yes, help with the gardening and make more of a mess than is necessary (or I would make doing it all myself), getting dirt all over the sidewalk, yourself, and probably me, too. Yes, PLAY. If a little dirt gets dragged in the house when you come in (but please do remember to take off your shoes at the door!), we can sweep it up. If water droplets come in, as well, we have towels.

Now, if you're sweaty...while I might think kids should run around, play hard, and get sweaty...that doesn't mean I want you to come in and hug all over me, sharing said sweat. No thanks. (I kind of think it's gross to get it *on* me. I can hear Ryan laughing at me already. Apparently I think everything is gross, while he thinks none of it is. Of course, I also don't mind the messes that come with kids and outdoor activities, while he wants things a bit - or a lot - cleaner. Some of that kind of seems backward, doesn't it? Haha!) And I don't want you leaving your soccer socks on the stairs after you just came home from a game and they are filthy - it's not that hard to take them up the steps with you (you were going anyway!) and put them in the laundry basket, right?

I do love seeing those little toddler feet with sand and dirt and grass on them. I love seeing my too-close-to-being-a-teenage boy come in with red cheeks and sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, soccer ball under his arm, asking for his water bottle. It makes me happy. It reminds me that they're kids...being kids.

One more reason...

Some days I'm reminded why I love my husband so much. Some days it just hits me out of nowhere that, man, God really knew what he was doing when he put us together. Not that I think He ever doesn't know what He's doing, but...you know what I mean.

The other day I was hit out of the blue with that thought. I was cooking dinner; Ryan wasn't even home. It wasn't about a specific thing he had done, just the fact that we see eye-to-eye on so many things and that we work so well together. It's so nice when that happens.

And then the other night, Ryan gave me a good reminder himself.

See, Aiden's night terrors calmed down a bit after Christmas. We've been really strict with his schedule and such, and he's been doing much better. But for the last week and a half, it's been pretty much nightly. Not sure why all of the sudden, but there it is. Anyway, many nights over the last couple weeks, after he has an episode or if he wakes coughing or for whatever reason, we've brought him to bed with us. It makes it easier if it continues to happen (on us, too - we don't have to get up again!). So, a couple nights after he's actually woken up, he's said, "Mama's bed..." The other night he even did it in his sleep!

One night, while Aiden was still in his crib and Ryan and I were getting ready for bed, I asked how he felt about Aiden coming into our bed more often lately. He said, "Let him." Really? "Yeah. One day he won't want to do it. And we'll miss it."

(Feel free to pause for an "awwww" moment.)

I'm tearing up now just remembering it. It was definitely one of those moments where I was more than reminded of how much I love this man. I love the kind of father he is. I love how his heart works. And I love that we see so many things similarly. It makes life so much easier.

I know many people who don't agree with bed-sharing with their kids (and I know many people that do!). This post isn't about bed-sharing/co-sleeping, etc. Totally not. Let's not make it about that. This post is about my incredible husband and those little reminders that we work together so well. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe he is the only man I could have married and been happy with... But I am so very thankful that God lined things up for me and Ryan to meet and that we chose each other.

Four Years and Counting

Today is our anniversary - four years. I know people say this ALL the time, but Ryan and I even both acknowledged that it feels like we just got married...yet at the same time, it feels like we've been together forever. It goes by quickly, but you easily get to where you are so comfortable with each other and your lives together.

This last year has been a tough one for us. Not for our relationship, necessarily. (So nobody start worrying! Haha!) It's just been a tough year in general. We've had less sleep (less than during Aiden's first year, if you can believe that!) and are learning how so little sleep can affect just about every other facet in our lives, more financial stress, and just all kinds of other things going on to cause stress and make life busier. We've had to learn how to connect and rely on each other in different ways. We've had to learn how to balance things we didn't before. Just all kinds of things have made this year more difficult than others. It's part of life and being a family. Nobody's complaining (though an easy year this go-round wouldn't be so terrible). ;)

We're big Michael Buble fans, and, like just about everyone else, I'm sure, it seems like there is always one love song on each of his cds that we feel is one of "our" songs. You know what I mean. On his "Call Me Irresponsible" cd, I'm pretty sure it's "Everything" for most folks, and on his newest cd, it's probably "Crazy Love" (which I especially love because it's in one of my favorite older movies - She's Having a Baby, but I'm getting off track). BUT there is another song from his Crazy Love cd that really speaks to me and makes me think more about me and Ryan, especially after this past year. I think some people that know us, especially those that have known as before getting married and shortly after, think that we're this perfect couple, always so polite with each other and respectful, and that we're "lucky." I don't buy being lucky. We are what we make ourselves to be. It's not about luck, it's about choices we make every single day. If you rely on luck, you will only get so far...and not very far, at that. So many things we have talked or planned have turned out differently than we expected. But through it all, we're still holding on. And neither of us are going to let go. :) We are a strong couple not because we got lucky but because of how we handle things together and how we treat one another.

And yes, we're still crazy in love with each other.

Hold On

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones?
I guess that we were once
Babe, we were once

But luck will leave you cause
It is a faithless friend
And in the end when life has got you down
You've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around

So hold on to me tight
Hold on to me tonight
We are stronger here together
Than we could ever be alone
So hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart
But it's no one's fault
No it's not my fault

Maybe all the plans we made would not work out
But I have no doubt even though it's hard to see
I've got faith in us and I believe in you and me

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause it's you and me together
And baby all we've got is time
So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight

There's so many dreams that we have given up
Take a look at all we've got
And with this kind of love
What we've got here is enough

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Then we could ever be alone
Just hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright
Hold on to me tonight
They always say we were the lucky ones


Sorry if it's not showing up right. I even clicked to use the smallest sized video, and it's just not posting right.... Sorry 'bout that! It's just the lyrics and sound anyway. ;)

Basically, if I were to say a certain line applied to us or that I would say it just like it is in the song...well, it's just the ENTIRE thing. All of it is exactly what I would say. (Thanks, Micheal. You summed it up pretty well!)

I love you, babe. I love that we're stronger together than apart. I love that even though some plans don't work out the way we first thought, that what we have is enough and is right for us in the end. I love that we're always there for each other. I love that others might look at our relationship and think we are lucky...but that we know it's more than that, which means it will remain. I love that you support me fully in every single way possible. I love that you give your all to me without me having to ask, even when it means giving more than you have. (And I love that you want to give me even more than that.) I love the husband that you are to me, the father you are to my children. I love every little thing about you. (Well, most things.) ;) And I love that even when we are going through difficult times, we know we will be holding on to one another through it all, no matter what.

What We're Missing

So, tonight I had a nice dinner (breakfast for dinner) planned. Camden helped when we made the menu this week, and one request was breakfast one night. I thought I would try a new pancake recipe that looked good and healthy all at once. I also had to use an egg replacer, of course. Now that I think about it, I really haven't done much of that lately... I tried a gluten-free, egg-free pancake once, and it turned out to be pretty awful, but we mostly blamed that on the flours used in the mix. Anyway...this turned out to be a flop.

Out to dinner we went. It was already late, and we could have gotten something quick, but I felt bad and wanted to give Camden his breakfast for dinner, so...we went to IHOP about 15 or so minutes away, which meant it took at least a half an hour because we had to deal with diaper changes and packing some food in case there was nothing Aiden could/would eat, etc. Dinner was fine, but while there, I got a bit of a reminder of what we are missing being where we are...

Right next to our table sat a huge family, three tables pushed together to fit them (basically I was facing them...looking down the entire length of the tables). There were three generations - but more than just grandparents, parents, and kids...some aunts/uncles/cousins perhaps, too. I couldn't help but keep looking over at them. I noticed some of the older kids (teenagers) joking around a lot with the grandparents, and it really stuck out how close they must have been to be talking and laughing the way they were.

I'm not typically one to get "home-sick"...but man, it sure made me wish we were with our families back in KY and WV. It made me think, we could have that. We could live near our families and be able to go out to eat with them on a weeknight and laugh and carry on like that. It would be nice to see our families so much that it wasn't considered a special occasion. I guess it did make me a bit home-sick. And there we were, our little family of four, quietly eating our dinner.

And might I just add, on a sweeter note....our little Aiden is such a blessing when eating out! We've had a couple times lately where he wasn't his normal self when out (b/c of teething or being overtired when traveling), and while he wasn't terrible and probably nobody else thought he was bad at all, it was quite stressful for us. But he was back to his angelic self tonight. I never take that for granted and am always amazed at how well-behaved he is when eating out! Thank you, baby boy! At one point, I couldn't help but thinking (and I might just have said it out loud) that he was behaving better than the ten-year-old...

Back from Vacation...AGAIN.

Yes, we've already taken vacation #2... Do I recommend taking two vacations with two children (one under two years old) within two weeks, both multiple states away?? Hmmmm...not so much. But the dates couldn't be helped, and we had a blast on both trips. The driving has definitely worn on us, we have been reminded why it is a pretty good idea to drive through the night, and we are for sure beyond exhausted. BUT a good time was had by all. And we are happy to be staying put for a while now.

This trip was to KY to meet up with some of Ryan's college buddies, one of which he hadn't seen since our wedding back in 2006! When Ryan planned the trip, he made reservations for a cabin in a state park....which just so happened (totally coincidental!) to be at a park that I have visited many, many times for family get-togethers...because it just so happens to be less than 15 miles from much of my family on my dad's side. How perfect! The guys could have their guy-time, and I could spend a couple days visiting family that I normally only see for a couple hours at Christmas.

Well, things didn't quite go that way (do they ever?), but it was still nice.

My great-grandmother's older brother passed away over the weekend, so the get-together my grandmother had planned for us all had to be canceled (understandably). We did spend one afternoon with my dad, step-mom, sister, and my older brother and his two kids. We even made it to dinner at Hometown...home of the best white chicken pizza ever! And the next day, my brother and kids even made it back to spend some time at the pool with us. While there, my grandmother and great-grandmother came to the lodge for lunch, so I did manage to see them for a bit, which was a great treat!

While on the trip, Ryan also had another reaction to medicine he had finished taking a week before... If you remember, he had a bad reaction while in Florida, keeping us out of the sun for much of the trip. (He finished the medicine on Saturday, mowed the lawn Wednesday evening, and the reaction appeared the first day of our trip...a little worse in some areas this time. He has been told this is not a typical reaction, so this definitely will go on his list of "never take again.") So, that kept him from playing golf and enjoying the pool. But I feel confident in saying that he and the other guys still thoroughly enjoyed their time together.

The little guys had a blast, too. Aiden napped...once the whole trip (last day, after a great deal of time at the pool - poor guy was exhausted and just couldn't fight it any longer!), but the cabin was small and not conducive to napping really - and he was relatively well-behaved for a child waking before 6am and not napping. Both boys just loved playing around with the other guys on the trip, Tom and Darryl. Neither Tom's girlfriend or Darryl's wife were able to come as originally planned (but after seeing the cabin, I can't help but wonder...would there have been room? It was much smaller than expected.) Overall, the trip was a great success - at least for what it was intended, and that's what matters most. :)

Our drive home took 17 hours instead of 9, and we drove in the daytime b/c we needed to make a few stops on the way home...but we got to see some loved ones (even if for very short visits that nicely included food! Thanks, guys!!), and we made it back safely. And just in time for Camden's end-of-grade testing that started the next day. (Seriously...what school schedules EOGs right after a holiday/long weekend?? And how does that make sense?)

Here are some pics from the trip. And yes...they really did wear those.

2010 May, KY Trip to see the guys!

PS - If you know Darryl, you'll notice he's changed a bit. Congrats to him on the weight loss. :) Lookin' great, D!

Back from Vacation... Kind of.

Meaning it was kind of a vacation, not that we're kind of back...though I guess that could be true in a sense, as well. ;)

One of my closest friends just got married. In Florida. We've been friends longer than...well, any other friend I've had. We're those friends that were always inseparable up through high school and have been through a lot together, and even though we don't talk as regularly these days, when we do, it's like we just pick up where we left off. He still lives in KY, but they got married on the beach in FL, and there wasn't a question as to whether or not we would be there. We even pulled Camden out of school to go. I don't think he would have forgiven me if he hadn't gone. Mark is Camden's godfather, and Camden just has this connection with him. He looks up to Mark so much and thinks the world of him. (Me, too. His friendship means the world to me.) :)

So, anyway...off we went. And while we were at it, we figured we would take a few days to enjoy the beach.

The trip altogether actually wasn't the best "vacation" we've had. We drove through the night to get there, as it was 12 hours of driving not including stops. It took us 15 hours going there... We woke the boys to leave around 10:30pm Tuesday evening, and Aiden thought it was time to wake up and play once in the car, so he was up for another hour. We couldn't help but laugh, thinking it would be our luck that he would just stay awake, but he did eventually go to sleep. Then he woke at 2am throwing up all over the place...and thought he had to stay up for another hour to play once we finally had things cleaned up enough to get back on the road. I didn't sleep much in the car when Ryan drove, which is pretty typical for me. Once we arrived Wednesday afternoon, we realized that the memory card for the good camera was still at home in the computer. I was ready to freak out, but Ryan went and bought a new one after I explained that no, we couldn't just not take pictures. Hello...it was Mark's wedding! (Him buying a new one worked for me, since he's the one that told me he had gotten all of the camera things together...) Then when changing Aiden's diaper right after we arrived, that little kiddo kicked my hand just the right way and caused me to spill some melted coconut oil ALL over the place, including his body and my jeans (good thing that stuff isn't like regular oil and washes right out!). We found out the water was out in the room after unpacking EVERYthing, but luckily it was only for a couple of hours, so we didn't need to switch rooms. After a day and a half, we realized Ryan was having a bad reaction to being out in the sun...and finally put together it was because he was still on antibiotics and shouldn't have mixed the two. This meant he couldn't be in direct sunlight, so...some things weren't as fun for him (or the rest of us at times). I had a cold and woke up every morning with a sore throat that sometimes went away but most days didn't. We discovered that a restaurant with a sign claiming it is "Kid friendly" does not mean they have changing tables and other restaurants make all of their pasta and pizza dough with eggs, meaning you may just have to walk out if your child is allergic b/c there is nothing for him to eat.

It seemed like our whole vacation was full of little things like this. But we still managed to have fun and enjoy the trip. We saw dolphins the first morning we were at the beach (at 8am since they are an hour behind, meaning Aiden woke up at 4:30am Destin-time!). We also saw rays swimming around Camden the next day... Those things were everywhere. The weather was wonderful, though a bit too hot the last couple days, and there was no rain. (It always seems to rain when we go to the beach.) Aiden was so well-behaved when eating out. That's normal, but we ate out a lot, so we were very impressed. (I think we need to detox now, as well. All that eating out...ugh.) The kids both were great in general, really. We hit the breakfast buffet at the hotel as soon as it opened every day, and the lady working just loved Aiden and would bring him (& Camden) oranges...which he LOVES. It was nice to be met with a friendly face each morning. We also got to have lunch with Mark & Kelly the day before their wedding. And I saw some friends at the wedding that I haven't seen in years!

And the most important part of the trip, the whole reason we were there...the wedding. It was beautiful, of course! It really was. It was more than we expected for a beach wedding, and we had a lot of fun, even if we spent a lot of the night chasing after Aiden, who was RUNNING everywhere he could. You could see how happy the newlyweds were and couldn't help grinning for them all night long.

We left last night at 9:30 our time (8:30 beach-time) and arrived home about 14 hours later... The trip home wasn't as involved as the trip there. No kids throwing up or trying to play all night long. Aiden did have one hour where he really struggled with sleeping, but we were in an area with a lot of stop lights instead of the interstate. Other than that, the kids slept really well. Ryan and I struggled sleeping when it was our turn, but we managed and made it home all in one piece. As much as driving through the night might not be the most pleasant for us, it certainly has its benefits, and we'll be doing it more often, I'm sure! Our road trips aren't usually too short, and this really helped Aiden deal with being in the car for such long periods.

Of course, I took a bunch of pictures on the trip. I tend to go everywhere with a camera, but I only uploaded a fraction of what I took. You can see the most post-worthy here:

2010 Destin, FL Beach Trip - Mark & Kelly's Wedding

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the moms and moms-to-be out there: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I'm so appreciative of all of my mommy friends... I love that I know so many other moms that are there to show support and encouragement, to offer words of wisdom and advice, to accept the different ways we parent and learn from one another, to be there to listen when we need to vent and to simply offer an ear and a bit of understanding without judgment, and all the other wonderful things we are able to bring to our friendships. Being a mother is such an adventure, and it's so nice to be able to share it with other moms.

My children...words cannot express what becoming a mother has done for me and to me. I always felt I was born to be a mother. Whether I'm all that great at the job is hard for me to say, but the love I have for my children is overwhelming in a way that only other mothers could ever understand. Even on the most frustrating days, being a mother is still the most rewarding experience. That's all I'm going to say now, as I'm already tearing up...

One of my favorite pics of me and my mom - at my cousin's wedding in 2003.

And an especially Happy Mother's Day to my own mom, who has been the most amazing blessing in my life. She is absolutely incredible in my eyes. Nobody is stronger, more beautiful, and just simply more amazing than she is. I love you, Mom.

Playing Catch Up...

Yeah, it's been a while. We have good excuses. Don't we always??

After Aiden got that nasty stomach bug, he passed it onto me. How would I not get it when he threw up all over me about 20 times? All over meaning sometimes...it went into my shirt. You wanted that visual didn't you? He had it worse the one day, but he continued to throw up at least once each day for the next few days. It took a while for him to recover and go back to eating normally, probably for fear he would keep throwing it all back up. Poor guy. :(

Then it was Easter and we had family in for that next week. Ryan's mom came to visit, which is always fun. Aiden had a blast with her especially and would ask for her when he was supposed to be going to sleep or doing other things he might not have wanted to be doing. I think he knew she might rescue him... ;) When she left for home, she took Camden, who is now visiting with his dad for the week. And since, Aiden and I have been running like crazy doing all the things we couldn't do while sick or entertaining company. So, we've been a tad busy.

Easter... We went back to our "home" church, where the service was actually held at an amphitheater in town instead of the actual church. (Another post for another time, but we've been back and forth about what church to attend, as we have moved farther away from our old church, and for other reasons. But we keep finding ourselves drawn back to it... More later. I hope. If I get time. For the many posts I keep wanting to put up...) Anyway, the service was HUGE, and it was incredible to see so many there celebrating together. I haven't heard the final count, but there were thousands. Back home, Aiden got a new Bible and a puzzle with animals. He adores both. He carries his Bible everywhere he can, saying "Bi-bi" and "Jeeees" (Bible and Jesus). Camden got some new books, too, one being his first daily devotional, and a t-shirt. We try to keep the Easter baskets full of things that represent what the holiday means to us. True...the puzzle might not seem to fit...but there were animals on the Arc, right? ;) And wait...no mention of candy?? Yep. No candy this year. Nobody noticed, either. Camden didn't ask or seem to care or even realize it was missing. He also got the new Toby Mac cd from MaMaw, and he was too thrilled about that to care for candy anyway, even if there had been some!

We have eaten out a couple times over the last week. (Eating out isn't a common occurrence for various reasons. Money. Food allergies....) We discovered that P.F. Chang's has an awesome gluten-free menu. And after ordering but before being served, we also discovered that all of their meats are marinated with eggs the night before, meaning Aiden couldn't have anything with meat, meaning that the only thing on the g-free menu he could eat was veggie stir-fry. He did not seem to care and loved it! Another discovery...their chocolate cake is probably THE best chocolate cake ever. Then last night we went to The Melting Pot for my birthday (well, mine and Ryan's, since we're just a week apart). Don't tell Camden!! He might not be so happy to find out we went without him... They also have a ton of gluten-free options and have a good menu telling you what you cannot eat. Only one meat has egg in the marinade, but it wasn't even one they had with the Big Night Out this time around. We had to make few substitutions so that Aiden could eat...leaving out the pot-stickers and getting extra chicken. And we almost forgot there was beer as a base with the Fiesta Cheese (the one we almost always get), so we just subbed with white wine, and it was fine. No chips or bread for the little guy, only two of the sauces (one of which he just loved with everything)...and for dessert he was stuck with fruit. But he was just fine with all of that. He ate fairly well!! And I'm very pleased that more places are getting on board with gluten-free menus and are actually aware of what all it involves!

Aiden turned 20-months-old. I'll get to that post next. Soon, I hope.

And today...today I turn 30. Most of all, it's just another day. It's not such a big deal that I am the big 3-0...but it just sounds strange to say I'm that age. It's like I am officially an "adult" now, even though I've been an adult for quite a while. I mean, I do have a husband, two children (one of which is about to turn 11!), a house, etc, etc, etc... But for some reason, being 30 seems to make it official. Not sure if that makes any sense.

Last night, after getting Aiden to bed, Ryan and I turned on Friends. We have the entire series on DVD and watch it every now and then. We start from the beginning and watch through to the end. And then do it all over again. So, last night, the next show for us to watch just happened to be "The one where they all turn 30." No kidding. Pretty funny, in a way. Some of them were talking about what they had or hadn't accomplished by this time. In a way, I've accomplished a heck of a lot. A bachelor's degree, a master's degree, I'm married, I have two kids...that's a lot. But I do feel that there is a ton that I haven't accomplished. I still don't have a career or know what I want to be "when I grow up." And here I suddenly am "grown up." I often go through the day just getting through the day...running errands, taking care of the kids, making dinner...and sometimes wonder what I'm not doing that I should. Is there something more profound I should be doing, too? Thanks Friends, right. (No, I wonder this all the time. With or without Friends to throw it in my face.)

Aiden has made the day so nice and easy...waking at 5am and refusing to go back to sleep. Taking over two hours, with plenty of yelling at me, before he would finally go to sleep for naptime. And the day is not over!! What more should I expect, right? He doesn't know it's mommy's birthday! ;) And now I'm going to go outside and do some yard work. BUT tonight...there will be cake. After our yummy and very filling (too filling) meal last night, we made a stop by P.F. Chang's and grabbed some of that chocolate cake to eat tonight. I'm still deciding if I'm going to share....

PS - Pics of everything in the April album online:

2010 April

Well, the weekend got off to a good START...

Friday went pretty well...

First, Aiden had an appointment with a new dermatologist, who was absolutely great with him. She played with him for the longest time and looked over him, kneeling on the floor so he could continue to play with his cars the whole time. We've been dealing with some bad eczema flare-ups for a while now, and he's got a bit of a yeast/fungal infection, as well. And we're concerned about an infection from him scratching the eczema every chance he gets...which is more often since he is sitting on the potty some now. He uses that as an opportunity to scratch, even if we're there to stop him (you can't catch it all the time!). So, we left with FOUR prescriptions, one promising to be rather expensive. Well, actually, she gave us enough samples for one of them, so that helps. The expensive one is a prescription lotion, and the pharmacy had to order that, so we'll get it Monday. Some of his spots are already looking worlds better.

Then there was a soc hop at Camden's school. Lots of fun. He even joined in on some dances with his friends. Apparently they learn some of the line dances in gym (as in the cool ones...). They had a big raffle event, as well. Tons of HUGE baskets filled with things based on themes. AND Camden won one! We put tickets into a bunch, some that he wanted, some that would be nice for all of us. Of course, he didn't win the one any of us REALLY wanted, but it's always exciting to win! It was a basket of school supplies...we now have enough crayons, glue, paper, pencils, erasers, etc to last for QUITE a while, plus plenty more items, some pretty nice! He was actually pretty pleased, and, get this - it's the basket from HIS class!

We ended the night by putting Aiden to bed and watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution with Camden. If you haven't seen this show...you so need to! It actually takes place in the city Ryan grew up and where his family still lives. There's a lot of focus on school lunches. Camden no longer eats school lunches, but we still think he can learn a lot from watching about them. Great show. We're hoping it helps to lead to some big changes in the school lunch program. Click here to see more about the Food Revolution. And while you're at it, sign the petition to get some healthier lunches in our schools! (Whether or not you have a child in school... It should be that important.)

So, the weekend got off to a pretty good start... Then Saturday happened. I think, and I'm totally serious, that this was the worst day of poor Aiden's little life. He woke up early throwing up. And he never really stopped. He never had a fever, which is odd, I think. He couldn't keep anything down, though. We talked to the on-call dr around 10:30 Saturday morning, and he said not to give Aiden anything to eat or drink for the next 4-5 hours to let his stomach settle. The kid was begging to have water or nurse. I did break down and nurse him before his nap because he just would not accept going to sleep without that, and he hadn't thrown up for two hours by then - the longest stretch he had all day at that point. He took a good nap, but as soon as I had him out of the crib, he threw up again.

He threw up at least 20 times during the day, if not more; we lost count after a while. He was literally begging to have water to drink or to nurse all day long, and it's been breaking our hearts not to give him anything. I know it's what he needs, but I feel like we're starving him! He had a couple sips of water earlier in the day and threw it up. Ryan got some electrolyte mix to give him (like Pedialyte but without any sugar or anything artificial - it actually tastes really good!! We got the kids version at Whole Foods, though it's only showing the main version on the website, which is supposed to be fine for kids, too)...even just having a teaspoon of that resulted in him throwing up. With so little in his belly, he was dry heaving pretty much all day. I've experienced a lot of dry heaving during my pregnancies, and I think it is one of the worst feelings ever. He was at the point where he couldn't breathe when he was trying to throw up and you could tell it really hurt him...and scared him. It scared us plenty, and we weren't the ones doing it! Aiden has had some stomach bugs before, but he usually only throws up a couple times and then just doesn't feel good the rest of the day. He's never had anything this extreme. Luckily, he's not been showing signs of dehydration, but we've been watching closely because of how much he's throwing up. He was pretty lethargic most of the day...getting up to play for a few minutes here and there earlier on but then getting worn out easily, and spending most of the day just lying in my arms and asking me to sing to him.

The night wasn't great but not as bad as we were anticipating, maybe it felt that way because we were prepared for the worst. He got sick regularly after going to sleep, until about 1 or so. He actually had asked to go to bed, so you know he was tired! He went down without nursing...but he still woke up regularly for a few hours to throw up, until about 1am or so. Each time he got up and got sick, he would then reach for his crib and say "bed," because he just wanted to go back to sleep. (He was incredibly pitiful.) After that, he slept until 4, woke up without getting sick, and then slept again until almost 6. Since he had went so long without getting sick and was really insistent on nursing, we let him. He threw it up about 30 minutes later. We noticed this morning he has some red spots under his bottom lip and on his chin, probably from the acid from throwing up so much.

BUT...he hasn't thrown up since. Yet, at least. In the morning, we let him have a few pieces of dry cereal here and there, along with a teaspoon or so of the electrolyte drink. By 10, he was begging to nurse, and since he had kept the other down so far, we let him nurse, but just a little. He was pretty mad about that but still took a nap. Woke up after an hour, was up for a little while, insisting again on nursing. He must be feeling a bit better because he's getting really mad when we tell him no about nursing or tell him he has to wait. Yesterday, he would keep asking but not throw a fit. He didn't have the energy! So, I just nursed him some more, and he's actually back in bed about to go to sleep again. We were going to speak with the on-call doctor more today if he kept throwing up, but he hasn't gotten sick since 6:30, and it's almost noon at this point. That's pretty big for him, so hopefully he's on the mend!

I realize this might not seem that big of a deal...a stomach bug and all. But it has been for him and for the rest of us. He's not at the point where he can understand he can't eat or drink because he'll get sick from it. Having to see him beg for water or milk and having to tell him no has been so difficult for us. Seeing him throw up in the way he has, seeing how painful it is for him and how scary...it's been painful and scary for us. We've been really worried about dehydration or needing to go to the emergency room, but thankfully it did not come to that point. We're all exhausted, and Aiden still isn't feeling well, but he does seem a bit better than yesterday. And he's certainly not throwing up as much, which we're thrilled about. But we're still taking it very, very easy and slow with the liquids and a bit of dry cereal.

Hopefully he's fine by tomorrow! Camden is out of school for a while, and we're hoping to be able to get some things done and be able to get outside and play soon. And hopefully nobody else catches whatever it is he has. I'm not sure where this came from, but...every stomach bug he has ever had has come one day after being in some doctor's office. I don't think that's a coincidence. Even our regular doctor's waiting room doesn't have toys for the kids (which we are thankful for!), but Aiden still walks all around, touching the chairs and trying to share his toys with just about anybody sitting down in the room. The office we were at Friday did have a play table, and even though he was there for maybe two minutes (and shared his toy with two different men sitting and waiting), it's really impossible to keep him from playing and interacting with others. We can take all the toys in the world and try to distract him, but there's no way with him. We can wash his hands as soon as we get into the exam room. But he still seems to constantly get sick after going to the doctor...

Home again, home again

...jiggety jig.

We're back home from having Christmas in Kentucky. It was a very hectic time, but, as always, it was worth it. It might not have been so hectic if we had those three days that were spent waiting in NC instead of relaxing in KY... Yeah, that big snowstorm that came through VA and WV kept us home three days longer than planned. Our route goes right through where snow made for some really bad snow conditions, especially through the WV Turnpike, which was closed the day we were supposed to be on the road. Some people were stranded for 26 hours... I'm glad we made the decision to be stranded at home and wait it out. So, instead of leaving on Saturday, me and the kiddos left the house Tuesday morning. Ryan had to stay back to work and fly in Wednesday evening. I was nervous about the long drive by myself because Aiden really is not a great car-rider, especially on those long trips. But someone must have been hearing my prayers because the trip went way better than expected. That little boy who never sleeps more than an hour on these trips (that can take over 12 hours....) slept for a full (exactly) THREE HOURS right in the middle of the drive. Wow. Camden and I kept things silent for fear of waking the little guy up. We managed to stop in WV to have lunch with Ryan's dad and then again in KY to drop some luggage off at my mom's before driving another couple hours to my dad's. We weren't sure if we would make it to his house or not (that's where we were supposed to stay during the time we were stuck at home), but we made such good time that we managed...Aiden started to get cranky shortly before arriving. We left the house at 7:30am and arrived at our final destination at 7:30pm. But we made it, at least!

During our five days of visiting (not including the two days of travel), we managed to be in five different cities and see all of our family and some of our friends (but not all we had hoped to see). I told you it was hectic! The boys got plenty of gifts, as did we. It seemed to be the year of books for me and Ryan. We both came home with a ton (that we had asked for, of course). Now...we just need to find the time to read them all!! ;) We also enjoyed seeing the grandparents open their gifts. Among other things, they all received copies of a photobook of Aiden's first year and some pottery item that the kids made for them (either with handprints or thumbprints included, of course). But mostly, it was just wonderful to be with everyone. It's also the only time I get to see my extended family, since we live so far away. While some might say they would just as well stay at home rather than be so rushed and drive so much (most places we visited were about two-hour drives), I wouldn't do it any other way. Family is too important, so we make the trip...and look forward to living closer and being able to relax a bit during the holidays one day. Driving all over Kentucky, I was also reminded of how beautiful that state is. I kept wanting to stop the car to take pictures... All of the fields with cows grazing, the horse farms, the sunsets we got to see, everything. Beautiful.

Here are our pictures from all the Christmas celebrations (and some other events that happened to take place in December). I didn't take as many as I normally do, and somehow I missed pictures of some of the people we saw (sorry about that!). You'll notice Camden is missing from quite a few. He WAS with us for Christmas, but everywhere we went...he quickly disappeared to play outside or in another room with other kids. Aiden's always stuck with us, so there is no shortage of pictures of him. It was a lot of fun with him this year, especially because he really figured out the whole gift-opening concept. Hopefully next time we travel, he'll also figure out that he doesn't need to wake up at 4am every morning...

Now...next year...we are definitely getting started earlier. I'm putting it on my calendar. We still have yet to get the boys' tree ornaments (!!!I feel so terrible!!!), a tradition we have where they each get an ornament every year, symbolizing something that was important from that year. We have one picked out finally for Aiden on etsy (it should not be so hard to find a star ornament...), and we had one to get for Camden, but Hallmark sold out long before we knew about it. Christmas totally snuck up on us this year! We barely got our family photo album ordered in time... Camden's Christmas pjs had to be shipped to Mammaw's house, so he didn't get them until we were there (just in time to wear them on Christmas Eve, at least). Cards barely made it out in time. And we were just behind on so much. Next year, right? Seriously, it's going on the calendar in August or something. Once I get around to getting the new calendar out and writing in it...

Ok, enough talk. Here are the pics.

2009 December

I hope everyone else had a very, very Merry Christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

This Thanksgiving we stayed at home - our very first one with just the four of us. Camden was only out of school for Thursday and Friday, and the traveling just wasn't justified...two days on the road and two days visiting didn't make sense. So, we stayed at home. It was nice, though we did miss being with our families. It's normally a time where we visit and see people we see rarely, which is one reason I like Thanksgiving so much. We had a Thanksgiving lunch with all the traditional foods and just hung out all day, taking it easy. Nothing dramatic or fancy. It was an easy-going day, and Ryan and I even topped it off with a glass of wine before bed. I haven't had a sip since Thanksgiving 2007. That's what pregnancy and a very frequent nurser will do to you. ;) Since we started working with Aiden's sleeping, he is now consistently sleeping from 8pm until around 2 or 3 without nursing (meaning he does wake around midnight very briefly but goes right back to sleep). I hope to post soon about the sleep training. We're very excited about it.

Yesterday we were going to put up the Christmas decorations (no Black Friday shopping for us; no thank you!), but we realized that we finally had to give up our old tree and trade it in for a new one. I have a strict no-Christmas-until-after-Thanksgiving rule, so none of that happens until the day after. I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's the one holiday where it's all about being with the people you love for that one reason. No commercialism, no expectations with gifts... I like to give Thanksgiving the attention it deserves.

But now we're busy getting in the Christmas spirit! Ryan is getting ready to go pick up the new tree, boxes of decorations are all over the living room, Christmas music is blasting, and we're all together at home. We even have some company for the weekend. MaMaw came down to help out today... Ryan and I are going out together for our first date since Aiden was born. It will be Aiden's first time being away from both of us at the same time; his first time with a sitter. And of course, not just any sitter would do! ;) For our date, Ryan is going all out, and we're going to see The Phantom of the Opera. I haven't been in years, and Ryan has never seen it (the movie does not count - it compares in no way). I'm not sure if he purposefully got tickets to something that I would not be able to resist or get refunded at the last minute (haha!), but his plan is certainly working because we will be walking out the door without a baby shortly before 1 this afternoon. We did get afternoon tickets because Aiden still has to nurse before bedtime; hopefully if he misses an afternoon nursing, he won't be upset, but we weren't going to chance the bedtime nursing. I'll let you know how it goes! I am a bit nervous, I'll admit it, but I'm also really excited to be going to see the opera and doing something adult with my husband. :) I think Aiden knows something is up, though. As well as he has been sleeping lately, he was up almost hourly last night. Hmm...

I'm falling way behind on my posts lately, and I have a bunch that I am intending to get up...one of these days. We've been sick with colds lately, for one thing. Aiden got a nasty cold while we were visiting family not long ago. He was well for, I'm not kidding, two days when he caught another cold! This one was courtesy of big brother, bringing germs home from school, I suppose. He has a hard time taking seriously warnings such as "stay out of Aiden's face," "don't touch his food!" (hello?!), etc, etc. I think seeing how quickly Aiden got sick and how bad this cold was helped. And then I caught it, of course. When Aiden is sick, he tends to sleep as close to me as possible...as in, he hugs my neck and puts his nose and mouth right up next to mine! How could I NOT get sick?! But it's impossible to stay away because having me so close helps him, which is too important to me, especially when it helps him get to sleep...and we both need that badly! I'm currently trying to keep it from turning into a sinus infection...not sure how successful I am quite yet. It's questionable.

And we recently had a death in the family. My grandmother (my stepdad's mother), Grandma Strode, just passed away last weekend. We knew it was going to be soon, but it was sooner than expected. We're currently in Kentucky. We made it in time to go to the funeral. Ever notice how that is such a good way to see extended family that you haven't seen in a while. Sad circumstances, yes. But it's always great that everyone shows up (which is how it should be) and comes together to be there. We got to meet a couple new family members - my step-brother's new baby boy, Loxley, and my step-sister's even newer baby girl, Ella. Plus, we didn't make it to Christmas at with my step-dad's family last year because we needed to be with Ryan's grandmother who was in the hospital and close to passing away, so it was nice to see everyone and let them meet Mr. Aiden. Aiden and Grandma Strode had actually been able to meet. We stopped and visited this summer when we were coming to Kentucky. We wanted to spend some time with Grandma while we had the chance - and we really wanted her and Aiden to meet. I'm so glad we made that happen! You can't wait on that kind of stuff because you don't always have "next time."

Aiden trying to share a toy with Grandma Strode

So, we came to Kentucky for the funeral and to be with family, but we're also staying for Halloween since we're already here and Ryan won't miss any extra work because of it. He already had to take off through Friday for all the traveling - a full day on the road each way - so we figured why not stay and relax a bit instead of rushing back. I'm taking advantage and trying to rest up a little to get well. I don't really feel like sleeping until 10am counts as "sleeping in" if I don't get to sleep until 1 or 2am because I am sick and then am up every hour or two with a sick or hungry baby.

And we're not really getting to relax too much with the boys underfoot. Aiden, who remembered he could manuever steps last time we visited family, has decided he can now go down all on his own, too. So he tries to practice that as much as he can. I think he's more comfortable practicing at both my mom's and Ryan's mom's because they each have some areas that just have one or two steps separating rooms. That means we have to stay right with him, esp when every now and then he sits down to slide down the step...and he's not quite in the right position. He gets it right most of the time, but...

So, we'll get back into our regular routine sometime. Surely. We've also been having some naptime struggles with Aiden, and I'm really hoping to kick into gear and get him back on track - or on some kind of track! - once we get back home and things calm down. I think all the traveling and all the colds this past month haven't helped with things. And sometimes he needs one nap a day and sometimes two... It's been fairly frustrating and time-consuming. We'll figure something out. Hopefully. (And hopefully soon!)

Anyway, that's the story with us lately. A very busy time, and blogging has just had to take a backseat, whether I wanted it to or not.