Some days I'm reminded why I love my husband so much. Some days it just hits me out of nowhere that, man, God really knew what he was doing when he put us together. Not that I think He ever doesn't know what He's doing, but...you know what I mean.
The other day I was hit out of the blue with that thought. I was cooking dinner; Ryan wasn't even home. It wasn't about a specific thing he had done, just the fact that we see eye-to-eye on so many things and that we work so well together. It's so nice when that happens.
And then the other night, Ryan gave me a good reminder himself.
See, Aiden's night terrors calmed down a bit after Christmas. We've been really strict with his schedule and such, and he's been doing much better. But for the last week and a half, it's been pretty much nightly. Not sure why all of the sudden, but there it is. Anyway, many nights over the last couple weeks, after he has an episode or if he wakes coughing or for whatever reason, we've brought him to bed with us. It makes it easier if it continues to happen (on us, too - we don't have to get up again!). So, a couple nights after he's actually woken up, he's said, "Mama's bed..." The other night he even did it in his sleep!
One night, while Aiden was still in his crib and Ryan and I were getting ready for bed, I asked how he felt about Aiden coming into our bed more often lately. He said, "Let him." Really? "Yeah. One day he won't want to do it. And we'll miss it."
(Feel free to pause for an "awwww" moment.)
I'm tearing up now just remembering it. It was definitely one of those moments where I was more than reminded of how much I love this man. I love the kind of father he is. I love how his heart works. And I love that we see so many things similarly. It makes life so much easier.
I know many people who don't agree with bed-sharing with their kids (and I know many people that do!). This post isn't about bed-sharing/co-sleeping, etc. Totally not. Let's not make it about that. This post is about my incredible husband and those little reminders that we work together so well. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe he is the only man I could have married and been happy with... But I am so very thankful that God lined things up for me and Ryan to meet and that we chose each other.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
VBACs, Migraines, and other fun stuff
So, yesterday wasn't the most fun day ever. Could have been worse, I'm sure, but I'm certainly glad it wasn't. It started off with a small headache and just got worse from there... This post isn't just to gripe, though. It's about something I'm hoping to experience and to explain what a blessing my family is. My boys, all three of them, are incredible. :)
I had a dr appt in the morning, which means driving far from home because all of our doctors are at least three or four cities away...driving is often an hour or so, each way. Fun. I went in for a follow-up. Things were fine, but the doctor mentioned at one point (about a cyst on my ovary that wasn't changing any) that when we got pregnant again, I could just have the doctor take a look at it during the c-section. She knows I've had two and so it's assumed any more with also be sections. Well, that was a good segue into a topic that I wasn't really planning on bring up right then but would come up eventually, so I went on and brought it up... VBACs. (For anyone that doesn't know, VBAC means Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).
The problem is, not only have I had one section...but two. The first was absolutely necessary. While baby fat might squish, baby heads can only get so much smaller and no more. Camden had a very large head. After a very intense and painful labor and a few hours of pushing, an emergency c-section was necessary because his head literally would not fit through. Aiden's section...was planned. (And my what a difference between an emergency and planned! Wow.) They heard how big Camden was (11lbs - what's the big deal?) and said no way to a VBAC. At that time, we were not sure which way to go, and so we went along with what they said. Now that I know more, I wish we hadn't. But we did. What's done is done. Aiden wasn't nearly as big as expected. He still came in at 8lbs 11oz, but that's no 11-pounder. And not a big head. The big head comes from Camden's dad, so there's obviously no concern about that from this point on. The weight comes from my side, but I'm not concerned about that, either - remember, it squishes. The head was the problem.
While many places will attempt a VBAC after one section, depending on the reason for the surgery, it's harder to find people that will go for a VBA2C. My dr said they did attempt VBACs (after 1) but she didn't think they did them after 2, and on the way out, she ran into another dr in the practice who said, nope, they don't. I walked out feeling really defeated. Really. Some people will say, what's the big deal? There are risks to having VBACs. Well, yes, but there are more risks to having multiple c-sections. I want to at least have those risks weighed, look at all pros and cons of either possibilities, see what not only affects me now but also when it comes to possibly having more children, etc, etc. I might go into this more (the reasons, risks, etc) in another post at another time. But it's important to me to be given the opportunity if it is possible. There are a number of reasons. And having that option taken away...well, like I said, I felt very defeated.
On the way home, headache was getting worse. It started out a headache, now it's getting to migraine status. Quickly. We haven't decided why yet, but I've been getting them a lot lately (as in over the last six months or more - took me a while to realize they were migraines, and they've continued to get worse lately).
Then Aiden falls asleep on the way home. This is not good. Sometimes he'll go to his bed after falling asleep; sometimes not. If you saw the post on his night terrors, you know why his nap is important. Now I'm regretting having the appt so close to lunchtime, but there really wasn't a choice. And...of course, he doesn't nap once home. We tried. Really tried.
By then, my migraine was getting really bad. It soon reached the point where it might very well be the worst I have ever had. By the time Camden gets home from school, I'm lying on the couch, pretty much not able to function. He was the sweetest thing ever, trying to take care of me. He offered me something to eat about every five seconds, which was a tiny bit annoying...but I'll take that over ignoring me. It really was sweet, though, and he was so caring. I love being reminded of what a great kid he is. Aiden, who can't stand anyone to lie down (or pretend they're sleeping), finally got the hint that mom didn't feel well and showed a bit of sweetness, too. At one point, he was climbing to sit next to me, and he bumped my head really hard with his - right where my head was throbbing. I covered my face so he wouldn't see me crying about it (man, it hurt!), but he did notice after a while. He patted my face softly and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry." (Sniff! Sweet child.) When Ryan called to say he was on his way home (you know mama is sick if she asks him to come home...and without even hinting about it first, too!), Camden took the call. I lifted my head up to hear something over speaker-phone, and Aiden gently tried to push my head back down and said, "No, go to sleep." Seriously, how sweet are my kids?! This is totally unlike Aiden, so he must really have understood I wasn't feeling well. It did take a while...first he kept shoving toys in my face and trying to play on top of me or tell me to get up. But still.
Ryan got home around 5:00 or so, and I went up to bed. Thank God I have an awesome husband that is willing (and able) to come home a little early and just take over with everything. I didn't get to sleep until 10pm or later, but it still was nice to lie in bed, in the dark. Aiden came up for his bedtime to nurse, and then he just stayed there and slept next to me. Since he didn't nap, we were worried about a bad night, and I didn't want to have to get up in the middle of the night. He actually did fairly well. A couple times he moaned some and kicked his legs around, tossed and turned some. I was worried it would get worse, but it really didn't. Maybe he should just start out in bed with us more often...
Anyway, it was a rough day. Worst headache ever. I even had nausea with this one, and I never have that. Woke up with a tiny bit of a headache this morning, but it was the kind I can ignore and still go on about my day. That's good because it was my turn to host a playdate, and I really didn't want to cancel! So, we were able to have friends over and have a great time. Aiden is now napping right on schedule. Today is a much better day.
Now, back to the VBAC issue... I love our ob/gyn office. I really do. And so I was very disappointed to have my bubble burst before leaving. But later the dr emailed me saying that some folks over AT Duke *would* consider letting me labor and try for a natural delivery (no induction, though, which is fine with me). The practice I see is affiliated with Duke but not located in the hospital. This other group is associated with the high risk ob dept, I believe. So, hopefully we can soon set up a prepregnancy appointment and see if they can do a risk-analysis and see what they say. (Um, don't assume this means much of anything. We are not pregnant right now. We're big on planning ahead. And this is not something you want to discuss and plan AFTER getting pregnant...) I'm not betting yet that this means I definitely will get to try for a natural delivery, but I'm hopeful that it might mean I have a chance. I know other things could get in the way, too, such as a chance of placenta previa (which I dealt with during both previous pregnancies), etc. Hopefully none of that will be a concern, but you never know. We'll just have to wait and see what they think after hearing my history, etc. Not sure how soon that will happen, but I'll update.
I had a dr appt in the morning, which means driving far from home because all of our doctors are at least three or four cities away...driving is often an hour or so, each way. Fun. I went in for a follow-up. Things were fine, but the doctor mentioned at one point (about a cyst on my ovary that wasn't changing any) that when we got pregnant again, I could just have the doctor take a look at it during the c-section. She knows I've had two and so it's assumed any more with also be sections. Well, that was a good segue into a topic that I wasn't really planning on bring up right then but would come up eventually, so I went on and brought it up... VBACs. (For anyone that doesn't know, VBAC means Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).
The problem is, not only have I had one section...but two. The first was absolutely necessary. While baby fat might squish, baby heads can only get so much smaller and no more. Camden had a very large head. After a very intense and painful labor and a few hours of pushing, an emergency c-section was necessary because his head literally would not fit through. Aiden's section...was planned. (And my what a difference between an emergency and planned! Wow.) They heard how big Camden was (11lbs - what's the big deal?) and said no way to a VBAC. At that time, we were not sure which way to go, and so we went along with what they said. Now that I know more, I wish we hadn't. But we did. What's done is done. Aiden wasn't nearly as big as expected. He still came in at 8lbs 11oz, but that's no 11-pounder. And not a big head. The big head comes from Camden's dad, so there's obviously no concern about that from this point on. The weight comes from my side, but I'm not concerned about that, either - remember, it squishes. The head was the problem.
While many places will attempt a VBAC after one section, depending on the reason for the surgery, it's harder to find people that will go for a VBA2C. My dr said they did attempt VBACs (after 1) but she didn't think they did them after 2, and on the way out, she ran into another dr in the practice who said, nope, they don't. I walked out feeling really defeated. Really. Some people will say, what's the big deal? There are risks to having VBACs. Well, yes, but there are more risks to having multiple c-sections. I want to at least have those risks weighed, look at all pros and cons of either possibilities, see what not only affects me now but also when it comes to possibly having more children, etc, etc. I might go into this more (the reasons, risks, etc) in another post at another time. But it's important to me to be given the opportunity if it is possible. There are a number of reasons. And having that option taken away...well, like I said, I felt very defeated.
On the way home, headache was getting worse. It started out a headache, now it's getting to migraine status. Quickly. We haven't decided why yet, but I've been getting them a lot lately (as in over the last six months or more - took me a while to realize they were migraines, and they've continued to get worse lately).
Then Aiden falls asleep on the way home. This is not good. Sometimes he'll go to his bed after falling asleep; sometimes not. If you saw the post on his night terrors, you know why his nap is important. Now I'm regretting having the appt so close to lunchtime, but there really wasn't a choice. And...of course, he doesn't nap once home. We tried. Really tried.
By then, my migraine was getting really bad. It soon reached the point where it might very well be the worst I have ever had. By the time Camden gets home from school, I'm lying on the couch, pretty much not able to function. He was the sweetest thing ever, trying to take care of me. He offered me something to eat about every five seconds, which was a tiny bit annoying...but I'll take that over ignoring me. It really was sweet, though, and he was so caring. I love being reminded of what a great kid he is. Aiden, who can't stand anyone to lie down (or pretend they're sleeping), finally got the hint that mom didn't feel well and showed a bit of sweetness, too. At one point, he was climbing to sit next to me, and he bumped my head really hard with his - right where my head was throbbing. I covered my face so he wouldn't see me crying about it (man, it hurt!), but he did notice after a while. He patted my face softly and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry." (Sniff! Sweet child.) When Ryan called to say he was on his way home (you know mama is sick if she asks him to come home...and without even hinting about it first, too!), Camden took the call. I lifted my head up to hear something over speaker-phone, and Aiden gently tried to push my head back down and said, "No, go to sleep." Seriously, how sweet are my kids?! This is totally unlike Aiden, so he must really have understood I wasn't feeling well. It did take a while...first he kept shoving toys in my face and trying to play on top of me or tell me to get up. But still.
Ryan got home around 5:00 or so, and I went up to bed. Thank God I have an awesome husband that is willing (and able) to come home a little early and just take over with everything. I didn't get to sleep until 10pm or later, but it still was nice to lie in bed, in the dark. Aiden came up for his bedtime to nurse, and then he just stayed there and slept next to me. Since he didn't nap, we were worried about a bad night, and I didn't want to have to get up in the middle of the night. He actually did fairly well. A couple times he moaned some and kicked his legs around, tossed and turned some. I was worried it would get worse, but it really didn't. Maybe he should just start out in bed with us more often...
Anyway, it was a rough day. Worst headache ever. I even had nausea with this one, and I never have that. Woke up with a tiny bit of a headache this morning, but it was the kind I can ignore and still go on about my day. That's good because it was my turn to host a playdate, and I really didn't want to cancel! So, we were able to have friends over and have a great time. Aiden is now napping right on schedule. Today is a much better day.
Now, back to the VBAC issue... I love our ob/gyn office. I really do. And so I was very disappointed to have my bubble burst before leaving. But later the dr emailed me saying that some folks over AT Duke *would* consider letting me labor and try for a natural delivery (no induction, though, which is fine with me). The practice I see is affiliated with Duke but not located in the hospital. This other group is associated with the high risk ob dept, I believe. So, hopefully we can soon set up a prepregnancy appointment and see if they can do a risk-analysis and see what they say. (Um, don't assume this means much of anything. We are not pregnant right now. We're big on planning ahead. And this is not something you want to discuss and plan AFTER getting pregnant...) I'm not betting yet that this means I definitely will get to try for a natural delivery, but I'm hopeful that it might mean I have a chance. I know other things could get in the way, too, such as a chance of placenta previa (which I dealt with during both previous pregnancies), etc. Hopefully none of that will be a concern, but you never know. We'll just have to wait and see what they think after hearing my history, etc. Not sure how soon that will happen, but I'll update.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Night Terrors
So, for the longest time, Aiden has been having "dreams" at night that can wake him up. Except they seemed really scary. And we realized he wasn't really waking up. Sometimes he would cry out a little bit and then stop. Sometimes he would scream. And sometimes he would scream, thrash around, and be completely inconsolable. We would try to calm him, but it was no good. If we picked him up and reassured him, he could flip out. If he snapped out of it and woke up...well, there was no real "snapping out of it," but he would seem absolutely terrified. Even nursing didn't seem to really do much, and that's like the one single thing that *always* works. Holding him, he would seem to be unaware we had him but would fight to get free, thrashing his body all around. We would struggle with him, trying so hard to calm our little guy, and then after so long, he would stop and it would be like nothing ever happened. He would suddenly be sleeping peacefully, like nothing ever happened, but leaving us scared and wondering what was going on.
Welcome to the world of night terrors, folks.
This has been happening for months, but we only realized around Christmas that they were, in fact, night terrors. I had suspected, but we finally were sure. We did a little internet research to learn a bit more about what was going on. Of course, it's hard to know for sure what's going on, but we have a good idea.
The thing is...night terrors are, well, pretty terrifying. I'm not sure exactly how scary they are for the child, since they don't remember them, and therefore, can't tell you about it. Then there's the fact that he's only two and can't really communicate all that well, especially with a concept as complicated as "dreaming." When Aiden has an episode, he often is literally trying to climb out of the place (crib, pack 'n play, wherever he is sleeping). If he's lying down, he'll have his legs straight up in the air, kicking the crib as hard as he can...like he's trying to get away from something or kick something away from him. He'll sometimes get on his hands and knees, as if he's trying to crawl away, or hit and push the pillow, like it's something that's after him. He will scream and scream as if he is scared. This isn't an "I want attention" sound...this is a "something is trying to really hurt me, and I am SCARED out of my mind" cry. His eyes might be closed, partially open, or all the way open, but he is totally out of it and not at all aware that we are nearby. He sometimes sounds like he's trying to actually yell something, but we can't usually tell what he's trying to say. And if all of that isn't bad enough...if he somehow does wake up, he gets even more intense and seems completely terrified and confused.
As a parent, seeing this...I don't know how to explain it other than scary. Who wants to see their child like this?? And who enjoys not being able to help their child? And then...to top that off...you aren't supposed to help! After learning more, we know that helping, trying to hold him, speaking to him at all - well, it just makes it worse! Now really, how awesome is that? It is pretty near impossible to just stand there and watch him go through all of this. While you do, you can't help but feel like parent of the year. Like...yeah, my child is obviously scared to death here, but I'm just going to stand back and enjoy the show. How 'bout some popcorn? Seriously. We've even read (can't remember where now - we've done a ton of searches by now) that when you talk to him or try to soothe the child, the sound of your voice can be incorporated into the terror and scare him even more. Not a fun thought. But knowing that even talking to him to try to soothe him really just scares him more helps to NOT talk to him.
It's still hard, though. Feeling helpless is one of my least favorite things to experience as a parent. And one of the most difficult. During each episode, I have to fight back the tears as I watch him and just stand there. I hate it. Really hate it.
Here are a couple things we've learned about night terrors....
Family history of sleep problems make them more likely. There's definitely a history. Mama has had insomnia, oh, pretty much her entire life. I'm not kidding. And Daddy...he has restless leg syndrome. So, that counts, right? Family history? Check.
Being overtired makes it more likely and worse. That's true. Now, we know Aiden's never been world's greatest sleeper. But he's not a terrible sleeper, either! He's always slept fairly well...but woke fairly often. Since we realized it actually IS an allergy causing the problem (I have always claimed I thought something else was going on - and Mama was right!) and we've taken measures to help with the allergen, Aiden has been a *wonderful* sleeper! He still is up early, but it's usually at 6 now, instead of 5. And he's napping between 2-3 hours each day. The night terrors have been occurring fairly regularly, but if he misses a nap...oh you can betcha he will have some awful night terrors that night! Maybe even repeatedly. We really realized this over Christmas when there were a couple days he missed naps b/c he was too excited or we had too much planned. Those nights, we all paid for it. Over and over. When we stick to his nap and bedtime schedule...strictly stick to it...things are so much better. Since Christmas he actually stopped his night terrors. Until this past week, that is. Not sure what has changed, but he's been having them all week. And then a couple weeks ago...the one day he refused to nap because mama got him home a bit late after a playdate (I think I need to set an alarm next time!) - that was not a fun night. So, yes....lack of sleep? Definitely makes things worse.
Night terrors aren't in and of themselves a problem, but they can lead to problems, since they disrupt sleep. Um, yeah. It's one of those cyclical things that aren't so much fun. Fatigue/sleep deprivation make night terrors worse. Night terrors disrupt sleep, causing more fatigue/sleep deprivation. These things also cause a grumpy toddler who needs to nap earlier than usual...but an early nap might mean he is later even more sleep deprived, blah, blah. Good times. (You certainly can sense the sarcasm there.)
Stress and anxiety can correlate with night terrors. Now, it's hard for me to know sometimes if there is anything stressing Aiden out. Most times I am pretty sure that's not an issue, BUT sometimes the little bit of playtime between dinner and bedtime isn't all that relaxing. Enter big brother, who is trying to play with Aiden...that usually means Camden is trying to be physical (hugging or wrestling or whatever) and Aiden is trying to avoid it (because he seriously is NOT a cuddly person) or gets too excited about it. Or they're having a blast chasing each other, which means Aiden really is not calming down but quite the opposite. I'm not sure if any of these have correlated with night terrors, but since realizing this is what was happening at night (the night terrors), we've made sure the time between dinner and bed does not include activity like this. Not that he didn't have a calm bedtime routine before, but we've extended it and have made sure Camden understands why it's so important for Aiden to remain calm. That time between dinner and bed is now a time when we ALL sit down, read or something like that as a family while Aiden nurses. It's as calm as we can make it. Not sure if it helps, but it certainly makes sense. And we all prefer to be doing this together anyway. It's good for everyone.
Night terrors and sleep walking can occur together. We don't know yet, and hopefully by the time Aiden would be able to sleep walk, he'll be past these. He's still in the crib, so he can't really go anywhere. That's good because we know he's a bit safer that way. He does seem to try to get out of the crib sometimes, though he isn't doing it in a way that could be successful (while still on his back, moving his feet like he's trying to climb out or on his hands and knees).
There isn't a ton of information about night terrors, really. I mean, they are what they are (you kind of have to see it to really be able to understand what goes on), and there's only so much you can do about it. What you can do is pretty simple, really. Other than that, you wait it out. Each time it happens and over time - hoping it goes away, which it should.
For more information, though, here are some good websites that you can visit.
Mayo Clinic
WebMD
MedlinePlus (NLM NIH)
So, with all of this in mind, if you ever hear us say we can't do something because our toddler has to nap...know that his nap schedule is pretty crucial right now. Know we're not just blowing you off or that we're not just overbearing parents that think they can't ever get out and have fun because of that lousy naptime. Seriously, we can't miss that nap. It IS rather limiting, but we'd rather be forced to be at home every day for those hours around nap than up in the middle of the night with a terrified child. If we're visiting and you think..oh, let him stay up! I'ts [insert whatever holiday or special occasion here], let him have some fun! Know that letting him stay up and have a little extra fun isn't going to be just an inconvenience to us...but it will most likely have a huge impact on him later that night. We know this. So, please understand. We would love for him to have that extra fun...just not at the cost we know he might have to pay later. It's not personal against you; we're just trying to be good parents and make life easier and better for that little boy we all love. :) Saying he has to be in for naptime is not just an excuse. Well, I guess it kind of is. But it's a REALLY good and justifiable excuse.
Welcome to the world of night terrors, folks.
This has been happening for months, but we only realized around Christmas that they were, in fact, night terrors. I had suspected, but we finally were sure. We did a little internet research to learn a bit more about what was going on. Of course, it's hard to know for sure what's going on, but we have a good idea.
The thing is...night terrors are, well, pretty terrifying. I'm not sure exactly how scary they are for the child, since they don't remember them, and therefore, can't tell you about it. Then there's the fact that he's only two and can't really communicate all that well, especially with a concept as complicated as "dreaming." When Aiden has an episode, he often is literally trying to climb out of the place (crib, pack 'n play, wherever he is sleeping). If he's lying down, he'll have his legs straight up in the air, kicking the crib as hard as he can...like he's trying to get away from something or kick something away from him. He'll sometimes get on his hands and knees, as if he's trying to crawl away, or hit and push the pillow, like it's something that's after him. He will scream and scream as if he is scared. This isn't an "I want attention" sound...this is a "something is trying to really hurt me, and I am SCARED out of my mind" cry. His eyes might be closed, partially open, or all the way open, but he is totally out of it and not at all aware that we are nearby. He sometimes sounds like he's trying to actually yell something, but we can't usually tell what he's trying to say. And if all of that isn't bad enough...if he somehow does wake up, he gets even more intense and seems completely terrified and confused.
As a parent, seeing this...I don't know how to explain it other than scary. Who wants to see their child like this?? And who enjoys not being able to help their child? And then...to top that off...you aren't supposed to help! After learning more, we know that helping, trying to hold him, speaking to him at all - well, it just makes it worse! Now really, how awesome is that? It is pretty near impossible to just stand there and watch him go through all of this. While you do, you can't help but feel like parent of the year. Like...yeah, my child is obviously scared to death here, but I'm just going to stand back and enjoy the show. How 'bout some popcorn? Seriously. We've even read (can't remember where now - we've done a ton of searches by now) that when you talk to him or try to soothe the child, the sound of your voice can be incorporated into the terror and scare him even more. Not a fun thought. But knowing that even talking to him to try to soothe him really just scares him more helps to NOT talk to him.
It's still hard, though. Feeling helpless is one of my least favorite things to experience as a parent. And one of the most difficult. During each episode, I have to fight back the tears as I watch him and just stand there. I hate it. Really hate it.
Here are a couple things we've learned about night terrors....
Family history of sleep problems make them more likely. There's definitely a history. Mama has had insomnia, oh, pretty much her entire life. I'm not kidding. And Daddy...he has restless leg syndrome. So, that counts, right? Family history? Check.
Being overtired makes it more likely and worse. That's true. Now, we know Aiden's never been world's greatest sleeper. But he's not a terrible sleeper, either! He's always slept fairly well...but woke fairly often. Since we realized it actually IS an allergy causing the problem (I have always claimed I thought something else was going on - and Mama was right!) and we've taken measures to help with the allergen, Aiden has been a *wonderful* sleeper! He still is up early, but it's usually at 6 now, instead of 5. And he's napping between 2-3 hours each day. The night terrors have been occurring fairly regularly, but if he misses a nap...oh you can betcha he will have some awful night terrors that night! Maybe even repeatedly. We really realized this over Christmas when there were a couple days he missed naps b/c he was too excited or we had too much planned. Those nights, we all paid for it. Over and over. When we stick to his nap and bedtime schedule...strictly stick to it...things are so much better. Since Christmas he actually stopped his night terrors. Until this past week, that is. Not sure what has changed, but he's been having them all week. And then a couple weeks ago...the one day he refused to nap because mama got him home a bit late after a playdate (I think I need to set an alarm next time!) - that was not a fun night. So, yes....lack of sleep? Definitely makes things worse.
Night terrors aren't in and of themselves a problem, but they can lead to problems, since they disrupt sleep. Um, yeah. It's one of those cyclical things that aren't so much fun. Fatigue/sleep deprivation make night terrors worse. Night terrors disrupt sleep, causing more fatigue/sleep deprivation. These things also cause a grumpy toddler who needs to nap earlier than usual...but an early nap might mean he is later even more sleep deprived, blah, blah. Good times. (You certainly can sense the sarcasm there.)
Stress and anxiety can correlate with night terrors. Now, it's hard for me to know sometimes if there is anything stressing Aiden out. Most times I am pretty sure that's not an issue, BUT sometimes the little bit of playtime between dinner and bedtime isn't all that relaxing. Enter big brother, who is trying to play with Aiden...that usually means Camden is trying to be physical (hugging or wrestling or whatever) and Aiden is trying to avoid it (because he seriously is NOT a cuddly person) or gets too excited about it. Or they're having a blast chasing each other, which means Aiden really is not calming down but quite the opposite. I'm not sure if any of these have correlated with night terrors, but since realizing this is what was happening at night (the night terrors), we've made sure the time between dinner and bed does not include activity like this. Not that he didn't have a calm bedtime routine before, but we've extended it and have made sure Camden understands why it's so important for Aiden to remain calm. That time between dinner and bed is now a time when we ALL sit down, read or something like that as a family while Aiden nurses. It's as calm as we can make it. Not sure if it helps, but it certainly makes sense. And we all prefer to be doing this together anyway. It's good for everyone.
Night terrors and sleep walking can occur together. We don't know yet, and hopefully by the time Aiden would be able to sleep walk, he'll be past these. He's still in the crib, so he can't really go anywhere. That's good because we know he's a bit safer that way. He does seem to try to get out of the crib sometimes, though he isn't doing it in a way that could be successful (while still on his back, moving his feet like he's trying to climb out or on his hands and knees).
There isn't a ton of information about night terrors, really. I mean, they are what they are (you kind of have to see it to really be able to understand what goes on), and there's only so much you can do about it. What you can do is pretty simple, really. Other than that, you wait it out. Each time it happens and over time - hoping it goes away, which it should.
For more information, though, here are some good websites that you can visit.
Mayo Clinic
WebMD
MedlinePlus (NLM NIH)
So, with all of this in mind, if you ever hear us say we can't do something because our toddler has to nap...know that his nap schedule is pretty crucial right now. Know we're not just blowing you off or that we're not just overbearing parents that think they can't ever get out and have fun because of that lousy naptime. Seriously, we can't miss that nap. It IS rather limiting, but we'd rather be forced to be at home every day for those hours around nap than up in the middle of the night with a terrified child. If we're visiting and you think..oh, let him stay up! I'ts [insert whatever holiday or special occasion here], let him have some fun! Know that letting him stay up and have a little extra fun isn't going to be just an inconvenience to us...but it will most likely have a huge impact on him later that night. We know this. So, please understand. We would love for him to have that extra fun...just not at the cost we know he might have to pay later. It's not personal against you; we're just trying to be good parents and make life easier and better for that little boy we all love. :) Saying he has to be in for naptime is not just an excuse. Well, I guess it kind of is. But it's a REALLY good and justifiable excuse.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Considering Ourselves Lucky
This morning started off pretty typical. Aiden woke earlier than we wanted, but later than usual at 6am. I tried to put him back down and went back to my bed. He was quiet for a few minutes and then started playing, indicating he was up for the day. After a while, Daddy went to get him and bring him to me to nurse. What was different was that he showed up with Aiden only wearing his pajama shirt.... Hmm.
My first question to Ryan: Did he poop?
His response: I don't know. It was too dark to see.
I've heard way too many stories of parents finding out their child could take off their diaper by finding them in the crib, dirty diaper by their side, and poop smeared EVERYwhere. That was my fear and what my mind immediately jumped to.... Of course, I usually hear this from people that didn't have some kind of pants on over the diaper, so the child just undid the diaper tabs and easily took off the diaper. I thought we were immune for a little longer, since we don't do that. Apparently they can figure out how to take those pants off at some age, though. Imagine that. ;) We'll go back to wearing onesies under those two piece pajamas, I guess. (Off topic, just last week, Aiden took his shirt off while he was supposed to be going to sleep, too. After I put it back on, he got it stuck over his head - his arms still in the arm holes but the rest of the shirt was pulled over his head and around the back of his neck. After that, I left the shirt off.)
When we went back into the room, the diaper tabs were still where they would have been if he had the diaper on, and they were still in the pajama pants, indicating he had pushed them off together. There was one tiny piece of poop lying on the sheet. Nice.
BUT...upon looking into the diaper, there was a much larger than normal amount of poop INSIDE it. He most likely did not even touch the poop that was loose in the crib. It most likely was still attached to another area and fell off...if you know what I mean. (Haha! Are you picturing that? Gross. Ha.) Considering the fact that what was in the diaper was more than usual and that he had managed to take all of that off while keeping it IN the diaper...we're considering ourselves very, very lucky.
Just one more reason we can't leave him sitting in his crib while we try to snooze a bit more. (We've learned that if he doesn't go down to sleep within a small amount of time, he will poop. I guess that now goes for when he wakes up, too...)
I'm sure you can sit back and enjoy a good laugh now. And be happy your child hasn't done it.
Yet.
My first question to Ryan: Did he poop?
His response: I don't know. It was too dark to see.
I've heard way too many stories of parents finding out their child could take off their diaper by finding them in the crib, dirty diaper by their side, and poop smeared EVERYwhere. That was my fear and what my mind immediately jumped to.... Of course, I usually hear this from people that didn't have some kind of pants on over the diaper, so the child just undid the diaper tabs and easily took off the diaper. I thought we were immune for a little longer, since we don't do that. Apparently they can figure out how to take those pants off at some age, though. Imagine that. ;) We'll go back to wearing onesies under those two piece pajamas, I guess. (Off topic, just last week, Aiden took his shirt off while he was supposed to be going to sleep, too. After I put it back on, he got it stuck over his head - his arms still in the arm holes but the rest of the shirt was pulled over his head and around the back of his neck. After that, I left the shirt off.)
When we went back into the room, the diaper tabs were still where they would have been if he had the diaper on, and they were still in the pajama pants, indicating he had pushed them off together. There was one tiny piece of poop lying on the sheet. Nice.
BUT...upon looking into the diaper, there was a much larger than normal amount of poop INSIDE it. He most likely did not even touch the poop that was loose in the crib. It most likely was still attached to another area and fell off...if you know what I mean. (Haha! Are you picturing that? Gross. Ha.) Considering the fact that what was in the diaper was more than usual and that he had managed to take all of that off while keeping it IN the diaper...we're considering ourselves very, very lucky.
Just one more reason we can't leave him sitting in his crib while we try to snooze a bit more. (We've learned that if he doesn't go down to sleep within a small amount of time, he will poop. I guess that now goes for when he wakes up, too...)
I'm sure you can sit back and enjoy a good laugh now. And be happy your child hasn't done it.
Yet.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Sleep update (kind of)
First of all, thanks for all of the comments. (I get most of my comments via email, fb, talking in person, or phone calls, actually.) It's nice to know others are going or have gone through similar things. Not that I want others to feel our pain, but there's definitely something about knowing you're not alone! I think many parents deal with problems with their children sleeping - they just don't all talk about it so much, whether because they don't want to admit they don't have it all under control or they don't want to be pressured into handling it in a way they aren't comfortable, or for whatever reasons. I know there are more of us sleep-deprived parents out there! ;)
Secondly...we kind of have a plan. It's kind of what we already started doing with a little added to it. We have been trying to just get up when Aiden gets up. After MONTHS of trying to get him to sleep past 5am, WE'RE exhausted, so we're trying to get to bed earlier. Sometimes you have to stop and take care of yourselves first, so that's what we're doing. Before we can put much more energy into working with Aiden at 5am or earlier, WE need to get some more rest.
But Aiden still needs more sleep. While it wasn't our preferred thing to do, we have gone back to giving Aiden two naps a day. This is not preferred for many reasons... We'll have to miss out on our weekly commitments (playdates and Bible study) for a while b/c a morning nap will take place at those times. Running errands is harder when you only have around lunchtime free, too. And at some point, we will have to transition once again to one nap instead of two. Also, Aiden nurses before the afternoon nap, but I'm not going to add back in another nursing before a morning nap. He's not liked that, but it's how it is.
The first day of two naps didn't go so well, so I wasn't too encouraged. He took two one-hour naps and woke up QUITE grumpy from the second one, clearly tired but refusing to go back to sleep. When we go for the first nap, I try to read to Aiden, but he gets so mad that I'm not nursing him, I end up just putting him in bed. BUT once I tuck him in and leave the room...he stops fussing. So, I don't feel so bad about him getting upset and missing the story. He's only mad while I'm right there!
Second day of two naps... He took two 1h45m long naps! That's a total of three and a half hours of sleep. When he takes one nap, he only sleeps about two hours. Now, we would rather him sleep that extra hour and a half in the morning before getting up for the day, but right now...we're just happy he's getting it period! Hopefully we can gradually get him to sleep longer and cut out that morning nap. But let's not get too ahead of ourselves just yet.
So, these long naps have happened over the past few days. And even though he's been sleeping until dinner time in the afternoons, he's not going to bed much later at all! Maybe 15 minutes later... And he's going right to sleep, often quicker than he usually falls asleep. Clearly he needs this extra rest! I've been really surprised at how easily he goes to sleep, as he doesn't even seem to be tired when I put him down for his morning nap! He'll be playing happily, acting like sleep is the last thing he needs. Yet it's obviously not.
Mornings... Well, one morning, he thought he would start waking at 3:30. I ended up going into him instead of Ryan. Why? Won't he just want to nurse? Well, of course! BUT I'm better about getting him tucked in and quickly leaving, even if he's fussing. Ryan wants him to calm down first and keep the blankets on. I've dealt with Aiden and sleeping more than Ryan has, so I'm a bit better at knowing when I can get out versus when I'm really needing to stay in longer. Not that Ryan doesn't try! He REALLY does, and I love that about him. So, I went in. Aiden screamed when I wouldn't get him out to nurse. I tucked him in, explained that he needed to go to sleep until the sun was shining, and I left. Before I was through my bedroom door, he had stopped crying. (This normally doesn't happen in the mornings...I wonder if that extra sleep during naptime has helped...) From this point until 5:30, he would wake like this and then sleep for 20 or so minutes, wake again, sleep again, with me going in whenever he woke. Why don't I just leave him alone when he wakes? Because I know my son. You don't go check on him, and he wakes up even more. That's the opposite of what we want.
This morning, he woke before 5, I went in, he went back to sleep until 5:30 and was then up for the day. See it however you want, I choose to see this as progress. :) I only needed to go to him once. And he went back to sleep for a bit and for a longer stretch than he did the other mornings. And he woke later than he did the other mornings.
Ryan and I have been managing to get into bed by around 10pm the past few nights, as well. I noticed the last two nights that by 10, I was feeling like it was well after 11. Maybe our bodies are adjusting to going to sleep a bit earlier, who knows. Hopefully we can keep this up, because WE certainly need the extra sleep. Another plus is that...if we continue to wake early (yet still get to bed early and get more sleep), Ryan might try to start working earlier...which means coming home earlier and actually having more time all together! That would be so wonderful because now, we eat the moment he walks in the door. As soon as dinner is over, he literally picks Aiden up from the high chair and takes him straight up to give him a bath! Then we get Aiden in bed. Not much time with Daddy... So, if this works out, we might even have more time as a family in the evenings. Silver lining.
I feel like we at least have a better grasp on what we are doing now.
We have gotten some suggestions from others. One friend also had to go back to two naps. It's always encouraging to know someone else who also had to back-track a bit. Some have recommended room-darkening blinds/curtains. We were all ready to get some, and when I was in Aiden's room multiple times the other morning, I actually paid attention and noticed it was still rather dark, as in very dark. Some have simply been sympathetic about it because they've been through something similar or just know they couldn't function on such little sleep. Some have mentioned letting him cry it out. Well, that's a long story, and there are many reasons we aren't doing that.
For one thing, (and I hate to even admit this) I tried it before and it totally backfired, causing Aiden to be extremely cling and fearful of me even getting him near his bed. I only let him cry for naptime for two days. It took much longer than two days to undo (more than a week even and that was with quite a bit of work and reassurance on my part), and I won't do it again. I only did it because I was at the end of my rope at the time, not knowing what else to do, as we had (thought we had) exhausted all other methods. Also, it's not that Aiden won't go to sleep on his own. He does. Every night and every naptime. We've always taught him to do that...sometimes he did better and he went through phases where he wouldn't do it. We never were ones to nurse/rock/sing him to sleep. It didn't help that he would fall asleep within minutes of starting to nurse. Even in the hospital, we would work at keeping him awake to get the full meal. A nurse snapped at me that he was too cold when she saw that we had left him in only a diaper while nursing. When my mother and I snapped back that he wouldn't stay awake to nurse, she politely backed off. Point is, we tried very hard not to let him nurse to sleep from day one, but it was a lot of work! So, this child who wonderfully puts himself to sleep will still have a hard time going back to sleep if he does wake. One of my friends said she thinks that is what makes his case a bit different b/c most babies that can put themselves TO sleep can typically put themselves back to sleep if they wake too early. Who knows why he's so different... But I'm not sure how letting him cry will teach him to go BACK to sleep. If he wakes and is left to cry, he only wakes up more! That just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I will say that Aiden will be allowed to fuss when going to sleep or back to sleep. Now...I differentiate between letting him fuss some and letting him CIO (cry it out). Fussing is a bit of crying but it's when he's whining some b/c he's not happy with what we're doing. When it gets to the point he is actually crying - that means he needs something or is scared or hurt. I won't let him get to that point without checking on him. I think there are many reasons not to let a child stay in that emotional state. It's not healthy for various reasons. It's not that I'm fearful he will remember being left to cry and will hate me for it one day. Ha. No. It has more to do with how being that upset can affect his stress hormones and his health. There's a lot of research on it out there. Also...the real CIO plan is not about leaving your child to cry until they fall asleep! The real CIO only intends for parents to leave their child to cry for a small amount of time before checking in on them at certain intervals. They're not meant to leave the child for hours, crying. And I won't do that. I think some people hear CIO and just assume you're supposed to just leave them to cry until they give up, but that's not the case.
Seriously...I could go on and on about this, but I won't. It's a whole other topic, and I don't want to turn Aiden's sleep stuff into a debate on whether or not to let a child cry it out (so please, don't go there). I know parents that have done it, and I know people that won't. To each his own, and I will not judge another parent for doing what they feel is comfortable. But I don't need to hear any more suggestions to just let him cry. We've tried to do that, anyway, and it does NOT work with Aiden...it does quite the opposite, and I won't go that route with him. He does fuss some, and we know at which point to step in. His sleep issues are not the result of us not letting him cry for hours. He actually sleeps rather well! He just wakes up an hour or so earlier than he needs.
Back to the main issue.... *Sigh* So easy to get off topic. Anyway, he's taking his second nap of the day now. I've noticed with each day of two naps, he goes to sleep quicker and quicker, indicating this is just what he needs. I've also noticed that he has woken some during his naps and put himself back to sleep! Even once or twice he's stirred in the middle of the night, and he went right back to sleep on his own. This is real improvement for him! And all we've done is made sure he got an extra nap! Instead of feeling guilty that we haven't been doing this, I am just happy we are doing it now. I know this means we'll miss out on our weekly activities - my time with other mommy friends, his time with his little buddies. But the fact is, his sleep is our top priority at the moment. It affects too many aspects of his health, brain development, and mood to put other *wants* above it. Hopefully it won't take too long, and we'll be back on track with our other activities soon, though. I know we're going to miss them! Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the fact that my child is sleeping and am hopeful that this will help.
Secondly...we kind of have a plan. It's kind of what we already started doing with a little added to it. We have been trying to just get up when Aiden gets up. After MONTHS of trying to get him to sleep past 5am, WE'RE exhausted, so we're trying to get to bed earlier. Sometimes you have to stop and take care of yourselves first, so that's what we're doing. Before we can put much more energy into working with Aiden at 5am or earlier, WE need to get some more rest.
But Aiden still needs more sleep. While it wasn't our preferred thing to do, we have gone back to giving Aiden two naps a day. This is not preferred for many reasons... We'll have to miss out on our weekly commitments (playdates and Bible study) for a while b/c a morning nap will take place at those times. Running errands is harder when you only have around lunchtime free, too. And at some point, we will have to transition once again to one nap instead of two. Also, Aiden nurses before the afternoon nap, but I'm not going to add back in another nursing before a morning nap. He's not liked that, but it's how it is.
The first day of two naps didn't go so well, so I wasn't too encouraged. He took two one-hour naps and woke up QUITE grumpy from the second one, clearly tired but refusing to go back to sleep. When we go for the first nap, I try to read to Aiden, but he gets so mad that I'm not nursing him, I end up just putting him in bed. BUT once I tuck him in and leave the room...he stops fussing. So, I don't feel so bad about him getting upset and missing the story. He's only mad while I'm right there!
Second day of two naps... He took two 1h45m long naps! That's a total of three and a half hours of sleep. When he takes one nap, he only sleeps about two hours. Now, we would rather him sleep that extra hour and a half in the morning before getting up for the day, but right now...we're just happy he's getting it period! Hopefully we can gradually get him to sleep longer and cut out that morning nap. But let's not get too ahead of ourselves just yet.
So, these long naps have happened over the past few days. And even though he's been sleeping until dinner time in the afternoons, he's not going to bed much later at all! Maybe 15 minutes later... And he's going right to sleep, often quicker than he usually falls asleep. Clearly he needs this extra rest! I've been really surprised at how easily he goes to sleep, as he doesn't even seem to be tired when I put him down for his morning nap! He'll be playing happily, acting like sleep is the last thing he needs. Yet it's obviously not.
Mornings... Well, one morning, he thought he would start waking at 3:30. I ended up going into him instead of Ryan. Why? Won't he just want to nurse? Well, of course! BUT I'm better about getting him tucked in and quickly leaving, even if he's fussing. Ryan wants him to calm down first and keep the blankets on. I've dealt with Aiden and sleeping more than Ryan has, so I'm a bit better at knowing when I can get out versus when I'm really needing to stay in longer. Not that Ryan doesn't try! He REALLY does, and I love that about him. So, I went in. Aiden screamed when I wouldn't get him out to nurse. I tucked him in, explained that he needed to go to sleep until the sun was shining, and I left. Before I was through my bedroom door, he had stopped crying. (This normally doesn't happen in the mornings...I wonder if that extra sleep during naptime has helped...) From this point until 5:30, he would wake like this and then sleep for 20 or so minutes, wake again, sleep again, with me going in whenever he woke. Why don't I just leave him alone when he wakes? Because I know my son. You don't go check on him, and he wakes up even more. That's the opposite of what we want.
This morning, he woke before 5, I went in, he went back to sleep until 5:30 and was then up for the day. See it however you want, I choose to see this as progress. :) I only needed to go to him once. And he went back to sleep for a bit and for a longer stretch than he did the other mornings. And he woke later than he did the other mornings.
Ryan and I have been managing to get into bed by around 10pm the past few nights, as well. I noticed the last two nights that by 10, I was feeling like it was well after 11. Maybe our bodies are adjusting to going to sleep a bit earlier, who knows. Hopefully we can keep this up, because WE certainly need the extra sleep. Another plus is that...if we continue to wake early (yet still get to bed early and get more sleep), Ryan might try to start working earlier...which means coming home earlier and actually having more time all together! That would be so wonderful because now, we eat the moment he walks in the door. As soon as dinner is over, he literally picks Aiden up from the high chair and takes him straight up to give him a bath! Then we get Aiden in bed. Not much time with Daddy... So, if this works out, we might even have more time as a family in the evenings. Silver lining.
I feel like we at least have a better grasp on what we are doing now.
We have gotten some suggestions from others. One friend also had to go back to two naps. It's always encouraging to know someone else who also had to back-track a bit. Some have recommended room-darkening blinds/curtains. We were all ready to get some, and when I was in Aiden's room multiple times the other morning, I actually paid attention and noticed it was still rather dark, as in very dark. Some have simply been sympathetic about it because they've been through something similar or just know they couldn't function on such little sleep. Some have mentioned letting him cry it out. Well, that's a long story, and there are many reasons we aren't doing that.
For one thing, (and I hate to even admit this) I tried it before and it totally backfired, causing Aiden to be extremely cling and fearful of me even getting him near his bed. I only let him cry for naptime for two days. It took much longer than two days to undo (more than a week even and that was with quite a bit of work and reassurance on my part), and I won't do it again. I only did it because I was at the end of my rope at the time, not knowing what else to do, as we had (thought we had) exhausted all other methods. Also, it's not that Aiden won't go to sleep on his own. He does. Every night and every naptime. We've always taught him to do that...sometimes he did better and he went through phases where he wouldn't do it. We never were ones to nurse/rock/sing him to sleep. It didn't help that he would fall asleep within minutes of starting to nurse. Even in the hospital, we would work at keeping him awake to get the full meal. A nurse snapped at me that he was too cold when she saw that we had left him in only a diaper while nursing. When my mother and I snapped back that he wouldn't stay awake to nurse, she politely backed off. Point is, we tried very hard not to let him nurse to sleep from day one, but it was a lot of work! So, this child who wonderfully puts himself to sleep will still have a hard time going back to sleep if he does wake. One of my friends said she thinks that is what makes his case a bit different b/c most babies that can put themselves TO sleep can typically put themselves back to sleep if they wake too early. Who knows why he's so different... But I'm not sure how letting him cry will teach him to go BACK to sleep. If he wakes and is left to cry, he only wakes up more! That just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I will say that Aiden will be allowed to fuss when going to sleep or back to sleep. Now...I differentiate between letting him fuss some and letting him CIO (cry it out). Fussing is a bit of crying but it's when he's whining some b/c he's not happy with what we're doing. When it gets to the point he is actually crying - that means he needs something or is scared or hurt. I won't let him get to that point without checking on him. I think there are many reasons not to let a child stay in that emotional state. It's not healthy for various reasons. It's not that I'm fearful he will remember being left to cry and will hate me for it one day. Ha. No. It has more to do with how being that upset can affect his stress hormones and his health. There's a lot of research on it out there. Also...the real CIO plan is not about leaving your child to cry until they fall asleep! The real CIO only intends for parents to leave their child to cry for a small amount of time before checking in on them at certain intervals. They're not meant to leave the child for hours, crying. And I won't do that. I think some people hear CIO and just assume you're supposed to just leave them to cry until they give up, but that's not the case.
Seriously...I could go on and on about this, but I won't. It's a whole other topic, and I don't want to turn Aiden's sleep stuff into a debate on whether or not to let a child cry it out (so please, don't go there). I know parents that have done it, and I know people that won't. To each his own, and I will not judge another parent for doing what they feel is comfortable. But I don't need to hear any more suggestions to just let him cry. We've tried to do that, anyway, and it does NOT work with Aiden...it does quite the opposite, and I won't go that route with him. He does fuss some, and we know at which point to step in. His sleep issues are not the result of us not letting him cry for hours. He actually sleeps rather well! He just wakes up an hour or so earlier than he needs.
Back to the main issue.... *Sigh* So easy to get off topic. Anyway, he's taking his second nap of the day now. I've noticed with each day of two naps, he goes to sleep quicker and quicker, indicating this is just what he needs. I've also noticed that he has woken some during his naps and put himself back to sleep! Even once or twice he's stirred in the middle of the night, and he went right back to sleep on his own. This is real improvement for him! And all we've done is made sure he got an extra nap! Instead of feeling guilty that we haven't been doing this, I am just happy we are doing it now. I know this means we'll miss out on our weekly activities - my time with other mommy friends, his time with his little buddies. But the fact is, his sleep is our top priority at the moment. It affects too many aspects of his health, brain development, and mood to put other *wants* above it. Hopefully it won't take too long, and we'll be back on track with our other activities soon, though. I know we're going to miss them! Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the fact that my child is sleeping and am hopeful that this will help.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sleep? What sleep?!?
So, we're not getting much sleep around here lately. Well, Camden is. Good for him. GREAT for him. The rest of us? Notsomuch.
I've mentioned recently that we're trying a few different things to get Aiden to sleep longer in the mornings. He goes down just fine, going to sleep on his own. He usually doesn't wake up throughout the night, and if he does, all we do is lay him back down, and he goes right back to sleep. BUT the problem is him waking up by 5am. At this point, we feel we have done EVERYthing to try to get him to sleep longer. I mean everything.
We're at the point where we have NO clue what else to do.
Now, I know that I have always had trouble with sleep. My mom will tell me that I didn't hardly sleep as a baby, and it got to the point where the dr had to prescribe some heavy medicine to help me sleep some, probably because my mom also wasn't getting any sleep! Baby isn't the only one that needs it! As long as I can remember I've had problems falling asleep. I've been to doctors to try various medicines, all of them only temporarily working (as in a couple weeks). I still have insomnia, and I have found one medicine that actually works...but I won't take it with a baby in the house. It's supposed to be a good one for moms (and dads, right?!) b/c you are supposed to be able to easily wake up if needed, but I would rather not chance it. Besides, the other parent has that habit of turning off the monitor in his sleep.. And I'm still nursing Aiden, so that's another reason not to take it. BUT I've never had an issue with waking too early! Ha. Just the opposite. I truly think it's because it takes so long to GET to sleep, but I am nearly impossible to wake up. Always have been.
Apparently Ryan also had a hard time sleeping. His does involve waking way too early, but, as his mom has said...he just didn't need more sleep! He would be ready to get up and play!
The thing is...Aiden is NOT ready to get up and play. Yet he can't get back to sleep...or stay asleep past that early time. It's clear that he's not getting enough rest, and that really worries us. It's also becoming very clear that the parents aren't getting enough rest. I haven't had a good night's sleep in more than two years (I know, Aiden's not two years just yet, but, come on - you do not sleep all that well while pregnant!). And Ryan's been dealing with too little sleep for a few months now, too. We do worry sometimes that there is an underlying cause that we aren't aware of..maybe something with allergies or who knows what else! It's so hard to know the causes for things sometimes.
So....since we seem to be at the end of our ropes and still know we need to find some way to get more sleep...we're reserving to getting up when Aiden does. At 5. Yeah, we're kind of giving up and giving in. At this point, we're letting him come in to nurse before we get up for good. In order for the parents to get more sleep, we're trying to go to bed even earlier...as in 9:00pm! Ugh. This is really hard when that's the only time we get alone or to do certain things (many things) around the house. And it's hard for me to fall asleep even earlier, when I already struggle with it at 11 or 12. But we're trying. If we can manage to keep it going, Ryan might be able to go into work earlier and then come home earlier. We still are struggling with how to get Aiden to sleep more, too, though. Today he woke up at 4am (nice....), which happens occasionally, and he's on his second nap (which is not common). We're not sure if he needs to go to two naps a day again, and that would really mess with our other commitments during the week, as they ALL are at the time a morning nap would occur. But if it's needed and it works... I'm just not convinced it will work.
EDITED to update... Two naps didn't work so well today. Slept for one hour in the morning - going down was hard b/c he nurses before his afternoon nap and so wanted to nurse this time, as well. We haven't nursed in the morning for a few months now, so he did not like not nursing before his morning nap. Nap 2 only lasted an hour, as well, and he woke up very cranky, still clearly tired but refusing to go back to sleep. Not a great day for us, and I think we're both still pretty frustrated over it all.
Now - if anyone thinks they can come up with a solution, please, feel free to post away!!! No need to suggest letting him fuss some or having one of us stay in his room overnight or having just Daddy go to him or moving his bedtime earlier or..... When I say we feel like we have exhausted all possible solutions, I mean it. But if you think you have some other idea that might make a difference or that we might not have considered, we would love to hear it! I would love to say there is some prize for a winning idea because getting this child to sleep until 6am even is worth the world! I'm just way too tired to come up with something...
I've mentioned recently that we're trying a few different things to get Aiden to sleep longer in the mornings. He goes down just fine, going to sleep on his own. He usually doesn't wake up throughout the night, and if he does, all we do is lay him back down, and he goes right back to sleep. BUT the problem is him waking up by 5am. At this point, we feel we have done EVERYthing to try to get him to sleep longer. I mean everything.
We're at the point where we have NO clue what else to do.
Now, I know that I have always had trouble with sleep. My mom will tell me that I didn't hardly sleep as a baby, and it got to the point where the dr had to prescribe some heavy medicine to help me sleep some, probably because my mom also wasn't getting any sleep! Baby isn't the only one that needs it! As long as I can remember I've had problems falling asleep. I've been to doctors to try various medicines, all of them only temporarily working (as in a couple weeks). I still have insomnia, and I have found one medicine that actually works...but I won't take it with a baby in the house. It's supposed to be a good one for moms (and dads, right?!) b/c you are supposed to be able to easily wake up if needed, but I would rather not chance it. Besides, the other parent has that habit of turning off the monitor in his sleep.. And I'm still nursing Aiden, so that's another reason not to take it. BUT I've never had an issue with waking too early! Ha. Just the opposite. I truly think it's because it takes so long to GET to sleep, but I am nearly impossible to wake up. Always have been.
Apparently Ryan also had a hard time sleeping. His does involve waking way too early, but, as his mom has said...he just didn't need more sleep! He would be ready to get up and play!
The thing is...Aiden is NOT ready to get up and play. Yet he can't get back to sleep...or stay asleep past that early time. It's clear that he's not getting enough rest, and that really worries us. It's also becoming very clear that the parents aren't getting enough rest. I haven't had a good night's sleep in more than two years (I know, Aiden's not two years just yet, but, come on - you do not sleep all that well while pregnant!). And Ryan's been dealing with too little sleep for a few months now, too. We do worry sometimes that there is an underlying cause that we aren't aware of..maybe something with allergies or who knows what else! It's so hard to know the causes for things sometimes.
So....since we seem to be at the end of our ropes and still know we need to find some way to get more sleep...we're reserving to getting up when Aiden does. At 5. Yeah, we're kind of giving up and giving in. At this point, we're letting him come in to nurse before we get up for good. In order for the parents to get more sleep, we're trying to go to bed even earlier...as in 9:00pm! Ugh. This is really hard when that's the only time we get alone or to do certain things (many things) around the house. And it's hard for me to fall asleep even earlier, when I already struggle with it at 11 or 12. But we're trying. If we can manage to keep it going, Ryan might be able to go into work earlier and then come home earlier. We still are struggling with how to get Aiden to sleep more, too, though. Today he woke up at 4am (nice....), which happens occasionally, and he's on his second nap (which is not common). We're not sure if he needs to go to two naps a day again, and that would really mess with our other commitments during the week, as they ALL are at the time a morning nap would occur. But if it's needed and it works... I'm just not convinced it will work.
EDITED to update... Two naps didn't work so well today. Slept for one hour in the morning - going down was hard b/c he nurses before his afternoon nap and so wanted to nurse this time, as well. We haven't nursed in the morning for a few months now, so he did not like not nursing before his morning nap. Nap 2 only lasted an hour, as well, and he woke up very cranky, still clearly tired but refusing to go back to sleep. Not a great day for us, and I think we're both still pretty frustrated over it all.
Now - if anyone thinks they can come up with a solution, please, feel free to post away!!! No need to suggest letting him fuss some or having one of us stay in his room overnight or having just Daddy go to him or moving his bedtime earlier or..... When I say we feel like we have exhausted all possible solutions, I mean it. But if you think you have some other idea that might make a difference or that we might not have considered, we would love to hear it! I would love to say there is some prize for a winning idea because getting this child to sleep until 6am even is worth the world! I'm just way too tired to come up with something...
Busy Few Days
We had a busy few days recently. Lots going on! Fun stuff...but busy. :)
I took the boys to one of Camden's favorite museums on Earth Day last week. We took it slow and didn't rush through anything - and didn't worry if we missed seeing something, either. It was a nice change. Don't you hate going to the zoo or somewhere that has SO much to see and then feeling like you rushed the entire time just so you could see it all?? What's the point? (If you really think about it...) We realized we would much rather miss some stuff and really get to enjoy what we DID see. We had a great time! Aiden loved just about everything, too. He didn't nap, which I was prepared for, but he did really well...and did fall asleep while walking in the parking lot to the car at the end of the day! Of course.
The only bad part of the day was the hives that mysteriously showed up on his cheek during lunch. I brought our lunches from home and we used a roll-up placemat that we take everywhere (love this thing!), so he didn't eat anything he shouldn't have. When he was out of the stroller walking, we made sure he didn't touch any plants, etc. (There's a huge outdoor component to the museum - it really is an awesome museum with TONS to do!) The hives were on his cheek close to his ear, and we couldn't figure out where they might have come from. We even talked to someone at the museum... Hives are kind of new to me still, so we wanted to check to make sure it wasn't a bug bite or something from a plant he may have touched. They confirmed it looked like hives and even went as far as to give the whole family a free pass another day (which I totally did not expect). We're still not sure what it's from, and they ended up spreading down to his chin over the next hour. They never seemed to bother him at all - just me and Camden! And then they went away... It's still a mystery!
Pictures...
When I asked Camden what his most/least favorite parts of the day were... Favorite: Two butterflies landed on him in the conservatory. Least favorite: Aiden's hives. Aside from the hives, it was a GREAT day, though. Aiden slept in the car on the way home, and we stopped to say hi to Daddy, since we passed his office going home. We quickly realized that was a mistake. Ryan opened the car door, realized Aiden was asleep and we weren't getting out, and closed the door. It woke Aiden up, and he screamed the next 30 minutes it took to get home. That part wasn't so much fun for any of us.
Then Saturday, Ryan threw me a 30th Birthday cookout with some friends. He bought way too much food, and we didn't get many pictures b/c we were so busy talking with everyone. It was a lot of fun, though. :) We don't normally do much for our own birthdays, but he decided to do a little something extra since it was the big 3-0. The rain held off until just after the cookout, too, which was really nice.
Pictures... (Ok, this album has ALL the April pictures, not just ones from the cookout.)
Sunday... Aiden went to the nursery at church for the very first time. He did really well. That's because Mommy stayed in there, though. ;) He's very attached right now and has a difficult time being away from me, so we're trying to transition him as easily as possible. I just signed up to be the extra helper for that service, and I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible. Every now and then, he would realize I wasn't right next to him and would start turning around, looking at all sides of himself, saying "Mommy...? Mommy...?" in the most pitiful voice possible - until I reassured him I was right there. But for the most part he was fine. We've put off doing this for a few reasons...mostly b/c of how easily he gets sick (and being around more kids in this kind of setting might increase some colds at first, especially if we did it during cold/flu season) and also b/c of his food allergies/intolerances. They sit very closely together when having snack, so we do worry about him getting the snacks served, even though we always bring his snack (wherever we go!). He can't have any of the things they have on the snack menu. So, next week, Ryan will go in with Aiden and stay as the volunteer. If that goes well, Ryan will attempt to drop Aiden off in there the week after...leaving him while we both try to sit through the service, sans baby. We'll see how it goes!
So, after church, Aiden ended up falling asleep on the way home (we went to the 9am service, and the drive home is about half an hour). We thought we would let him take a short nap and put him in bed...he miraculously slept a total of three hours! This is UNHEARD of (he did wake up extra early, as in around 4am or so, but even when that happens...a three-hour nap never happens!). After the long nap, we headed back to Cary (close to church, actually) to go strawberry picking!! They're in season here and they are soooo super sweet. There are also TONS, so it took us no time to get four full buckets. It was a lot of fun. I think even Ryan had to admit it wasn't so bad. ;) Aiden and I went back yesterday with some friends and got a bit more, too! I have a feeling we'll be back a couple more times before the season is over. Our freezer will be FULL of strawberries to last us until next season!
Pictures of the strawberry pickin'...
Enjoy all the pictures!
I took the boys to one of Camden's favorite museums on Earth Day last week. We took it slow and didn't rush through anything - and didn't worry if we missed seeing something, either. It was a nice change. Don't you hate going to the zoo or somewhere that has SO much to see and then feeling like you rushed the entire time just so you could see it all?? What's the point? (If you really think about it...) We realized we would much rather miss some stuff and really get to enjoy what we DID see. We had a great time! Aiden loved just about everything, too. He didn't nap, which I was prepared for, but he did really well...and did fall asleep while walking in the parking lot to the car at the end of the day! Of course.
The only bad part of the day was the hives that mysteriously showed up on his cheek during lunch. I brought our lunches from home and we used a roll-up placemat that we take everywhere (love this thing!), so he didn't eat anything he shouldn't have. When he was out of the stroller walking, we made sure he didn't touch any plants, etc. (There's a huge outdoor component to the museum - it really is an awesome museum with TONS to do!) The hives were on his cheek close to his ear, and we couldn't figure out where they might have come from. We even talked to someone at the museum... Hives are kind of new to me still, so we wanted to check to make sure it wasn't a bug bite or something from a plant he may have touched. They confirmed it looked like hives and even went as far as to give the whole family a free pass another day (which I totally did not expect). We're still not sure what it's from, and they ended up spreading down to his chin over the next hour. They never seemed to bother him at all - just me and Camden! And then they went away... It's still a mystery!
Pictures...
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| Museum of Life & Science - Earth Day 2010 |
When I asked Camden what his most/least favorite parts of the day were... Favorite: Two butterflies landed on him in the conservatory. Least favorite: Aiden's hives. Aside from the hives, it was a GREAT day, though. Aiden slept in the car on the way home, and we stopped to say hi to Daddy, since we passed his office going home. We quickly realized that was a mistake. Ryan opened the car door, realized Aiden was asleep and we weren't getting out, and closed the door. It woke Aiden up, and he screamed the next 30 minutes it took to get home. That part wasn't so much fun for any of us.
Then Saturday, Ryan threw me a 30th Birthday cookout with some friends. He bought way too much food, and we didn't get many pictures b/c we were so busy talking with everyone. It was a lot of fun, though. :) We don't normally do much for our own birthdays, but he decided to do a little something extra since it was the big 3-0. The rain held off until just after the cookout, too, which was really nice.
Pictures... (Ok, this album has ALL the April pictures, not just ones from the cookout.)
 |
| 2010 April |
Sunday... Aiden went to the nursery at church for the very first time. He did really well. That's because Mommy stayed in there, though. ;) He's very attached right now and has a difficult time being away from me, so we're trying to transition him as easily as possible. I just signed up to be the extra helper for that service, and I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible. Every now and then, he would realize I wasn't right next to him and would start turning around, looking at all sides of himself, saying "Mommy...? Mommy...?" in the most pitiful voice possible - until I reassured him I was right there. But for the most part he was fine. We've put off doing this for a few reasons...mostly b/c of how easily he gets sick (and being around more kids in this kind of setting might increase some colds at first, especially if we did it during cold/flu season) and also b/c of his food allergies/intolerances. They sit very closely together when having snack, so we do worry about him getting the snacks served, even though we always bring his snack (wherever we go!). He can't have any of the things they have on the snack menu. So, next week, Ryan will go in with Aiden and stay as the volunteer. If that goes well, Ryan will attempt to drop Aiden off in there the week after...leaving him while we both try to sit through the service, sans baby. We'll see how it goes!
So, after church, Aiden ended up falling asleep on the way home (we went to the 9am service, and the drive home is about half an hour). We thought we would let him take a short nap and put him in bed...he miraculously slept a total of three hours! This is UNHEARD of (he did wake up extra early, as in around 4am or so, but even when that happens...a three-hour nap never happens!). After the long nap, we headed back to Cary (close to church, actually) to go strawberry picking!! They're in season here and they are soooo super sweet. There are also TONS, so it took us no time to get four full buckets. It was a lot of fun. I think even Ryan had to admit it wasn't so bad. ;) Aiden and I went back yesterday with some friends and got a bit more, too! I have a feeling we'll be back a couple more times before the season is over. Our freezer will be FULL of strawberries to last us until next season!
Pictures of the strawberry pickin'...
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| Strawberry Picking! Spring 2010 |
Enjoy all the pictures!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Speaking of doing things in your sleep...
This one isn't so cute, though.
I've noticed Ryan has a tendency to do something in his sleep, and it's really been bothering me. Hopefully he won't mind me writing about this. This isn't a gripe session. It's a genuine concern.
So, I used to be the one to always get up with Aiden at night. He needed to nurse; not much Ryan could do, especially when Aiden was sleeping in our bed. But now Ryan gets up if Aiden wakes in the middle of the night. He goes in to try to get him back to sleep without nursing. Aiden often doesn't wake until about 4 or 5, at which point he demands to nurse, which is fine (if you knew how often he woke up until this past fall....). He had been waking a bit earlier lately b/c of colds and teething. Every now and then I would wake up when Ryan was also waking...but sometimes instead of him jumping out of bed to go to Aiden, like he was supposed to...he was turning OFF the monitor!!!
Seriously.
And he was totally unaware of what he was doing. Ok, so he wasn't really asleep. But he was mostly asleep and not awake enough to realize what was going on. One night recently, he was turning it off and I caught him and said something. Aiden had been crying before he turned the monitor off. I asked if he was going to check on Aiden, and he responded...but he's not crying now. Um, yeah...you don't hear him now because you turned the monitor off! He still wasn't getting it, so I just had to get up and check on Aiden, who actually had went back to sleep (probably after he realized nobody was coming to get him, poor thing.)
The problem is, this has happened more than once. And Ryan is completely unaware of what is going on. Sometimes I don't wake up when he gets up with him, not if there is little fussing and he goes right back to sleep after Ryan is in the nursery. Once I actually woke up after Aiden was crying...it took me a while to figure out what was going on, and it was because Ryan had earlier woken and turned off the monitor! I'm not sure how long Aiden had been crying before I finally woke up. Ryan was snoozing away next to me and didn't remember turning off the monitor when I asked in the morning. This was actually the first time this happened. The other times I've been lucky enough to wake up when he was turning off the monitor.
Some of you might think..no big deal. Aiden will go back to sleep on his own after a while anyway. Well, that's not how we roll. We don't do things like that. When Ryan is awake and we talk about this the next day, he doesn't like it, either. He is just completely out of it when it happens. We're worried that something could happen where Aiden does need us and we can't hear him. Surely I would wake with enough crying. But really, I'm a deep sleeper once I'm out. I keep that monitor turned way up!
*Sigh* Not sure if there is anything much to do. The monitor is kept right at our heads, and I have been putting it closer to my side than in the middle. Of course, the last few nights, Aiden's been sleeping until 4 or later, which helps. But it's still a concern.
I've noticed Ryan has a tendency to do something in his sleep, and it's really been bothering me. Hopefully he won't mind me writing about this. This isn't a gripe session. It's a genuine concern.
So, I used to be the one to always get up with Aiden at night. He needed to nurse; not much Ryan could do, especially when Aiden was sleeping in our bed. But now Ryan gets up if Aiden wakes in the middle of the night. He goes in to try to get him back to sleep without nursing. Aiden often doesn't wake until about 4 or 5, at which point he demands to nurse, which is fine (if you knew how often he woke up until this past fall....). He had been waking a bit earlier lately b/c of colds and teething. Every now and then I would wake up when Ryan was also waking...but sometimes instead of him jumping out of bed to go to Aiden, like he was supposed to...he was turning OFF the monitor!!!
Seriously.
And he was totally unaware of what he was doing. Ok, so he wasn't really asleep. But he was mostly asleep and not awake enough to realize what was going on. One night recently, he was turning it off and I caught him and said something. Aiden had been crying before he turned the monitor off. I asked if he was going to check on Aiden, and he responded...but he's not crying now. Um, yeah...you don't hear him now because you turned the monitor off! He still wasn't getting it, so I just had to get up and check on Aiden, who actually had went back to sleep (probably after he realized nobody was coming to get him, poor thing.)
The problem is, this has happened more than once. And Ryan is completely unaware of what is going on. Sometimes I don't wake up when he gets up with him, not if there is little fussing and he goes right back to sleep after Ryan is in the nursery. Once I actually woke up after Aiden was crying...it took me a while to figure out what was going on, and it was because Ryan had earlier woken and turned off the monitor! I'm not sure how long Aiden had been crying before I finally woke up. Ryan was snoozing away next to me and didn't remember turning off the monitor when I asked in the morning. This was actually the first time this happened. The other times I've been lucky enough to wake up when he was turning off the monitor.
Some of you might think..no big deal. Aiden will go back to sleep on his own after a while anyway. Well, that's not how we roll. We don't do things like that. When Ryan is awake and we talk about this the next day, he doesn't like it, either. He is just completely out of it when it happens. We're worried that something could happen where Aiden does need us and we can't hear him. Surely I would wake with enough crying. But really, I'm a deep sleeper once I'm out. I keep that monitor turned way up!
*Sigh* Not sure if there is anything much to do. The monitor is kept right at our heads, and I have been putting it closer to my side than in the middle. Of course, the last few nights, Aiden's been sleeping until 4 or later, which helps. But it's still a concern.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Years Sleep...
I hope the sleeping patterns that have been occurring since New Year's Eve is no indication of how the rest of the year will continue... Aiden has been doing so well with sleeping, but something has been going on the past few days.
He has been sleeping through until around 4 or 5 am, nursing, and (after a while) sleeping another hour or so. During all the traveling over Christmas, he did wake more, but that's not too unusual with a baby sleeping in different places. For the past few nights, he's been waking up a few times each night, having a hard time getting back to sleep, really wanting to nurse before his normal time. We think he's teething now - seems like all of the areas where the canines will eventually be are a bit sore. And he's been a bit itchy sometimes, too. Ever since his infection a couple months ago, his eczema has been hard to get under control. Sometimes he wakes up and is clearly uncomfortable from it.
Last night, he wore his Christmas pjs that we got from Gymboree - cute red pajamas with little penguins all over them. I think we won't be buying any more pajamas from there, though, as much as we like their other clothes. The very second night he wore them, Ryan commented that he thought they bothered Aiden. I wasn't so sure and passed it off as coincidence. We're both convinced now. He had been wearing some others the past couple nights, but last night we put on the Gymboree ones...and he woke up MUCH more and was scratching all over and in places he doesn't usually scratch when wearing any of his other pjs. I think it's the way the seams are placed in these pjs. Around 2am, we changed his clothes, gave him some teething oil (and later gave him some baby motrin), nursed him...and finally had him back asleep. We thought. After I nursed and finally got Aiden back to sleep, I joined a sleeping Ryan in our bed. By this point, we had both been up most of the night; we had put Aiden in our bed at one point even. But he kept waking. Hopefully this time, around 3 or later, he was asleep for a good few hours.
Instead, he suddenly screamed bloody murder. I kid you not. Two very short and very scary screams. You've never seen two sleepy parents jump out of bed so quickly. We've never heard him sound like that. Very scary. We have no idea what it was, though. I was actually in tears after hearing him shout out like that. Shockingly, he was asleep when I got to him - all of two seconds later. But he quickly woke up and seemed pretty freaked out about something, begging for me to hold him. (Earlier, he was like this with Ryan...not wanting him to touch him and crying for me.) As scared as we were, we didn't think twice about bringing him to bed with us for the rest of the night, er, morning. Ryan fell right back to sleep (what a guy). Aiden was exhausted but having the hardest time getting to sleep. You bet I patted him, sang to him, and basically did whatever it took to make sure he felt secure and could go to sleep. And you bet I had a hard time falling asleep after all of that, too.
It was a rough night. After a couple other rough (but not AS rough) nights. Aiden is now taking a much needed nap (and a bit longer than usual - which doesn't even normally happen after a long night or two of little sleep). Ryan and I are hoping this is no indication of the sleep we will - or will not - get during 2010.
He has been sleeping through until around 4 or 5 am, nursing, and (after a while) sleeping another hour or so. During all the traveling over Christmas, he did wake more, but that's not too unusual with a baby sleeping in different places. For the past few nights, he's been waking up a few times each night, having a hard time getting back to sleep, really wanting to nurse before his normal time. We think he's teething now - seems like all of the areas where the canines will eventually be are a bit sore. And he's been a bit itchy sometimes, too. Ever since his infection a couple months ago, his eczema has been hard to get under control. Sometimes he wakes up and is clearly uncomfortable from it.
Last night, he wore his Christmas pjs that we got from Gymboree - cute red pajamas with little penguins all over them. I think we won't be buying any more pajamas from there, though, as much as we like their other clothes. The very second night he wore them, Ryan commented that he thought they bothered Aiden. I wasn't so sure and passed it off as coincidence. We're both convinced now. He had been wearing some others the past couple nights, but last night we put on the Gymboree ones...and he woke up MUCH more and was scratching all over and in places he doesn't usually scratch when wearing any of his other pjs. I think it's the way the seams are placed in these pjs. Around 2am, we changed his clothes, gave him some teething oil (and later gave him some baby motrin), nursed him...and finally had him back asleep. We thought. After I nursed and finally got Aiden back to sleep, I joined a sleeping Ryan in our bed. By this point, we had both been up most of the night; we had put Aiden in our bed at one point even. But he kept waking. Hopefully this time, around 3 or later, he was asleep for a good few hours.
Instead, he suddenly screamed bloody murder. I kid you not. Two very short and very scary screams. You've never seen two sleepy parents jump out of bed so quickly. We've never heard him sound like that. Very scary. We have no idea what it was, though. I was actually in tears after hearing him shout out like that. Shockingly, he was asleep when I got to him - all of two seconds later. But he quickly woke up and seemed pretty freaked out about something, begging for me to hold him. (Earlier, he was like this with Ryan...not wanting him to touch him and crying for me.) As scared as we were, we didn't think twice about bringing him to bed with us for the rest of the night, er, morning. Ryan fell right back to sleep (what a guy). Aiden was exhausted but having the hardest time getting to sleep. You bet I patted him, sang to him, and basically did whatever it took to make sure he felt secure and could go to sleep. And you bet I had a hard time falling asleep after all of that, too.
It was a rough night. After a couple other rough (but not AS rough) nights. Aiden is now taking a much needed nap (and a bit longer than usual - which doesn't even normally happen after a long night or two of little sleep). Ryan and I are hoping this is no indication of the sleep we will - or will not - get during 2010.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Sleep and Skin Setbacks...
So, as I mentioned, Aiden got sick and then was visited by the teething fairy again (two upper canines this time). The past two and a half nights, he has been back in our bed, after becoming inconsolable in his own bedroom. We held out for a while because we really don't want him to get back into the habit of being in our bed and nursing more often (after he's been doing SO well!!), but it couldn't be helped. The first night, he was sick and didn't nurse much like I worried...could have been the Motrin helping, though. The next night, he did nurse more than he has been. And last night, he was in his bed until about 4:30...but had been up a lot before then, so we finally gave in because WE needed some sleep, too! Hopefully he'll sleep better tonight, and we'll get back to where we were. On the flip side, he's been napping better the last couple days. Probably because he is so stinking exhausted from being up a few hours in the middle of the night the past few nights. You can even see in and around his eyes that he's lacking some much-needed sleep. :( Poor guy. It can be tough being him sometimes.
On another note, not sleep-related but skin-related... We're still having problems with his eczema flare-up. The rash is actually looking worse again in some areas, even though we're applying his lotion extra - each morning and night, and we're using the steroid cream still. We're attempting to see if the latest health/skin issues could be related to him starting to drink straight cow milk. We're taking him off all dairy for the time being to see if things clear up. After my post about him being so sick lately, a number of people have commented on facebook (my posts are exported there), and it seems a lot of other mamas and kids that we know have had milk issues that affected colds and skin problems. And we've read about these being related sometimes, so we're going to see if that's the case with Aiden. We began thinking there might be a link with the milk a little while back. Maybe there is; maybe not. It's worth a shot, though. Something has got to be the culprit...and something has got to make things better. Nothing else is different in his routines with eating (other than the milk), skin-care, laundry-care (we do cloth diaper, too, but we have been using the same detergent since we started almost a year ago), or anything else that should have any relevancy.
Have any other ideas - bring them on. We're getting desperate here.
On another note, not sleep-related but skin-related... We're still having problems with his eczema flare-up. The rash is actually looking worse again in some areas, even though we're applying his lotion extra - each morning and night, and we're using the steroid cream still. We're attempting to see if the latest health/skin issues could be related to him starting to drink straight cow milk. We're taking him off all dairy for the time being to see if things clear up. After my post about him being so sick lately, a number of people have commented on facebook (my posts are exported there), and it seems a lot of other mamas and kids that we know have had milk issues that affected colds and skin problems. And we've read about these being related sometimes, so we're going to see if that's the case with Aiden. We began thinking there might be a link with the milk a little while back. Maybe there is; maybe not. It's worth a shot, though. Something has got to be the culprit...and something has got to make things better. Nothing else is different in his routines with eating (other than the milk), skin-care, laundry-care (we do cloth diaper, too, but we have been using the same detergent since we started almost a year ago), or anything else that should have any relevancy.
Have any other ideas - bring them on. We're getting desperate here.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The Sleep Lady
So...we've been trying a new approach to teaching Aiden to sleep better at night. I haven't written about his sleep much lately. For those of you that have been reading the blog for a long time, you might remember me posting about all of his sleeping troubles earlier on and some of the things we did to try to help, mostly taking tips from the No-Cry Sleep Solution. We had some successes with that approach during different times (sometimes developmental milestones would interrupt and making things harder, as would be expected), but it's not currently working. In fact, Aiden has been having more and more difficulty getting to sleep at naptimes, and he has still been waking up at least every two hours at nighttime (after sleeping for about three hours the first stretch). Sometimes he wakes more often, even hourly, and once about four am or so hit, he was almost always waking hourly or more often, wanting to nurse a lot from that point on. I do appreciate the NCSS approach. Even though Aiden hasn't been a great sleeper, we wouldn't change much about how we worked with him. I think a lot of it is just how HE is (esp when Camden was a great sleeper, and I've tried to do things similarly with both of them). From birth, he would fall asleep after nursing for five minutes. No matter what we tried, we couldn't get him to stay awake to nurse and go to sleep on his own afterwards. I think that hurt him and set him up to want to nurse to sleep even more. We haven't been nursing him to sleep for a very long time; we've always tried to ensure he does not fall asleep that way. But I think his personality has not been very conducive to being an easy sleeper. I have changed my way of thinking about babies and sleep a lot since this little one arrived!
In case you're wondering, I've been against Cry-It-Out from the start for many reasons. I just don't think it is good for a baby to be left to cry, raising their stress hormone levels (which isn't good for many things), and reinforcing an idea that you are not responding if they cry out to you. As a child gets older and can understand more, that might change some, but I still don't feel it's right for us. Do I think CIO is necessarily going to scar a child for life? No, not really (depending). But I'm not comfortable with it, so I choose not to do it.I know many people like that approach or feel it's right for them. I'm not here to argue against it or say it's the "wrong" way. It's just not our way.
In case you're wondering, I've been against Cry-It-Out from the start for many reasons. I just don't think it is good for a baby to be left to cry, raising their stress hormone levels (which isn't good for many things), and reinforcing an idea that you are not responding if they cry out to you. As a child gets older and can understand more, that might change some, but I still don't feel it's right for us. Do I think CIO is necessarily going to scar a child for life? No, not really (depending). But I'm not comfortable with it, so I choose not to do it.I know many people like that approach or feel it's right for them. I'm not here to argue against it or say it's the "wrong" way. It's just not our way.
Well....I actually did recently try it. And it totally backfired. I tried it for two days for naptime because things were getting so difficult, and I was at the point where something had to give. And when Aiden got to the point he was really crying, not just fussing or crying a little bit, I went into his room where he CLUNG to my neck and would not let go. He was nearly impossible to get back into the bed, screaming when he saw me putting him into it and just holding me tighter. If I mentioned going bye-bye for the next few days, he would grab onto me and cry. He totally got what it meant, and he letting me know that he was NOT ok with it. I was not ok with it, either. So, for a week or so, his mattress was moved to the floor so that I could be nearby and he could still fall asleep. It worked better, but we didn't want to leave the mattress on the floor.One thing I noticed during that time, though, was how uncomfortable the crib mattress is. Have you tried laying on one of those things? Aiden has gotten used to sleeping on our tempurpedic mattress every night, so I can see how going from that to his crib might not be the most fun experience. You try it. I wouldn't want to do it. So, we're on the lookout for a crib mattress topper made from memory foam. That might help even more. (Maybe he'll sleep straight through once he has a comfy bed...who knows!?) And yes, I am aware that would not be safe for a newborn to use (there is a reason those mattresses are so firm), but it's perfectly safe for a child his age.
Enter The Sleep Lady. A friend of mine, Melissa, who feels similarly about teaching her little one to sleep (without crying), told me about this approach, and I was very interested, to say the least. Google "The Sleep Lady" (Kim West) - you'll find all kinds of wonderful things said about her! I requested the book from the library, and we've been working with Aiden based on what she recommends. Basically, you gradually make changes in how you put your little one to sleep. You start by sitting next to the crib, reassuring the child that you are nearby, touching them if needed (but not constantly or consistently). If they cry and you need to pick them up, you do it - but then put them back down when they are calm. After three days, you move the chair farther away, to the middle of the room. Three days later, even farther. Etc, etc. Eventually, you are out of the room and baby is going to sleep on their own. It's not guaranteed the baby won't cry, but he certainly isn't left to cry on his own, and you are there for reassurance. You just don't rock the baby to sleep.
Night one.... It took nearly an hour for Aiden to fall asleep. He played for a while, walked from one side of the crib to the other. When he started to really get tired, he tried to fall asleep standing up. He stood right in front of where I sat and placed his head on the crib railing, trying to sleep just like that so he could be as close as possible to me. It was rather endearing. I finally put him down after he almost fell over a couple of times (he was seriously falling asleep standing up!), and he went right to sleep. There was a little fussing, but no actual crying. That night, he woke a few times but went back to sleep on his own. He nursed once in the middle of the night. In the early morning, Ryan brought him to the bed. I had conflicting feelings about how we should handle that. On one hand, he wakes often to nurse, and we both need our sleep. We also want him to learn to sleep in his own bed all night. On the other hand, oh how we love having him there to cuddle. (Yes, Ryan, too.) And it's nice waking up with him and being able to relax in bed together for a while before having to get up (versus getting up to get him out of the crib). Anyway, Ryan brought him to the bed this first night...and I quickly decided that was our last night co-sleeping. I'm not sure if it was because he hadn't nursed much that night and was suddenly next to me, being reminded that milk was within reach...but he demanded to nurse for the next two hours, getting very angry if I stopped and unlatched him. So, that was that. From then on, he has stayed in his bed.
After that, Aiden actually got sick, so we didn't stick to moving the chair away. She even recommends staying where you are if the child is sick and not moving until they are better. And we weren't comfortable pushing something new on him while sick. But he has continued to do really well. We've had some nights where he was up at 4am and had a hard time getting back to sleep (as in up for an hour or two), but on average, he might wake once around midnight and go right back to sleep as soon as one of us shows up. He wakes to nurse around 3am and goes back to sleep after that (in his crib). We thought about stopping the night feedings altogether, but Aiden insisted he nurse once. I mean, he actually is HUNGRY, and it's obvious the way he eats. But then he will typically be back to sleep until around 6am. He is waking a bit earlier, but he is also sleeping a lot more, so he feels more rested earlier. If we get to sleeping straight through, waking an hour early won't be as big of a deal. Now, like I said, not every night is like this, but he has improved so much - and it happened immediately! He might fuss a bit some nights, but he is not actually crying at all. (If he does cry, we get him and comfort him, but that's rarely needed.)
We also haven't been doing well about staying at the "designated" spot when he wakes up during the nap or during the nighttime..but this is mostly because of him being sick and uncomfortable. Part of him being sick has to do with a really bad rash, and it's made it hard for him to sleep some nights/naps, so we have been standing by him if needed. He's still doing remarkably well, though.
We also haven't been doing well about staying at the "designated" spot when he wakes up during the nap or during the nighttime..but this is mostly because of him being sick and uncomfortable. Part of him being sick has to do with a really bad rash, and it's made it hard for him to sleep some nights/naps, so we have been standing by him if needed. He's still doing remarkably well, though.
Naptime is improving, as well. As I type this, I am sitting in a chair outside of his bedroom door...and he just layed down and went to sleep. I have been sitting here for about half an hour, but that's fine. It's not expected that he immediately goes to sleep. That's not the point. The point is for him to learn to do it on his own, as I gradually get farther from his room and eventually am not needed nearby. (Do you immediately fall asleep when your head hits the pillow? I know it takes me much longer than 30 minutes... And actually, since he's in his room now, my insomnia has kicked in, and it's becoming harder for me to get to sleep. But that's a different issue.) When I put him in bed for naptime, he'll play some. Then he usually dirties his diaper (thanks). Plays some more (with a new, clean diaper on, of course). Drops his Bunny and blankets onto the floor. Walks around - sometimes jumps around. And then goes to sleep. It's such a nice change from the frustrating routine before where we would both almost be in tears before he fell asleep! And naptime length is getting better. He will often wake after an hour but go right back to sleep when I show up. He's actually had a few naptimes that lasted about two hours with no waking. Shocking!
Another amazing improvement? Sometimes at night, while Ryan and I are still awake, we have heard him wake up over the monitor...and then put himself back to sleep. No crying or fussing at all. THAT is incredible.He's never done anything like that before.
Some things I really like about this book and the approach...
- Kim West (The Sleep Lady) is an LCSW. I like that she has a social work background and this isn't just based on her opinion or made-up nonsense.Me having a background in social work doesn't have anything to do with this, except for the fact that I get that her background actually has merit and is relevant to this topic.
- You do not have to read the entire book! You read two intro chapters and then skip to the chapter based on your child's age. Three short chapters. That's all! She has chapters for various ages up through five years, I believe.
- She encourages you to reassure your child and do what you are comfortable doing with your child.
- If the child cries and you want to pick him up, do it! You don't have to cut any of the snuggling or close parts of your routine out. You might just do things at different times so that you aren't doing too much for the child once he's in the bed.
- It's a gradual process so that the child learns you are nearby and he can still go to sleep on his own. While it is stated that there might be some crying...we have not experienced actual crying. My friend, Melissa, hasn't either.
- We have learned that Aiden can do much better than even we expected. We have been very pleasantly surprised with his abilities to go to sleep on his own.
I'll keep you updated. We've been doing this for a while, but like I said, Aiden's been sick, so we haven't been as firm in the approach as we might have been if he wasn't. I plan on posting some about what all he's been dealing with the past month of being sick soon. We have an appointment with his dermatologist today, where we hope to find out some more, and I'm waiting until after that to post. But regardless of all of that...we are beyond thrilled with the results and Aiden's improvement in getting (and staying) asleep so far. (Thanks, Melissa!!!)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!!
This Thanksgiving we stayed at home - our very first one with just the four of us. Camden was only out of school for Thursday and Friday, and the traveling just wasn't justified...two days on the road and two days visiting didn't make sense. So, we stayed at home. It was nice, though we did miss being with our families. It's normally a time where we visit and see people we see rarely, which is one reason I like Thanksgiving so much. We had a Thanksgiving lunch with all the traditional foods and just hung out all day, taking it easy. Nothing dramatic or fancy. It was an easy-going day, and Ryan and I even topped it off with a glass of wine before bed. I haven't had a sip since Thanksgiving 2007. That's what pregnancy and a very frequent nurser will do to you. ;) Since we started working with Aiden's sleeping, he is now consistently sleeping from 8pm until around 2 or 3 without nursing (meaning he does wake around midnight very briefly but goes right back to sleep). I hope to post soon about the sleep training. We're very excited about it.
Yesterday we were going to put up the Christmas decorations (no Black Friday shopping for us; no thank you!), but we realized that we finally had to give up our old tree and trade it in for a new one. I have a strict no-Christmas-until-after-Thanksgiving rule, so none of that happens until the day after. I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's the one holiday where it's all about being with the people you love for that one reason. No commercialism, no expectations with gifts... I like to give Thanksgiving the attention it deserves.
But now we're busy getting in the Christmas spirit! Ryan is getting ready to go pick up the new tree, boxes of decorations are all over the living room, Christmas music is blasting, and we're all together at home. We even have some company for the weekend. MaMaw came down to help out today... Ryan and I are going out together for our first date since Aiden was born. It will be Aiden's first time being away from both of us at the same time; his first time with a sitter. And of course, not just any sitter would do! ;) For our date, Ryan is going all out, and we're going to see The Phantom of the Opera. I haven't been in years, and Ryan has never seen it (the movie does not count - it compares in no way). I'm not sure if he purposefully got tickets to something that I would not be able to resist or get refunded at the last minute (haha!), but his plan is certainly working because we will be walking out the door without a baby shortly before 1 this afternoon. We did get afternoon tickets because Aiden still has to nurse before bedtime; hopefully if he misses an afternoon nursing, he won't be upset, but we weren't going to chance the bedtime nursing. I'll let you know how it goes! I am a bit nervous, I'll admit it, but I'm also really excited to be going to see the opera and doing something adult with my husband. :) I think Aiden knows something is up, though. As well as he has been sleeping lately, he was up almost hourly last night. Hmm...
Yesterday we were going to put up the Christmas decorations (no Black Friday shopping for us; no thank you!), but we realized that we finally had to give up our old tree and trade it in for a new one. I have a strict no-Christmas-until-after-Thanksgiving rule, so none of that happens until the day after. I LOVE Thanksgiving. It's the one holiday where it's all about being with the people you love for that one reason. No commercialism, no expectations with gifts... I like to give Thanksgiving the attention it deserves.
But now we're busy getting in the Christmas spirit! Ryan is getting ready to go pick up the new tree, boxes of decorations are all over the living room, Christmas music is blasting, and we're all together at home. We even have some company for the weekend. MaMaw came down to help out today... Ryan and I are going out together for our first date since Aiden was born. It will be Aiden's first time being away from both of us at the same time; his first time with a sitter. And of course, not just any sitter would do! ;) For our date, Ryan is going all out, and we're going to see The Phantom of the Opera. I haven't been in years, and Ryan has never seen it (the movie does not count - it compares in no way). I'm not sure if he purposefully got tickets to something that I would not be able to resist or get refunded at the last minute (haha!), but his plan is certainly working because we will be walking out the door without a baby shortly before 1 this afternoon. We did get afternoon tickets because Aiden still has to nurse before bedtime; hopefully if he misses an afternoon nursing, he won't be upset, but we weren't going to chance the bedtime nursing. I'll let you know how it goes! I am a bit nervous, I'll admit it, but I'm also really excited to be going to see the opera and doing something adult with my husband. :) I think Aiden knows something is up, though. As well as he has been sleeping lately, he was up almost hourly last night. Hmm...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Rough Week
Last week. Was rough. Hoping for a bit better this week. So far it seems to be better...
It's those stinking baby molars! You know, when Aiden got his first two teeth in and they were soooo easy and didn't cause any problems other than the massive amount of drool, I knew not to say "he's an easy teether" when people asked how he did with them. I knew it could get worse. We've had some trouble with some of the other teeth, but nothing major. Mostly Aiden might get a little clingy (but still play well for the most part) and he has a rough time going to sleep. But the molars...oh those are a different story. Kind of.
He still doesn't really get fussy when awake, though he was a bit clingy with me some last week. Not enough to call him "fussy," though. But sleep...what's that?? Night one...we got NO sleep. I mean, none. Ok, maybe 10-15 minutes here and there a couple times, but we were up for hour-long (sometimes two or more) stretches at a time. At one point, I was on my back and he was lying across my belly, with his legs dangling off one side and his head dangling off the other...and he FELL ASLEEP! No way was I going to chance waking him up by moving him. We'd been up for more than two hours at that point. He slept a solid 15-20 minutes! Not sure why that position worked, but...I'll take it. During all of this, Aiden wasn't playing or even crying a lot; he was TRYING to go to sleep. You could tell he wanted to be sleeping. I felt so badly for him. He just tossed and turned. And nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. Sometimes he fussed because there was no more milk (maybe because he had been nursing for almost two hours straight?).
Night two...we got about two hours of sleep. Night three...maybe up to 4 or 5 total.
Now before you ask if I tried this or that - YES! We did. We tried teething tablets, his teething oil (we don't do orajel - we use this other stuff that is the same thing but has natural ingredients...and yes, it does work), motrin. We pulled out all the tricks we knew. Naps weren't much better. He usually will sleep about an hour and a half. This week, naps were no longer than an hour, and that was with him waking up between 3-5 times!
Yes, it was a rough week. By day three, the sleep deprivation was getting to both of us. We were both quite cranky and clearly exhausted. I felt like crap, and I'm sure he did, as well. Funny thing is, he's back to his normal sleep schedule by now - but the teeth have still not come through!! We actually went through some tough teething days with these same molars more than a month ago (though not this bad!). They are taking their sweet time. His gums are so swollen right now, and forget trying to touch them to see if anything is poking through. I just hope they do come through soon - for his sake and a little bit for mine, too.
The next two nights...teeth were ok, but for some reason Aiden had really bad gas that kept him up. This hasn't happened in the longest time. Could it be related to the teething somehow?? (I'm serious!) He also got a really bad diaper rash - and that never happens! Bad enough that we put him in flushies so we could use the really good stuff on his bum (can't use ointments with cloth) - and I trapped him in the kitchen/dining area so he could run around with no diaper for an hour or so a few times to help clear it all up. I can't help but think all of this has to be teething-related because it's not like him.
Another funny thing...CAMDEN is also getting molars in! Actually, he says they are already in. And they hurt. But he barely complains; just mentioned it as a fact. They're his twelve-year molars - a little early.
Ok - just an update on what a terrible week some of us had last week. Feel free to sympathize with both boys (and me, if you want....). :) At least we're doing better now! I just hope we don't go through a similar routine when the baby molars finally do cut through... How long do they really have to take! You can tell they are very close with how swollen and soft his gums are (when I can force my finger in there to feel).
Anyone want to share your experiences, so we can all feel sorry for one another?
It's those stinking baby molars! You know, when Aiden got his first two teeth in and they were soooo easy and didn't cause any problems other than the massive amount of drool, I knew not to say "he's an easy teether" when people asked how he did with them. I knew it could get worse. We've had some trouble with some of the other teeth, but nothing major. Mostly Aiden might get a little clingy (but still play well for the most part) and he has a rough time going to sleep. But the molars...oh those are a different story. Kind of.
He still doesn't really get fussy when awake, though he was a bit clingy with me some last week. Not enough to call him "fussy," though. But sleep...what's that?? Night one...we got NO sleep. I mean, none. Ok, maybe 10-15 minutes here and there a couple times, but we were up for hour-long (sometimes two or more) stretches at a time. At one point, I was on my back and he was lying across my belly, with his legs dangling off one side and his head dangling off the other...and he FELL ASLEEP! No way was I going to chance waking him up by moving him. We'd been up for more than two hours at that point. He slept a solid 15-20 minutes! Not sure why that position worked, but...I'll take it. During all of this, Aiden wasn't playing or even crying a lot; he was TRYING to go to sleep. You could tell he wanted to be sleeping. I felt so badly for him. He just tossed and turned. And nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. Sometimes he fussed because there was no more milk (maybe because he had been nursing for almost two hours straight?).
Night two...we got about two hours of sleep. Night three...maybe up to 4 or 5 total.
Now before you ask if I tried this or that - YES! We did. We tried teething tablets, his teething oil (we don't do orajel - we use this other stuff that is the same thing but has natural ingredients...and yes, it does work), motrin. We pulled out all the tricks we knew. Naps weren't much better. He usually will sleep about an hour and a half. This week, naps were no longer than an hour, and that was with him waking up between 3-5 times!
Yes, it was a rough week. By day three, the sleep deprivation was getting to both of us. We were both quite cranky and clearly exhausted. I felt like crap, and I'm sure he did, as well. Funny thing is, he's back to his normal sleep schedule by now - but the teeth have still not come through!! We actually went through some tough teething days with these same molars more than a month ago (though not this bad!). They are taking their sweet time. His gums are so swollen right now, and forget trying to touch them to see if anything is poking through. I just hope they do come through soon - for his sake and a little bit for mine, too.
The next two nights...teeth were ok, but for some reason Aiden had really bad gas that kept him up. This hasn't happened in the longest time. Could it be related to the teething somehow?? (I'm serious!) He also got a really bad diaper rash - and that never happens! Bad enough that we put him in flushies so we could use the really good stuff on his bum (can't use ointments with cloth) - and I trapped him in the kitchen/dining area so he could run around with no diaper for an hour or so a few times to help clear it all up. I can't help but think all of this has to be teething-related because it's not like him.
Another funny thing...CAMDEN is also getting molars in! Actually, he says they are already in. And they hurt. But he barely complains; just mentioned it as a fact. They're his twelve-year molars - a little early.
Ok - just an update on what a terrible week some of us had last week. Feel free to sympathize with both boys (and me, if you want....). :) At least we're doing better now! I just hope we don't go through a similar routine when the baby molars finally do cut through... How long do they really have to take! You can tell they are very close with how swollen and soft his gums are (when I can force my finger in there to feel).
Anyone want to share your experiences, so we can all feel sorry for one another?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Sleep Regression??
So, I've been reading some about sleep regressions... Seems like Aiden's about due one, and I think it might be beginning. The problem I have with reading about these "sleep regressions" is that I begin to wonder if they really are regressions - or if the babies ever have good sleeping routines that stick around longer than a couple weeks at all! If the latter is the case, how can there be "regressions"?
The first regression is the four-month one. Aiden got this early - at the beginning of three months, when he was teething. From two to three months, he was sleeping ALL NIGHT. Yes, he really did this at one time! Promise. And when I say "all night," I mean he would wake up ONCE (once!!!) to nurse during the night. Apparently he did not get over this "regression" because he has not come close to that since (still waking every two hours, at least), which is why I'm having a hard time calling it a regression then...or a regression now.
Now it's supposedly about time for this nine-month regression. And how do I know he's starting this one, especially if he never seemed to get over the first one?? Because we're waking up lots more, having a hard time staying asleep, and the last few mornings, we've been up for at least 2 hours starting around 3 or 4am. (WE are waking up lots more because WE can't sleep if the baby is awake, too.) The other night, I actually had to let Aiden sleep ON ME or else he would not sleep. I know that is not the safest place for him to be, not the most comfortable for me, not the most preferred for anyone (even Aiden most of the time), but when it's all that will work - you go with what works!! He's also starting to get up on those hands and knees when he's in the light sleep or barely awake stages. Did you know that during this time, their bodies and minds are working so hard with learning to crawl, walk, etc, that babies can actually try to crawl and stand up in their sleep?! Oh geez.... When Aiden does get on his hands and knees during the night, it's almost like he can't help it. I'll try to put him back down, and he almost pushes to stay up! (And keeps popping back up after I get him down. Usually he fights to NOT get on his hands and knees, but he also might be trying to sit when he's doing this at night...) I wonder what is going through his mind at these times... Is he actually aware of what he is doing?
Since we co-sleep, we had already decided that when we move, we're leaving the mattress on the floor and not putting the bed frame together. Right now there is something in place to keep Aiden from rolling off the bed. But if he is actually crawling, that's another story. And even though he's not crawling just yet, he can get himself on his hands and knees and propel himself forward - almost like he's launching himself up into the air. No kidding. Now we're actually going to take the bed frame apart this weekend so the mattresses are on the floor. Hopefully that will be enough. We have a temperpedic mattress, so they're thicker than most - but not too much more. I'm sure Aiden will really like it once he figures out how to crawl off........... I think whenever he decides to start sleeping through and staying in his bed, we might just be ok with that. ;) Not rushing it, but still.
Now if I could just learn to start going to bed earlier... With all this waking up (for hours at a time), I'm clearly not sleeping much. I've been allowing us to "sleep in" more this week (meaning he falls back to sleep around 6 or so, and we sleep another couple hours) when he does go back to sleep. We both need it! One place I read said that if you had a good sleeper before the "regression," it might just last a month or so - but if you had a baby that had a difficult time getting back into routines and sleeping well to begin with...it could last until the baby is 14-16 months old. And then apparently there is another sleep regression around 18 months? I don't think we can call it a regression if it NEVER ENDS. *Sigh*
I will say, I never feel sorry for Ryan having to get up at 6am when I'm "sleeping in" until 8 or 9. Not at all. He's probably getting more sleep than I am!
I'll get sleep one of these days, right?
The first regression is the four-month one. Aiden got this early - at the beginning of three months, when he was teething. From two to three months, he was sleeping ALL NIGHT. Yes, he really did this at one time! Promise. And when I say "all night," I mean he would wake up ONCE (once!!!) to nurse during the night. Apparently he did not get over this "regression" because he has not come close to that since (still waking every two hours, at least), which is why I'm having a hard time calling it a regression then...or a regression now.
Now it's supposedly about time for this nine-month regression. And how do I know he's starting this one, especially if he never seemed to get over the first one?? Because we're waking up lots more, having a hard time staying asleep, and the last few mornings, we've been up for at least 2 hours starting around 3 or 4am. (WE are waking up lots more because WE can't sleep if the baby is awake, too.) The other night, I actually had to let Aiden sleep ON ME or else he would not sleep. I know that is not the safest place for him to be, not the most comfortable for me, not the most preferred for anyone (even Aiden most of the time), but when it's all that will work - you go with what works!! He's also starting to get up on those hands and knees when he's in the light sleep or barely awake stages. Did you know that during this time, their bodies and minds are working so hard with learning to crawl, walk, etc, that babies can actually try to crawl and stand up in their sleep?! Oh geez.... When Aiden does get on his hands and knees during the night, it's almost like he can't help it. I'll try to put him back down, and he almost pushes to stay up! (And keeps popping back up after I get him down. Usually he fights to NOT get on his hands and knees, but he also might be trying to sit when he's doing this at night...) I wonder what is going through his mind at these times... Is he actually aware of what he is doing?
Since we co-sleep, we had already decided that when we move, we're leaving the mattress on the floor and not putting the bed frame together. Right now there is something in place to keep Aiden from rolling off the bed. But if he is actually crawling, that's another story. And even though he's not crawling just yet, he can get himself on his hands and knees and propel himself forward - almost like he's launching himself up into the air. No kidding. Now we're actually going to take the bed frame apart this weekend so the mattresses are on the floor. Hopefully that will be enough. We have a temperpedic mattress, so they're thicker than most - but not too much more. I'm sure Aiden will really like it once he figures out how to crawl off........... I think whenever he decides to start sleeping through and staying in his bed, we might just be ok with that. ;) Not rushing it, but still.
Now if I could just learn to start going to bed earlier... With all this waking up (for hours at a time), I'm clearly not sleeping much. I've been allowing us to "sleep in" more this week (meaning he falls back to sleep around 6 or so, and we sleep another couple hours) when he does go back to sleep. We both need it! One place I read said that if you had a good sleeper before the "regression," it might just last a month or so - but if you had a baby that had a difficult time getting back into routines and sleeping well to begin with...it could last until the baby is 14-16 months old. And then apparently there is another sleep regression around 18 months? I don't think we can call it a regression if it NEVER ENDS. *Sigh*
I will say, I never feel sorry for Ryan having to get up at 6am when I'm "sleeping in" until 8 or 9. Not at all. He's probably getting more sleep than I am!
I'll get sleep one of these days, right?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Boot Camp UPDATE
It's been a while. With all the sickness going around in our family, I have found little time to blog, and when I did have the time, I wanted to just lie down on the couch and put everything else aside.
But we've still worked on those naps! We've had some success and some setbacks, but even the setbacks are steps forward compared to what naps were like prior to last week. So, I can say the result of Naptime Boot Camp has been very favorable. We're going to focus on the positive, right, folks? :)
Here is what a typical nap is now looking like for Aiden (typical meaning more than half of them):
5-10 min. Nurse
15-30 min. Naptime Routine
If I wake up before or at an hour, Mom will come in, rock me a few minutes, and try to get me back to sleep.
I wake up rather happy from my nap and will even play a bit in the crib before calling for Mom to get me.
***
We started reading Aiden a second story in the crib to get him ok with going into the crib. At first, I would have to sit him up and read the story. Then I could lie him down and read it again. Now, after doing a story on my lap, he'll reach for the crib - and I can lie him down and read one additional story before he's ready to chill in the crib a bit. I still stay in the room while he rolls around some - he is content for a while if I am still there but will get upset if I actually leave. That's fine - it's still progress! (Not considering the fact that he used to lie down on his own and fall to sleep in less than 5 minutes with me in the other room, but oh well. Right?) ;)
Rocking in this scenario means that I am standing and cradling Aiden in my arms, while swaying him a little. Once he's moved around in the bed a bit, he'll start to fuss. I pick him up, do this, and sing "You are My Sunshine" a few times, and he usually gets to a point where he is what I call "in the zone." Once he is there, I can lie him down, he'll roll right over, and...almost go to sleep. I still need to pat/rub him a bit and maybe sing a bit more. But this is soooooo much better than it was before. And he's doing a lot more on his own, so I am rather pleased (most of the time).
Another plus...he is doing better going to bed, too. He was on a big Daddy-strike there for a while, and I was having to do all the work. It was exhuasting after doing it all day, but I would have to step in. But now, he's doing great with Ryan again. I'm nursing him before Ryan changes Aiden's clothes (before, Ryan did pj's, I nursed, and then Ryan did storytime and down for bed), so maybe that helps a bit, too. I still have to go in some nights, but most of the time now, it seems, he goes down just fine for Ryan. Sometimes quicker than he does with me. Ryan put him down for a nap this weekend in no time at all, and the little guy slept two solid hours!! I told Ryan he is now in charge of weekend naps. Yes, that is what he gets! (And I deserve it, too, right?)
So...yes, we saw improvement. No, it's not perfect. We still have our days! Trust me. BUT I'm looking for improvement of any measure, not perfection. Hopefully we will continue to see improvement, as well. We've had a couple short naps the past two days, but still longer than those 30-minute naps! Baby steps; baby steps! And actually, some of these steps have been bigger than that.
Oh - another thing... The other night, when I did the sign for "milk" (squeeze together fist like you're milking a cow - most of my family shouldn't even have to think about this one), Aiden did it back!! Then yesterday, a not-so-great nap day, Aiden woke up from his first nap. While I was trying to get him back to sleep, he was fussing some and then....he made the sign all on his own!!! I said, "oh, do you want some milk?" and those eyes of his lit up and he gave me this big grin! He knew exactly what he was asking for. He's clearly been recognizing the sign for milk for a long time now, but he is just now doing it himself. How exciting!!
But we've still worked on those naps! We've had some success and some setbacks, but even the setbacks are steps forward compared to what naps were like prior to last week. So, I can say the result of Naptime Boot Camp has been very favorable. We're going to focus on the positive, right, folks? :)
Here is what a typical nap is now looking like for Aiden (typical meaning more than half of them):
5-10 min. Nurse
15-30 min. Naptime Routine
- Read story on Mom's lap
- Lie down in crib while Mom reads another story (putting the book in the crib for me to see - this helps me settle down in the crib). I will actually reach towards the crib because I know I'll get another story if I get in there!
- Roll around and "play" in crib quietly while Mom sits nearby
- If I get tired but am having a hard time getting to sleep on own (usually the case at this point), Mom will pick up, rock for a couple minutes until I'm calm, and then lie me back in the crib...pat my back a bit while singing, and I will doze off. Mom will stop patting before I close my eyes. I like for Mom to sing "You Are My Sunshine" - at first, she said she wouldn't because it's her and Camden's song, but it helps me more than any other song, and Camden doesn't seem to mind sharing it.
If I wake up before or at an hour, Mom will come in, rock me a few minutes, and try to get me back to sleep.
I wake up rather happy from my nap and will even play a bit in the crib before calling for Mom to get me.
***
We started reading Aiden a second story in the crib to get him ok with going into the crib. At first, I would have to sit him up and read the story. Then I could lie him down and read it again. Now, after doing a story on my lap, he'll reach for the crib - and I can lie him down and read one additional story before he's ready to chill in the crib a bit. I still stay in the room while he rolls around some - he is content for a while if I am still there but will get upset if I actually leave. That's fine - it's still progress! (Not considering the fact that he used to lie down on his own and fall to sleep in less than 5 minutes with me in the other room, but oh well. Right?) ;)
Rocking in this scenario means that I am standing and cradling Aiden in my arms, while swaying him a little. Once he's moved around in the bed a bit, he'll start to fuss. I pick him up, do this, and sing "You are My Sunshine" a few times, and he usually gets to a point where he is what I call "in the zone." Once he is there, I can lie him down, he'll roll right over, and...almost go to sleep. I still need to pat/rub him a bit and maybe sing a bit more. But this is soooooo much better than it was before. And he's doing a lot more on his own, so I am rather pleased (most of the time).
Another plus...he is doing better going to bed, too. He was on a big Daddy-strike there for a while, and I was having to do all the work. It was exhuasting after doing it all day, but I would have to step in. But now, he's doing great with Ryan again. I'm nursing him before Ryan changes Aiden's clothes (before, Ryan did pj's, I nursed, and then Ryan did storytime and down for bed), so maybe that helps a bit, too. I still have to go in some nights, but most of the time now, it seems, he goes down just fine for Ryan. Sometimes quicker than he does with me. Ryan put him down for a nap this weekend in no time at all, and the little guy slept two solid hours!! I told Ryan he is now in charge of weekend naps. Yes, that is what he gets! (And I deserve it, too, right?)
So...yes, we saw improvement. No, it's not perfect. We still have our days! Trust me. BUT I'm looking for improvement of any measure, not perfection. Hopefully we will continue to see improvement, as well. We've had a couple short naps the past two days, but still longer than those 30-minute naps! Baby steps; baby steps! And actually, some of these steps have been bigger than that.
Oh - another thing... The other night, when I did the sign for "milk" (squeeze together fist like you're milking a cow - most of my family shouldn't even have to think about this one), Aiden did it back!! Then yesterday, a not-so-great nap day, Aiden woke up from his first nap. While I was trying to get him back to sleep, he was fussing some and then....he made the sign all on his own!!! I said, "oh, do you want some milk?" and those eyes of his lit up and he gave me this big grin! He knew exactly what he was asking for. He's clearly been recognizing the sign for milk for a long time now, but he is just now doing it himself. How exciting!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Boot Camp Day #3
Today was Day 3 of Naptime Boot Camp (click on the link if you're just stopping by and have no idea what this is all about). I'm sure you saw how wonderful (cough!) our night last night was. The naps are actually going much better, I'm pleased to say.
YESTERDAY
Day 2, Nap 1
Took only 30 minutes to get him down for a nap, and he wasn't fussy about it, either. (I say "only," yes, but that is more than two hours like one of the naps from Day 1, now isn't it?)
He slept...for an hour and five minutes before waking! Yeah, that's right.
Took me just 15 minutes to get him back to sleep. 15 minutes! Remember how it took me TWO hours on Day 1?? I'd say this is improvement.
Then he slept for another hour and ten minutes!
Nap #1 total = 2 hours, 15 minutes
Day 2, Nap 2
Took 25 minutes to get down. I think it could have been better, but I felt rushed because Camden had soccer practice coming up soon (so much for clearing the schedule - when I started out for the week, I almost forgot about soccer practice!).
After 40 minutes of sleeping soundly, we had to wake Aiden up to go.... He was clearly not ready for it. :(
TODAY....
Day 3, Nap 1
After laying Aiden down, I remembered the plan to remove the bumper from the crib, so I did this, and he thought it was such fun. I realized he would really enjoy talking to me if I stayed in the room, so I left it - and he was just happy as could be. He fell asleep within 15 minutes.
And slept for an hour and 15 minutes before waking.
It took me 15 minutes to get him back to sleep.
He slept for another hour and ten minutes.
Nap #1 total = 2 hours, 35 minutes
Day 3, Nap 2
This one was a harder sell. The bumper-less crib wasn't so novel this time around, and Aiden just wasn't into going to sleep with it like that. It took an hour and 15 minutes to get him to sleep. But he fell asleep in the bed, not in my arms. (Same as the day before - fell asleep in the bed each time. Another improvement.)
He slept for just under an hour. I didn't attempt to get him back to sleep as it was too close to bedtime for that. (He did wake once during the nap and put himself back to sleep....)
So....verdict is......we're getting there! There is certainly improvement. He's doing better at going to sleep and is staying asleep much longer - naps from today and yesterday are at least twice the lenght than the typical naps prior to this week. I'm pleased with how it is going. Very pleased. We're not at our goal, but we are progressing very well. I won't complain.
And hopefully telling all of this will not reverse any of it. That tends to happen sometimes... Just like now... Aiden is not happily letting Ryan put him to bed like he did last night. I might have to intervene in a second. Ok, I'm going to do it now.
We'll see how tomorrow goes!
***
I'm back...just got Aiden to sleep. He was being a mama's boy. Nothing wrong with that, right? ;) He was actually being really cute. Well, first he grabbed my lips, and when I said no, he laughed. (He has a new habit of grabbing your lips or nose...REALLY grabbing.) That wasn't the cute part. The cute part was he kept asking for kisses. He was opening his mouth and saying "ahh" - and I would kiss him, and he would laugh. And he did it over and over. I think he might have been a little delirious after such little sleep last night... He kept doing it while obviously falling asleep. It was funny. And cute. He can be so much fun, even when he's not supposed to be having fun. :)
YESTERDAY
Day 2, Nap 1
Took only 30 minutes to get him down for a nap, and he wasn't fussy about it, either. (I say "only," yes, but that is more than two hours like one of the naps from Day 1, now isn't it?)
He slept...for an hour and five minutes before waking! Yeah, that's right.
Took me just 15 minutes to get him back to sleep. 15 minutes! Remember how it took me TWO hours on Day 1?? I'd say this is improvement.
Then he slept for another hour and ten minutes!
Nap #1 total = 2 hours, 15 minutes
Day 2, Nap 2
Took 25 minutes to get down. I think it could have been better, but I felt rushed because Camden had soccer practice coming up soon (so much for clearing the schedule - when I started out for the week, I almost forgot about soccer practice!).
After 40 minutes of sleeping soundly, we had to wake Aiden up to go.... He was clearly not ready for it. :(
TODAY....
Day 3, Nap 1
After laying Aiden down, I remembered the plan to remove the bumper from the crib, so I did this, and he thought it was such fun. I realized he would really enjoy talking to me if I stayed in the room, so I left it - and he was just happy as could be. He fell asleep within 15 minutes.
And slept for an hour and 15 minutes before waking.
It took me 15 minutes to get him back to sleep.
He slept for another hour and ten minutes.
Nap #1 total = 2 hours, 35 minutes
Day 3, Nap 2
This one was a harder sell. The bumper-less crib wasn't so novel this time around, and Aiden just wasn't into going to sleep with it like that. It took an hour and 15 minutes to get him to sleep. But he fell asleep in the bed, not in my arms. (Same as the day before - fell asleep in the bed each time. Another improvement.)
He slept for just under an hour. I didn't attempt to get him back to sleep as it was too close to bedtime for that. (He did wake once during the nap and put himself back to sleep....)
So....verdict is......we're getting there! There is certainly improvement. He's doing better at going to sleep and is staying asleep much longer - naps from today and yesterday are at least twice the lenght than the typical naps prior to this week. I'm pleased with how it is going. Very pleased. We're not at our goal, but we are progressing very well. I won't complain.
And hopefully telling all of this will not reverse any of it. That tends to happen sometimes... Just like now... Aiden is not happily letting Ryan put him to bed like he did last night. I might have to intervene in a second. Ok, I'm going to do it now.
We'll see how tomorrow goes!
***
I'm back...just got Aiden to sleep. He was being a mama's boy. Nothing wrong with that, right? ;) He was actually being really cute. Well, first he grabbed my lips, and when I said no, he laughed. (He has a new habit of grabbing your lips or nose...REALLY grabbing.) That wasn't the cute part. The cute part was he kept asking for kisses. He was opening his mouth and saying "ahh" - and I would kiss him, and he would laugh. And he did it over and over. I think he might have been a little delirious after such little sleep last night... He kept doing it while obviously falling asleep. It was funny. And cute. He can be so much fun, even when he's not supposed to be having fun. :)
The Good and the Bad
Last night was a mix of sleeping issues...both good (possibly) and bad....
Apparently Aiden does sleep much better on his belly. He actually let Ryan put him to bed, something he's been boycotting for the past couple weeks, and he went to sleep on his belly. That child slept from 8pm until 1:15am... Without waking! He always wakes shortly after being asleep - waiting until 10pm is usually considered good. We noticed he did lift his head a few times and he moved around quite a bit, but he went back to sleep on his own, another thing he never does. So, a little before midnight, I pumped some (because I was already way overdue for a nursing session) and we headed to bed. Yes, that late. It's become a rather bad habit of ours - one we keep saying we're going to break and have yet to do.
I was still awake or had just fallen asleep when Aiden woke up. Insomnia on top of the different feeling from not having him there with us, as usual...a mix of things keeping me awake.
The above was the "good" part of the night. (I say "good" because I'm not sure how I feel about him sleeping so long on his own like that. Yes, it's good...but at the same time, we missed him being with us and worried about him because we're used to having him next to us where we can check him and know he's ok. Don't bother telling me he's fine in his room. Logically, I do know that.)
From that point on, both Aiden and I got pretty much NO sleep. I could tell he was tired and really struggling. He was tossing and turning all night and all morning. As soon as he would get comfortable and you thought he was falling asleep, he would start all over again. And he would whine because he didn't like it. It's got to be the teeth that are popping through because he NEVER does this. At one point, we got one hour of sleep. Other than that, it was a few minutes here and there, but that is all. He did sleep for a half an hour this morning after Camden and Ryan had left, and he still wasn't ready to wake up but couldn't go back to sleep. I hate it for him. He was clearly in pain from his teeth. He cried for a while, and there wasn't anything I could do for him because I had already given him what medicine I could to help. (He's doing ok now, with the help of some more ibuprofen - playing and having a good time on the floor next to me. Chewing like crazy on all his wooden teethers or any other wooden toy - which he prefers far more than any of the other teethers.)
But man...we are BOTH tired (that might be quite an understatement). Since Friday night, we have spent HOURS at a time awake in the middle of the night. But this past night was definitely the worst - with less than two hours of sleep and most of it spread out. I blame it all on the teething. This is not normal Aiden behavior. I think we'll both be quite happy when they are all through!
And in case you are wondering...no, we don't regret not putting Aiden to sleep on his belly sooner. I'm not kicking myself and thinking he would have been sleeping longer all along. Not at all. We weren't ready for him to be on his belly, and even having him in his own room on his belly for a while last night made us a tad nervous (those bumpers are coming back down today!!). We've enjoyed having him sleeping with us. So, no regrets. Whatever he does from here on out will work just as well, but we don't wish we had done it sooner. It has worked for all of us just fine.
Apparently Aiden does sleep much better on his belly. He actually let Ryan put him to bed, something he's been boycotting for the past couple weeks, and he went to sleep on his belly. That child slept from 8pm until 1:15am... Without waking! He always wakes shortly after being asleep - waiting until 10pm is usually considered good. We noticed he did lift his head a few times and he moved around quite a bit, but he went back to sleep on his own, another thing he never does. So, a little before midnight, I pumped some (because I was already way overdue for a nursing session) and we headed to bed. Yes, that late. It's become a rather bad habit of ours - one we keep saying we're going to break and have yet to do.
I was still awake or had just fallen asleep when Aiden woke up. Insomnia on top of the different feeling from not having him there with us, as usual...a mix of things keeping me awake.
The above was the "good" part of the night. (I say "good" because I'm not sure how I feel about him sleeping so long on his own like that. Yes, it's good...but at the same time, we missed him being with us and worried about him because we're used to having him next to us where we can check him and know he's ok. Don't bother telling me he's fine in his room. Logically, I do know that.)
From that point on, both Aiden and I got pretty much NO sleep. I could tell he was tired and really struggling. He was tossing and turning all night and all morning. As soon as he would get comfortable and you thought he was falling asleep, he would start all over again. And he would whine because he didn't like it. It's got to be the teeth that are popping through because he NEVER does this. At one point, we got one hour of sleep. Other than that, it was a few minutes here and there, but that is all. He did sleep for a half an hour this morning after Camden and Ryan had left, and he still wasn't ready to wake up but couldn't go back to sleep. I hate it for him. He was clearly in pain from his teeth. He cried for a while, and there wasn't anything I could do for him because I had already given him what medicine I could to help. (He's doing ok now, with the help of some more ibuprofen - playing and having a good time on the floor next to me. Chewing like crazy on all his wooden teethers or any other wooden toy - which he prefers far more than any of the other teethers.)
But man...we are BOTH tired (that might be quite an understatement). Since Friday night, we have spent HOURS at a time awake in the middle of the night. But this past night was definitely the worst - with less than two hours of sleep and most of it spread out. I blame it all on the teething. This is not normal Aiden behavior. I think we'll both be quite happy when they are all through!
And in case you are wondering...no, we don't regret not putting Aiden to sleep on his belly sooner. I'm not kicking myself and thinking he would have been sleeping longer all along. Not at all. We weren't ready for him to be on his belly, and even having him in his own room on his belly for a while last night made us a tad nervous (those bumpers are coming back down today!!). We've enjoyed having him sleeping with us. So, no regrets. Whatever he does from here on out will work just as well, but we don't wish we had done it sooner. It has worked for all of us just fine.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Proof
Proof that Aiden did sleep today. He actually slept fairly well - much better than yesterday.
There isn't much that is sweeter than a sleeping baby.
Really, it's just an excuse to put up a cute picture of my sleeping baby.
And my mom says she was very sincere with her "good luck loving the baby to sleep" comment. :) Sarcasm would have been ok, but it's also nice to have mom on your side.
There isn't much that is sweeter than a sleeping baby.
Really, it's just an excuse to put up a cute picture of my sleeping baby.
And my mom says she was very sincere with her "good luck loving the baby to sleep" comment. :) Sarcasm would have been ok, but it's also nice to have mom on your side.
Boot Camp Update
So, yesterday was Day 1 of Boot Camp.... How did it go? I'm keeping a log, so here is how it went down...
7:30am woke up
9:25am nursed
9:30am nap routine begins (he's a quick nurser most of the time)
10:00am asleep!
10:45am wakes up....start trying to get back to sleep
12:35pm asleep! yes, it took nearly two hours. he went to sleep a few times but woke right back up
2:05pm wakes up....so the two hours it took to get him to sleep were worth it!
Nap #1 ~ 45minutes, 1hour and 30 minutes = total of 2 hours and 15 minutes (just not all at once - the goal is to close that gap and have him stay asleep the entire time) He woke up from the last part of the nap incredibly happy!
4:05pm start nap #2 routine
5:00pm asleep!
5:07pm wakes up...he was just kidding with being asleep...
5:50pm asleep!
6:30pm wakes up - we let him stay up since it was getting closer to bedtime and didn't want to mess that up
Nap #2 ~ 7 minutes, 40 minutes = total of 47 minutes (still better than just 30!) and he woke up a little cranky (but he never stays that way)
Now for me, Aiden being "cranky" means he isn't too thrilled and fusses until I get him out of the bed. This child is always so happy (well, most of the time, at least). People always comment on how happy and content he is. And it's true. But I can tell a difference when he gets a REALLY good nap. His happiness just increases. Others might not notice a difference, but Mommy sure can.
Day #2....
We slept in today. Big time. And I let it happen. Because....Aiden has a cold. We've had a rough few nights with teething and just waking up and staying up. As in two nights he stayed up for two hours at a time in the middle of the night and one night, he was in and out - mostly out - of sleep until 3:30..which meant I got no sleep until 3:30. Last night he woke some and he woke this morning early - but clearly very tired. I let him sleep as much as he wanted because he now has a cold on top of the teething. He obviously needed the extra sleep. So, it might alter our nap plans a bit, but I'm quite willing to do that when he's not feeling well.
That said, he went down for his nap at 12:10 and is still asleep at 1. He normally sleeps on his back, but he's on his belly this time. I think he would sleep better on his belly, really. But here's why we normally don't do it...
He doesn't roll from his belly to his back!! Yes, really. He rolled from back to belly at 4 months. But he's only done the other way a few times since then. He is about to turn 9 months... He'll get onto his belly when going for a nap sometimes and then gets mad. He has a harder time falling asleep that way b/c he keeps raising his head and looking around. He fights it more. And when he wants to roll over...he ends up going in circles! But this morning (after sleeping the last stint on his belly next to me), he rolled from belly to back three times in a row. I let him see my excitement, and he seemed pretty pleased. So....since he's shown me he can do it, I'm allowing the belly sleeping. We knew before that he could raise his head if he wanted (of course!), but we're that much more comfortable if he can roll back if he wants. (I still can hardly believe it's taken him this long to do it...but I think it's because he's learned to scoot and go in circles so much that when he tries to roll, that's what ends up happening instead. Oh well!)
Like I said, though, I think he'll sleep better on his belly. I've said that from the time he was born. (We didn't let him sleep on his belly except for a few times when he napped in the living room early on. We could tell he slept better but didn't want to make a habit of sleeping that way. And we certainly weren't comfortable letting him belly sleep while in another room - until he could clearly roll himself back over if needed. Some people let their babies belly sleep early on, and that's their call. We just weren't comfortable with it until now.) In fact, he has coughed quite a few times while sleeping during this nap...and NOT woken up. That's huge for him. If he coughs or sneezes in his sleep, it always means naptime is over and he's wide awake. But he's coughed a handful of times and slept right on. That makes me quite happy!
We'll see how the rest of the day goes! And in case you're wondering about all the teething and sneezing and how that affects the "boot camp" week... I thought about it, and it really doesn't have to affect it much at all. Remember, I'm not letting him cry it out. I am soothing him if he needs it. This isn't a stressful time for him (though it is for me...I spent HOURS in the nursery yesterday. HOURS, people!). So, with that in mind, boot camp continues. If it's hard on him, we'll alter our plan. This is about what's best for him. And he needs this sleep! Especially if he's getting sick. No one else is sick - and I think his waking so much lately contributed to the cold. I know that happens to me. So....let's bring on the sleep!!!
PS - My mom sent an email saying good luck with loving Aiden to sleep. I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic or not. The other day she asked what was wrong with rocking him to sleep. Again - sarcasm or not? Though it didn't sound like it was, but this other comment was in an email, so I'm not sure... Mom - want to clear it up? Are you mocking me here??? ;) Or really wishing me luck? Or what?
7:30am woke up
9:25am nursed
9:30am nap routine begins (he's a quick nurser most of the time)
10:00am asleep!
10:45am wakes up....start trying to get back to sleep
12:35pm asleep! yes, it took nearly two hours. he went to sleep a few times but woke right back up
2:05pm wakes up....so the two hours it took to get him to sleep were worth it!
Nap #1 ~ 45minutes, 1hour and 30 minutes = total of 2 hours and 15 minutes (just not all at once - the goal is to close that gap and have him stay asleep the entire time) He woke up from the last part of the nap incredibly happy!
4:05pm start nap #2 routine
5:00pm asleep!
5:07pm wakes up...he was just kidding with being asleep...
5:50pm asleep!
6:30pm wakes up - we let him stay up since it was getting closer to bedtime and didn't want to mess that up
Nap #2 ~ 7 minutes, 40 minutes = total of 47 minutes (still better than just 30!) and he woke up a little cranky (but he never stays that way)
Now for me, Aiden being "cranky" means he isn't too thrilled and fusses until I get him out of the bed. This child is always so happy (well, most of the time, at least). People always comment on how happy and content he is. And it's true. But I can tell a difference when he gets a REALLY good nap. His happiness just increases. Others might not notice a difference, but Mommy sure can.
Day #2....
We slept in today. Big time. And I let it happen. Because....Aiden has a cold. We've had a rough few nights with teething and just waking up and staying up. As in two nights he stayed up for two hours at a time in the middle of the night and one night, he was in and out - mostly out - of sleep until 3:30..which meant I got no sleep until 3:30. Last night he woke some and he woke this morning early - but clearly very tired. I let him sleep as much as he wanted because he now has a cold on top of the teething. He obviously needed the extra sleep. So, it might alter our nap plans a bit, but I'm quite willing to do that when he's not feeling well.
That said, he went down for his nap at 12:10 and is still asleep at 1. He normally sleeps on his back, but he's on his belly this time. I think he would sleep better on his belly, really. But here's why we normally don't do it...
He doesn't roll from his belly to his back!! Yes, really. He rolled from back to belly at 4 months. But he's only done the other way a few times since then. He is about to turn 9 months... He'll get onto his belly when going for a nap sometimes and then gets mad. He has a harder time falling asleep that way b/c he keeps raising his head and looking around. He fights it more. And when he wants to roll over...he ends up going in circles! But this morning (after sleeping the last stint on his belly next to me), he rolled from belly to back three times in a row. I let him see my excitement, and he seemed pretty pleased. So....since he's shown me he can do it, I'm allowing the belly sleeping. We knew before that he could raise his head if he wanted (of course!), but we're that much more comfortable if he can roll back if he wants. (I still can hardly believe it's taken him this long to do it...but I think it's because he's learned to scoot and go in circles so much that when he tries to roll, that's what ends up happening instead. Oh well!)
Like I said, though, I think he'll sleep better on his belly. I've said that from the time he was born. (We didn't let him sleep on his belly except for a few times when he napped in the living room early on. We could tell he slept better but didn't want to make a habit of sleeping that way. And we certainly weren't comfortable letting him belly sleep while in another room - until he could clearly roll himself back over if needed. Some people let their babies belly sleep early on, and that's their call. We just weren't comfortable with it until now.) In fact, he has coughed quite a few times while sleeping during this nap...and NOT woken up. That's huge for him. If he coughs or sneezes in his sleep, it always means naptime is over and he's wide awake. But he's coughed a handful of times and slept right on. That makes me quite happy!
We'll see how the rest of the day goes! And in case you're wondering about all the teething and sneezing and how that affects the "boot camp" week... I thought about it, and it really doesn't have to affect it much at all. Remember, I'm not letting him cry it out. I am soothing him if he needs it. This isn't a stressful time for him (though it is for me...I spent HOURS in the nursery yesterday. HOURS, people!). So, with that in mind, boot camp continues. If it's hard on him, we'll alter our plan. This is about what's best for him. And he needs this sleep! Especially if he's getting sick. No one else is sick - and I think his waking so much lately contributed to the cold. I know that happens to me. So....let's bring on the sleep!!!
PS - My mom sent an email saying good luck with loving Aiden to sleep. I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic or not. The other day she asked what was wrong with rocking him to sleep. Again - sarcasm or not? Though it didn't sound like it was, but this other comment was in an email, so I'm not sure... Mom - want to clear it up? Are you mocking me here??? ;) Or really wishing me luck? Or what?
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