Speaking of doing things in your sleep...

This one isn't so cute, though.

I've noticed Ryan has a tendency to do something in his sleep, and it's really been bothering me. Hopefully he won't mind me writing about this. This isn't a gripe session. It's a genuine concern.

So, I used to be the one to always get up with Aiden at night. He needed to nurse; not much Ryan could do, especially when Aiden was sleeping in our bed. But now Ryan gets up if Aiden wakes in the middle of the night. He goes in to try to get him back to sleep without nursing. Aiden often doesn't wake until about 4 or 5, at which point he demands to nurse, which is fine (if you knew how often he woke up until this past fall....). He had been waking a bit earlier lately b/c of colds and teething. Every now and then I would wake up when Ryan was also waking...but sometimes instead of him jumping out of bed to go to Aiden, like he was supposed to...he was turning OFF the monitor!!!

Seriously.

And he was totally unaware of what he was doing. Ok, so he wasn't really asleep. But he was mostly asleep and not awake enough to realize what was going on. One night recently, he was turning it off and I caught him and said something. Aiden had been crying before he turned the monitor off. I asked if he was going to check on Aiden, and he responded...but he's not crying now. Um, yeah...you don't hear him now because you turned the monitor off! He still wasn't getting it, so I just had to get up and check on Aiden, who actually had went back to sleep (probably after he realized nobody was coming to get him, poor thing.)

The problem is, this has happened more than once. And Ryan is completely unaware of what is going on. Sometimes I don't wake up when he gets up with him, not if there is little fussing and he goes right back to sleep after Ryan is in the nursery. Once I actually woke up after Aiden was crying...it took me a while to figure out what was going on, and it was because Ryan had earlier woken and turned off the monitor! I'm not sure how long Aiden had been crying before I finally woke up. Ryan was snoozing away next to me and didn't remember turning off the monitor when I asked in the morning. This was actually the first time this happened. The other times I've been lucky enough to wake up when he was turning off the monitor.

Some of you might think..no big deal. Aiden will go back to sleep on his own after a while anyway. Well, that's not how we roll. We don't do things like that. When Ryan is awake and we talk about this the next day, he doesn't like it, either. He is just completely out of it when it happens. We're worried that something could happen where Aiden does need us and we can't hear him. Surely I would wake with enough crying. But really, I'm a deep sleeper once I'm out. I keep that monitor turned way up!

*Sigh* Not sure if there is anything much to do. The monitor is kept right at our heads, and I have been putting it closer to my side than in the middle. Of course, the last few nights, Aiden's been sleeping until 4 or later, which helps. But it's still a concern.

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Ok, I KNOW I say this about so many things that Aiden does....that it's just the cutest thing ever. Here is one more to add to the list.

When I tell Aiden goodnight, he's with his daddy, brushing his teeth. Daddy has the last couple steps in the bedtime routine. So, I'll always say goodnight a last time from the steps and blow him a kiss. Over time, he's associated the word "goodnight" with blowing kisses because of this.

I always go in to check on the boys before going to bed myself. I straighten them out in their beds, make sure they're covered up, and kiss them and tell them I love them. When I went in to Aiden the other night, I whispered, "Good night, baby boy." And...in his sleep...he blew me three kisses.

Is that not adorable?! My heart about melted.

Eighteen Months

Ok, I'm finally getting around to it. To be fair, Aiden has been sick some, and then I had what we are sure was the flu. Then I got even sicker from the Tamiflu; seriously, I'd rather have the flu. I won't be taking that stuff ever again! And then I had to wait to get access to the good computer with the pictures from my hubby who is busy with tax season, so here we are halfway into month 18, and I'm finally getting posting this. Sorry!

This is kind of a long one. Been a busy month for the little guy!

Weight 23lbs
Height 31 inches

Favorites

• Hats. Aiden suddenly loves hats and asks for us to put them on him all the time. He also likes to put on his baby sunglasses, which he never liked before (even hated!).

• Puzzles. He's getting quite good, too. He has three wooden puzzles, and I think it's time to get some more. The funny thing is, he's better at the ones that are slightly more difficult... His favorite right now is one that has emergency vehicles...police car and motorcycle, fire truck, ambulance, etc...even a tow truck. When he picks a piece up to put it on the puzzle, I tell him what it is and what they do (the firetruck comes when there is a fire and the firemen help to put it out and make sure everyone is safe...that sort of thing). He even tries to say "tow truck" when he gets that piece.
• Dancing. We really need to get record this so you all can see, but Aiden has the funniest dance moves. He will play certain toys that have music and then dance to the music. When dancing to certain songs/music, he will slowly "walk" but will spread his legs as far to the sides as he can and will put his hands on his thighs as he goes. Hard to explain, and it is absolutely hilarious. We have NO idea where he got this from, but it's the way he moves! Other times he nods his head (slowly and as far down and up as he possibly can) to the music. It all depends on the type of music that is playing.
• "Again." He signs it instead of saying it, but it is his favorite word these days! After I sing a song, after we read him a book, after just about anything (but those two things in particular), he immediately signs "again."
• Singing. He loves for me to sing to him. He'll sign for me to sing whenever I'm changing his diaper or nursing him. And usually before I'm through with the song, he'll sign "again." It's like he knows the song is almost over and wants to be sure I know he wants more!
• Reading. He's always loved reading. But this child thinks every hour is story hour. Seriously. He constantly asks for us to read to him. (And of course we happily oblige! Well, usually. Sometimes it's a bit harder when I'm trying to fix dinner and he's working on the fifth or sixth story...)
• Kissing. I know, this has been mentioned the last couple months. BUT not only does he love to kiss us all the time now, he also likes to kiss his animals...AND to make them kiss each other! He'll take his two little kitty toys and put their mouths together and make the kissing sounds. A.DOR.A.BLE. Seriously. (There's a picture in February's photo album of him doing this. You have to see it!)

Oh...wait...here's a picture...

• Rubbing noses. I know I mentioned this last month, as well. But it's so cute, and he starts it himself! He'll lean forward and turn his head side to side so we're rubbing noses, and he'll say "neh, neh, neh, neh." I'm not sure where the sound came from, but this is the only time he does it. This kid really is too cute.
• Pillows. The kid loves pillows. If he joins us in bed, he has to get on Mommy's pillow, too. We finally found Camden's old toddler pillow, and he really likes sleeping with that. And he just loves getting all the couch pillows together and playing with them, especially....
• Pretending! His favorite thing to pretend is sleeping. He'll lie his head on a pillow and pretend to be sleeping. He'll close his eyes, put his finger to his lips and say "shhhh" and act like he's asleep! Too cute.
• His little tricycle toy. He likes to be pushed around on it, and he can finally move himself around on it, as well. It's now a toy that he can only play on when a parent is next to him, though...because he also figured out how to STAND on the seat (and even let go of the handlebars once while standing!!).
• Favorite foods... Tuna. Can you believe it!? But it is. I add just a tiny bit of veganaise, and he will eat as much of that stuff as we will let him! Bananas is another favorite, of course. He asks for them all the time. Blueberries. Tomatoes. Taco soup. If he's eating something he might not love, he'll ask for fruit by doing the sign for fruit - or cheese, any kind. Oh, and cinnamon! If he's not crazy about something but sees you put cinnamon on it...oh boy does he suddenly love it! Same thing goes for cheese; put some Parmesan cheese on something and it's suddenly ten times better. He also likes a lot of soups that I might not have expected...just about any vegetable soup, lentil vegetable soup even, tomato soup (and we just discovered tomato bisque...yum!). He really likes soups! I'm looking for great veggie soup recipes if anyone has any to share. I'm wanting to stock up and freeze a bunch to have on hand, and I'm looking for a variety of soups so we don't get bored with them easily.
• Kisses for his hurts. He seems to most often bump his head, and there for a while it also seemed that no matter what he hurt, he would point to his head and expect me to kiss there. But now he'll also show me his hands if he falls on them. He'll come to me and either point to where he hurts, lean his head toward me if that's what he hurt or put out his hand, palm up and give me this pouty little sound, indicating he got hurt. Then I kiss it, tell him he's all better now, and he seems to agree (usually).
• He's got a new favorite naptime/bedtime book, too. Brown Paper Teddy Bear. We ALWAYS read Guess How Much I Love You, but he discovered this book and asks for it over the other now! So....the bunny book is getting some shelf time lately.
  

Least Favorites

• Thinking Mommy is leaving (or Mommy actually leaving). We thought maybe we were lucky and missed out on this....but separation anxiety and stranger anxiety have moved in! Just a few weeks ago, this became noticeable. Even when around people he sees every now and then, Aiden has become clingy with me and shy with others. When we got his hair cut recently, he wasn't even happy with me being right next to him. When someone new is around and I am holding him, he hides his face in my shoulder. (And I have to admit, sometimes it's just too cute and quite endearing.) Now that he's older, too, he stays in the kiddie room when I go to my Mommy Bible Study meetings. He's stayed in there twice, and both times he was rather cuddly with the person watching him. He didn't cry, but he was pouty and wanted to be held. Pull at my heartstrings, why don't ya...
• Going down the stairs on his own. I think he's just very aware that he could fall. He might go down one stair, if that, and then will turn to us and reach out to be picked up.
• Snow. He's not a fan.
• Drinking from a cup by himself. A real cup, I mean, not a sippy cup. He was doing fine with it last month, but he realizes he can spill it if not careful. So, instead of worrying about spilling (which he REALLY does not like doing!), he would rather us hold the cup. Actually, he refuses to hold it himself! We'll even help him by holding it over his hands. Sometimes he'll do this, but he usually puts up a fight.
• Making/seeing others cry. A couple times this child has banged into my mouth with his head hard enough to make me cry (I mean...I had a bruise from one for a few days, so I think that indicates how hard it was), and he's done the same to Camden, as well. Once he sees us crying, he gets really upset, like he is scared.
• Being held in certain ways (for example, if you hold him out in the air like he's flying) or being set on the edge of something (like on the counter with you in front of him, maybe to wash hands or something like that)...he's very aware he could fall and doesn't like it. He gets nervous and tries to cling to whoever is holding him or next to him.
• Getting things from under (or close to being under) the table. He's bumped his head enough to have learned... If a toy is on the floor and within a few inches from being under the table, he won't get it himself. He'll stand a foot or more away and will act like he's reaching with all his might to get it, looking at you in a helpless way...b/c what he really wants is for you to get it for him.

New Developments:

• Talking. Aiden is definitely saying more words. He also talks a LOT in his own jibberish. It's funny to hear. He certainly has a lot to say sometimes, that's for sure; he's just the only one that understands what he's saying! We actually got this on tape recently, but we have a hard time getting things from the camcorder to the internet to share. Not that we don't know how...I think we need a different camcorder. Some compatibility issue that we're not sure how to fix. (Anyone well versed with these things is more than welcome to come and help out! We actually have a really nice camcorder...not sure why this should be so difficult!) I really like how he has his own ways of saying things sometimes. For example, ball is always said twice (ball ball). And when he says Hi, he waves his hand back and forth, but when he says Bye, he opens and closes his hand to wave.
• Separation anxiety/stranger anxiety. Mentioned above. He also won't talk when around some people, even if they're not "new." BUT he will tell them "bye bye" when he thinks it's time for them or us to leave! Funny how he can be so forward about that.
• Cleaning up. I mentioned this last month, but this time I mean with food. Aiden doesn't throw food often, but if he doesn't want something or is done with it...first he'll try to hand it over to us. If we don't have a hand ready to take it immediately, he tosses it. So...when that happens and the meal is over, he has to help clean it up and throw it in the garbage. We've noticed lately that even if he just drops something, when we take him out of his high chair and set him on the ground, he'll go on and pick it up and throw it away! Without us asking! We don't make him clean up those messes...that's just part of him being a toddler, so we take care of it ourselves. We just expect him to help when he does it on purpose. But it is extra adorable when he just notices the food on his own and goes to clean up himself!
• Turning his toys on. He has figured out where the on/off switches are, which is fine by us. But he's also figured out how to turn on things such as the dishwasher...not as fine by us. And he tends to turn the tv on and off when he sees fit (but will also undo whichever when you ask him).
• Walking backwards. He just started doing it one day, out of nowhere. Walked across the room backwards...until he walked into some toys. He'll need to learn to turn his head and see if there are things in the way...
• Asking for help without whining!! I think he's figured out he doesn't always have to fuss when he can't get something just right. He'll often just immediately do the sign for help instead of fussing or whining. Boy does that make things easier on everyone! On the occasion that he does start to whine, if we ask if he needs help, he stops whining and signs "help"...and that's that. Cuts down on a lot of frustration for all of us! (We love signing!!!)
• Flossing. Yes, Aiden flosses now. Well...WE floss his teeth, but he is very agreeable about it. The dentist keeps saying we don't need to floss but to start flossing when teeth touch. Well, he has teeth that touch! One day I noticed some apple peel stuck in between two teeth. If that can happen, it's time to start flossing. Better to start sooner than later anyway, we think.

Showing you his Valentine's shirt.

I was going to try to get some better pictures, but I never got back around to it. After taking THESE pictures, Aiden got sick. And then I did.... And then it was a week and a half late. Blah, blah. These pictures will do after all. Haha.

Test Results

As many of you know, and some of you might not, we have been trying to find out if Aiden has Celiac disease. He has been having symptoms since this fall. It has not been a fun time, and we've been trying to figure out what could be the cause for all the problems. We took him off gluten in January for three weeks, and his symptoms basically went away. We put him back on gluten, and they seemed to return. The hard part was getting him to consume gluten again, though. He didn't seem to want much of the foods that had it, and it was more of a challenge than we expected. We got a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist at Duke Children's Hospital and saw him last week. We were surprised he decided to go on with testing, as Aiden hadn't been back on gluten for long. If you aren't familiar with what we've been going through, here's some info on the blog that we posted recently: http://daisyryanadkins.blogspot.com/2010/02/overwhelmed.html and http://daisyryanadkins.blogspot.com/2010/02/testing-testing.html

I know many of you have been wondering about Aiden's test results. We finally got the results from the last one on Friday. The tests all came back negative for Celiac. You might think we would be breathing a sigh of relief, but that's not what we're doing because it means our search is not over. The dr says he is fairly confident that we did not test too soon. I'm a bit skeptical but trying not to question too much. Aiden had only been on gluten for 12 days, and we had a really hard time getting him to consume it after being off of it. It only takes a little bit to count, but some days it was very little. And now (after the fact), everything we're reading says you shouldn't go gluten-free before testing b/c it can skew results... Anyway, we talked some with the dr about what this means. Even if he does not have full blown Celiac, he could still have a gluten sensitivity or even a wheat allergy. For those not familiar with Celiac, it is not an allergy; it is an autoimmune disease. Celiac, gluten sensitivity, and a wheat allergy are all quite different from each other. We definitely think SOMETHING is going on in relation to gluten because there is a very obvious difference in his symptoms when he is eating gluten and when he is not. Anytime he eats a decent amount of gluten, the day or two that follows will include the symptoms returning. So, after consulting with the Ped GI, we are going to go back to a gluten-free diet for a number of MONTHS. This will ensure it is completely out of his system for a good while. After so many months, probably six, we will begin introducing gluten again. If the symptoms return, that could mean he has a gluten sensitivity. We might end up testing for celiac again...just to be sure...but only if the symtpoms return and after he has been back on gluten for a number of months again. We can test for a wheat allergy if we want, but that involves going to the allergist again. We already have a follow-up visit scheduled in the fall, so we'll wait until then. We're already keeping Aiden off of some other common allergens and are waiting to test for those, but the dr might wait another year just because of Aiden's young age. Those tests can be false easily, especially with really young children. So, we'll wait to see what that dr says. I think we're more convinced this is a gluten issue and not a wheat allergy, though.

During Aiden's time off of gluten, the entire family will actually be going gluten free. I have a gluten sensitivity myself. And this is actually very common, more than you might think. Also, if Aiden DID somehow have Celiac, it often runs in the family. So, there are many reasons to have the whole family on this diet. For one thing, it just makes it easier! We won't have to make special things just for Aiden, and we won't have to worry about him accidentally getting something he shouldn't because EVERYTHING will be gluten free. Plus, this gives us a chance to see if anybody else happens to feel better on this diet. Symptoms can be very varried, or you may not even notice them - or may attribute them to something else, which is common. So, since we are doing this with him, it doesn't hurt for the rest of us to join in. (Ryan's just realized this means no cereal bars, which he usually eats at work, and Camden is not happy this means no Cream of Wheat...so we'll have to find some good substitutes and work on learning which flours, etc, we can use when cooking... And time to start scrutinizing food labels! You would be surprised at how many things contain gluten.)

This also means that when we travel, if we get to do so during this time, we'll have to really watch what we're eating when eating out or visiting others. This will be the biggest challenge but not impossible. :) And no worries about this being unhealthy. A gluten-free diet is perfectly healthy. We will make sure we get all the nutrients we need. A diet with gluten is not necessary in the least and will certainly not hurt anyone. Hopefully, though, we can figure out what is going on sooner rather than later. This will take longer than we would like, but it's definitely worth it. And we definitely all agree that there is some correlation between these foods and Aiden's symptoms.

Thanks to all of you that have been so supportive as we've been wading through all of this. It's been frustrating and exhausting at times; we feel like it's consumed us as it seems like just about all we think about is his food intake and symptoms, keeping track of every little thing and analizying all of it. And it's just been no fun for Aiden (or us) when his symptoms do appear. We had been hoping for a clear answer, but it seems like we won't quite have that for a while. Either way, hopefully we're on the way to finding out what is going on. We do appreciate all the support, the concerns, the prayers, everything.

What I wish

If I could have a wish right now, it would be for EVERYONE in our home to be healthy for at least a week. No, two weeks.

Sound silly? Not if you have been around us anytime during 2010. What? You haven't? Well, that's probably because we've been TOO SICK to have you over.

Actually, we haven't been sick in the contagious sense the entire time. Well, Aiden and I spent a week with some really bad colds and sore throats. That started Jan 13th. By the way, I hate how "cold" sounds so harmless and simple, but, man, it can knock you out and make you miserable if you get a really bad cold. They need a harsher sounding name for that... Since then, I've been battling a sinus infection. I finally went to the dr for that a week ago, but that was because I got laryngitis and completely lost my voice and they said I had to come in for "anything involving the throat." So, I got some antibiotics for the infection, but nothing for the laryngitis since that's just due to the inflammation and all. I would have had some cough meds to help calm that, which would also have let me sleep some, but I'm still nursing so that was a no go. Due to that, though the infection was going away, I got absolutely NO SLEEP because of all the coughing and congestion.

Add onto that with Aiden waking from teething. Fun times.

Then Ryan gets a cold.

Then he and I start to feel better. Not quite there yet, but we were on our way. And Aiden gets sick again.

This is our life. Welcome.

Aiden woke up yesterday with a fever. Threw up a couple times when he tried to eat, but mostly he refused to eat. (It's times like this I'm glad he still nurses or else I might worry a bit more.) He spent the day lying around, taking extra naps, and wanting his mommy right next to him. While he looked completely pitiful, it was so endearing. A mama can't help but love being needed in such a way every now and then. I knew we were in for a rough night, too, when he kept waking and by midnight kept reaching for the door, indicating he wanted to go to our bed...(which he did, of course!). But did I really mind? Anything for that little guy.

He's fine today. Fever is gone, and he's back to normal.

But now my sinus infection seems to be returning. Oh, that makes me so happy. I've only been fighting it for a month now. While I'm glad it's nothing contagious, which means I don't have to worry about getting anyone else sick from what I have, I still would like to FEEL well myself.

Camden seems to be the only one all of this isn't touching. How is that?! I want to know. Because I want it for the rest of us! 2010 has not been the best year so far for some of us.... Of course, if I could get some sleep and maybe get some stress relief, that might do it for me. I'm quite aware of that.

Seriously, I would just love for a couple weeks with everyone perfectly healthy. Is that really too much to ask?? I would think not, but....

Testing, testing...

Ok, so when I wrote the last post about all this gluten stuff with Aiden, we were waiting on a referral to the pediatric gastroenterologist at Duke Children's Hospital. I called our family dr's office on Monday, knowing our provider was not in that day and wouldn't see the request until Tuesday. So, it came as quite a surprise when I got a phone call at 8am on Tuesday morning, before the office was technically open. We already had an appointment with the specialist THAT THURSDAY...two days away! That never happens...getting in that quickly. We even got the specific ped GI that we requested (per a recommendation from a friend who works with these providers, saying this guy was "the best" of the department). I was shocked. But also a bit concerned...did we really need to go in just yet? I wanted to talk with the nurse or doctor before actually going in for an appointment.

And...surprise again! I got to speak with a nurse that same day. The visit wouldn't be pointless even if testing was put off, she said. She also relieved me quite a bit when she said Aiden only needed to consume the equivalent of a graham cracker a day to get enough gluten for accurate test results. Aiden would at least eat some cheerios each day, and that's what I gave him to snack on when we were running around, so he should have gotten enough. She also said some doctors would test after being on gluten for two weeks, some waited four.

Thursday rolled around, and we got another call. Instead of waiting until the afternoon, could we come in as soon as possible? Some spots had opened up. So...off we went as soon as I got Camden off to school, picking up Ryan on the way. We left the house at 10am. We returned home that afternoon after 3pm. We were in the exam room for three hours, at least. The only stop was a very quick lunch after leaving the hospital. It was a long day, needless to say.

But that's to be expected there. We always have to wait a long time when we see a specialist at Duke. The upside...when it's our turn, the doctor gives us plenty of time...taking a good history, getting all the facts and hearing us out. You may spend time waiting, but that's a small price for great care. Plus, this time, during our wait, my friend Melissa stopped by to chat with us, too.

So....after talking with the doctor for quite a while and filling him in on...basically everything Aiden has experienced since he was born (seriously, they do a good job), he told us what we kind of knew. This could be celiac. Could be a gluten sensitivity. Could be a wheat allergy. All of those are completely different from each other. Also...this could be something else altogether. We explained how we were concerned about Aiden's slow growth (going from above the 75th%tile at birth to the 30th at one year and now in the 14th at 18 months...all the while being a VERY good eater), his tendency to get sick easily and stay sick for a long time (despite all the protective factors), and all the other "symptoms" that could mean something or could mean nothing at all. He agreed. And while he said the slow growth was something to keep an eye on, he wasn't too concerned because at least Aiden wasn't LOSING weight; it's possible he's also still "settling into" his normal growth pattern (is this something they're all supposed to say to help keep parents from worrying too much? Ha.). Anyway, after all this talking and whatnot, he decides to go on with the blood work. I was a bit hesitant because Aiden had only been "on" gluten for 12 days at that point, but the doctor thought it was fine, especially with Aiden being younger. And hey...going out there is not a quick trip (or cheap), so we went on with it.

Aiden was quite the trooper. They took SEVEN vials of blood. Wow. We didn't expect that. Aiden did cry at first, but after a couple vials, he was fine...just put his head up against Mama and watched where the blood was being removed from his arm. (I wonder how this will affect his sudden separation and stranger anxiety that he has been exhibiting. This certainly reinforces that strangers aren't necessarily the nicest people out there, huh?) He did pretty well, though. He later cried more after whacking his face into the corner of my glasses...

So now...now we wait. The results should be in within the next few days. If the results are positive for celiac, we go in for a biopsy to confirm. I'm really trying not to even think about that yet. We didn't even ask about the process when we were talking with the doctor. No point.

But if the results are negative... I'm not sure what that means. It means this might be ruled out. (But we will worry, of course, that they tested too soon.) There are many other possibilities, if we get negative results, though. That's not something we're really excited to think about, either.

I'm trying to just tell myself...whatever will be, will be. It doesn't help to wonder and worry. It was easier yesterday. Harder today. Today Aiden showed more symptoms, especially after he ate some more wheat yesterday than he had been. I think we've figured out that Aiden doesn't really care for white bread. He's always eaten wheat bread. We got a fabulous bread machine for Christmas and have been using that instead of buying bread...but we've been making white bread because in order to make wheat, we would need to buy extra gluten to use with it. But we don't want to buy all these extra ingredients and then find out that he does have celiac and needs to avoid them. We happened to buy a loaf of wheat bread the other day, and Aiden suddenly likes bread again. So funny. Camden was the same way. I always gave him wheat bread, and the first time he was given white bread at someone's house, he looked at it like it was the strangest thing ever. Ok..off topic. Anyway, this explains why he hasn't been wanting much bread...the bread, biscuits, ect have all been white.

I'm more worried about the results being accurate and trusting that they are accurate than anything else. Feel free to pray that they are accurate and that we can feel at ease with what we are told. Right now, that's actually our biggest concern. Thank you for all the kind comments and all the prayers. We really do appreciate it all. It helps having that support and knowing so many people care about our little guy.

Overwhelmed

It's been a while, I know. I do plan on writing about more than, as a friend would call it, Aiden's Red Chair posts. But I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. I have mentioned a couple times that we are having some problems still with Aiden and are looking into other food issues. It seems that has consumed my life these days. We were trying to keep it under wraps until we knew more, just telling close family and maybe a couple friends. I've posted about it just a little lately on facebook...more b/c I needed some support after feeling so defeated here and there.

Long story short...we are looking into problems with gluten. Does Aiden have celiac disease? We're not 100% sure, but it does look to be very likely. Ok, we're pretty sure he does. I like to KNOW things and have a hard time saying it is so without hard facts to back me up (um...with certain things..I am not like that with my faith, but with things like medical issues, yes, I am). We have not had the blood work done yet. This is where I am beginning to feel overwhelmed, really. I read up on this before taking him off the gluten, and I do know that he needs to be ON gluten in order for the tests to be accurate. Actually, I was going to go off gluten myself but did the blood work for me first. BUT I didn't want to do anything unnecessary with Aiden...why subject him to a needle and a bunch of blood being extracted just b/c of a hunch. (I know, I know...mother's intuition...we need to learn to rely on it a bit more, but I wasn't so sure this was the problem. We had already tried dairy with no changes; this was just the next step.) Anyway, so we went and took him off gluten and even mentioned this to our family doctor.

I'm skipping a lot of details here, but you'll get the gist. I'm battling some nasty sinus pain, so I'm just getting out what I feel I need to for the moment. This is mostly about me getting things off my chest. The informative stuff will come later when we know more.

So, off gluten...the symptoms went away. Completely. It was rather exciting. And I know some people who know what gluten is might think it's a difficult diet, to be gluten-free...but it really isn't for us. We don't eat many processed foods, and there are gluten-free alternatives to things like crackers and bread. It's not exactly the same, but still. And if we find out this is it for sure, there will be adjustments for learning to bake and cook with other types of flours, but we'll figure it out. Aiden eats mostly whole foods anyway (all of us do, not just him), so it really wasn't too difficult at all. It might sound strange, but I would get so excited when I would change his diaper and see a "normal" poopy diaper! Before, he was having 4-5 explosive bowel movements a day (I mean filling the ENTIRE diaper)...very soft ("wet," not just soft...but not quite diarrhea). It seemed like everything he ate was just going right through him. And the foods he eats are, like I said, mostly whole foods and things that should "bulk up" a diaper. These diapers should not be happening and are not what one would call normal for this age. But off gluten...things were as one would expect.

Anyway, after three weeks, time to go back ON gluten. If the symptoms reappear, we have our answer. It's a lot that the symptoms went away after removing gluten, but you also want to see if they come back with the food back in the diet. After a few days, we started to see the symptoms return. Not fun to see, esp b/c these diapers bring terrible, terrible rashes, regardless of treatment. But reassuring nonetheless. I mean, this would indicate we have our answer. Right? Well, the problem is...we aren't seeing the symptoms consistently. He'll have a day with them, a day without, etc. Why? Because the little stinker doesn't want to eat the stuff with gluten!!! I did not foresee such a problem. He will not eat bread, biscuits... He will eat crackers some but not many like he used to. I've made muffins, and he liked those some. He loves pasta, too, but we have to give him gluten-free brands b/c they're the only ones that can say for sure their pasta is made in an egg-free facility. So, we're finding it more difficult to get gluten into his diet than it was to get it out! Who woulda thought?!

The problem with this?? Testing. As my mom said, it looks like we have our answer, regardless of testing. But, as I reminded her...this is ME we're talking about. I want to KNOW. I have this need to know this is the right diagnosis. Plus, I don't want to have to restrict his diet in such extreme ways if it's not necessary. Gluten-free is not bad for you at all - quite the opposite - but there will be instances it will be difficult and limiting. I have talked some with my friend who is a pediatric dietitian, and she agrees it really sounds like celiac, but testing will tell us for sure. Yet, how can we test when he won't eat the darn stuff?! She's recommended going to a pediatric GI, and another friend has recommended one that works at the Duke Children's Hospital, which is where we would be sent. We're waiting on our doctor to refer us so we can get in to meet with this guy or even just ask a few questions over the phone. We're hoping he can give us some instruction or advice. Here I am breaking all my food rules and doing everything I can to get this child to eat gluten, and it's becoming terribly difficult. I hate doing it...b/c if he does have celiac, the foods are actually making him less healthy, but if we are to test for this, he has to be consuming gluten. (And I keep warning him, once this is figured out, the rules are back ON. Ha.)

This really is driving me absolutel crazy. On one hand, we weren't sure enough to do testing first and both felt it was better to try the elimination diet before subjecting Aiden to unnecessary testing. But now, I'm totally regretting that decision because we don't know how possible testing will be because of his current diet. I'm not even sure how long he needs to be consuming gluten, but I know a few days or couple weeks (after being off it completely for three weeks) isn't enough. I'm doing a bit of beating myself up over all of it because perhaps we could have had our answer by now and been on our way. Instead, I'm consumed by all of this...watching every little thing he eats, trying to make him eat what he doesn't want (and you know what he wants to eat...things like peas and carrots and fruit...wonderful things...just not breads and things with gluten!!), writing down every thing he eats, writing down when he poops, how much, all the details around it (these are records my friend told me to keep...to show the doctor and for her to look over if gluten isn't the culprit). Almost every thought I have is about this. On the days he's not showing symptoms, I'm checking his diaper nonstop. When he does, we're watching for the rash to return and questioning what to put on it this time and why it keeps doing this. Aiden is constantly pulling on his pants and scratching...even when the rash has taken a break. Diaper changes are very difficult lately. It's frustrating for all of us. And all of the symptoms and problems have been going on for MONTHS, so this is not something new. It is something we are ready to have the answers to so we can move on and get past it already.

Any suggestions?? Any ideas for ways to get him eating gluten? We welcome them. We also welcome good thoughts and prayers. Hopefully we'll have some actual news soon...whatever the answer is, we hope to know it soon.

If you haven't already, please visit Gwenn's blog and read this post.

This breaks my heart in so many ways.

This is ONE story. Out of the (way too) many.

Help in Haiti

By now we have all heard the news about the earthquake in Haiti. We've seen the news footage, seen pictures of the devastation, have heard about the rising death toll. It is beyond tragic.

This hits close to home for us, as we have some friends from church that are missionaries in Jacmel, Haiti, just a very short distance (less than 40 miles) from Port-au-Prince. Gwenn and Nick and their family have been in Haiti just under a year, joining Joy in Hope, and are houseparents to orphaned children.

Without dragging on and on about what is going on (we all know about it by now...if you're somehow out of the loop, just go to CNN.com), I want to quickly post some links about the situation and how we can all help. Help is necessary. Please do not just sit back and hope things get better for these people soon. Lots of people are praying. And yes, do pray. And keep praying, as the worst is surely not over with. But also be active. If you donate only a few bucks, it will make a difference. A few dollars to us in the U.S. can do a heck of a lot more in Haiti.

Here is a CNN.com article that was recently posted. The article focuses on an interview with Gwenn and shows some of the photos she has taken.

Find Gwenn on facebook to view her pictures. Or here are links to some of the albums she has posted. When viewing these, please keep in mind how real this is. It's easy to see a photo and romanticize it or to not take it too seriously. But this is real, folks. These were taken just yesterday, last night, today... These are on facebook, but you do not need a facebook account to view them.

Earthquake pictures added just yesterday.
Pictures of the Mangine family overnight.
Pictures taken today.

Joy in Hope page on facebook. They're showing updates and have information on how you can donate.
Donate via Joy in Hope, a 501(c)3 non profit organization... Click here and select "Immediate Needs" (or mail checks to JIH - Earthquake, 2731 NC Hwy 55 #251, Cary, NC 27519). Donations are being used to help provide much needed food and supplies to those affected by the quake.

The Mangine family blog. Gwenn is updating when they can get internet connection. She is posting about the conditions, what they are doing there, and ways that you can help. Please visit and read. There are some very touching and personal stories, not just about their family but about others they have come across.

If you want to know of other ways to donate, the list is pretty lengthy.
Here is a list from the Huffington Post and what each organization is doing to help.
Tips on giving safely and another list of possible organizations to which you can donate can be found here.

However you give and whatever you give, please just GIVE. And keep praying.

Seventeen Months

Favorites

• Crackers. This child is having a love affair with crackers. He adores them. He gets way too excited over them. If he sees a box that is remotely similar to a cracker box, he signs cracker very enthusiastically and expects you to deliver the goods. I also FINALLY discovered some cheese crackers that Aiden can eat (so far, all of them have that dreaded phrase "made in a facility that also uses eggs" or the company won't tell you they are egg-free but will give you a crappy, generic response that tells you that they don't really care about disclosing the specific allergy information needed, leading me to not trust them nor buy their products, such as Peppridge Farm, the makers of goldfish crackers).
• Dipping. This is a new thing. New Years Eve, we had steak for dinner. Aiden didn't care too much for his until we gave him some steak sauce to dip with; then he ate it up! Every now and then (as in he's eaten it maybe two or three times...), we give him a cut up hot dog (organic, no nitrates/nitrites, no antibiotics...the healthiest kind possible). We recently gave him some ketchup with it, and boy was that a hit (organic ketchup, of course...the other stuff has HFCS in it; no thanks!!). He picked up the idea of dipping rather quickly and thinks it's a lot of fun. He will try to dip anything just about these days, such as his banana and cereal in his yogurt. Sometimes I give him a big carrot stick at lunch or snack (because it's big enough he won't choke on it and it's a great teether!), and if he also has yogurt...the carrot definitely goes in the yogurt. Why not? He pretty much dips anything he can.
• Mommy singing. He's always liked this, but now he can let me know he likes it. I'll sing a song and he'll sign "again" over...and over...and over. I never realized he liked it so much. Sometimes this happens during those nighttime wakings; those times aren't as fun for me.
• ABCs and his Fridge Phonics Magnetic Alphabet Set. Aiden got these for Christmas and loves them. He'll put the letters in over and over. The magnet sings a song with each letter, or you can push a button for it to sing the alphabet song. We've noticed Aiden trying to sing the song on his own, too. Although he doesn't have the letters down yet, you can tell that's what he is singing. (And of course, this is another favorite he likes Mom to sing.)
• Turning the TV on and off, changing the volume and channels, etc, by pushing the buttons on the TV. It took him longer to figure this out than I expected, but now that he knows... Fun times.
• Rubbing noses. He'll lean forward so his nose is just touching yours and...well, he actually expects you to do the "rubbing," but he gets quite the kick out of it.
• Kissing. He kisses just perfectly now. Or he CAN, at least. He doesn't always do it, but he'll kiss and make the smacking noise at the same time. He'll lean in, sometimes his mouth is open and he'll close it while he's kissing you (sometimes closing it on your lips), and *smack*...followed by him clapping because I clap when he does it right. Sometimes he won't do the smack and will then clap himself, but I tell him that doesn't count. And sometimes he'll even add the "mmmmm" when he's kissing. Very cute stuff.
• Pound Puppies and Pound Pur-r-ries. While at my mom's over Christmas, Aiden found one of the kitties in my old room. I then found the rest of the stash, and Aiden loves, loves them. Since they used to be mine, I brought them home for him, washed them up, and he's having a blast. (Surely that was ok, mom, right? Or did you want them to keep collecting dust at your place?) ;)
• Smoothies!! I make smoothies a lot; they're a great, healthy breakfast item here in our home. I make them with frozen fruits, bananas, oj, splash of lime, ground flaxseed... Sometimes I add in yogurt (if not, I throw in some probiotics) or soy milk. We just do whatever floats our boat that day. Camden's crazy for them, and now so is Aiden. He'll stand there while I blend them and start getting impatient. He gets so excited he's literally shaking and can barely stand it while he waits for me to pour his into his sippy cup.

Least Favorites

• Poopy diapers. This is a post for another time, but we've been having some problems for a couple months now, ever since that infection he had back in the fall. Let's just say that this kid poops way too much and in a way that we think is not quite right and his bottom does not appreciate it. There's more to it, and we'll get into all that another time. We're looking into other food issues and will post more once we know more.
• Having his temperature taken. We still use a rectal thermometer. He's not too much of a fan.
• Another thing that's not a favorite for the rest of us...he's definitely learning how to let you know he doesn't like something. He can get pretty loud when he's protesting. I know this will continue, though...

New Developments

• Nodding/shaking his head. He mostly nods when he wants to say yes, but he'll shake his head "no" every now and then, too. It's so cute to see him nodding. He has been doing that for a while, but this past month, he really has gotten into it. It's also nice when you can ask a yes/no question...and get an answer!
  
• Feeding himself. Well, he's been doing this for quite a while, but he's really improving on using a spoon and cup. We even had vegetable soup the other night, and he was feeding that to himself...scooping the soup with the spoon and keeping it level while he brought it to his mouth. He also has these cute little glasses that are just his size (they belonged to Grandma Strode, who passed away this past fall), and he's doing so well at drinking from them without spilling. He's so careful as he brings it to his lips and sips from it.
• Talking more. We still haven't gotten that explosion we're expecting, but he definitely is saying more words. He even tries to say some longer words, such as banana. It often comes out as "nuh-nana." He's created a name for mama's milk now...It's almost like he's combined "milk" and "mama." He calls it "me-me" (as in saying me twice).
  
• Sleep. There's good and bad. He was doing so well before we traveled over Christmas. While traveling, he thought it was a good idea to wake up a lot more at night and to try to stay awake once the clock hit 4 am or so. The good? Normally when we drive up to see family, even on the longer trips where we're in the car for about 12 hours, Aiden sleeps for an hour. Tops. He's not a happy camper when he gets tired again later but won't sleep more. For some reason, he slept three hours exactly on the drive up (which was especially nice since it was just him, Mommy, and Camden). On the way back home, he also slept for three hours (well, ten minutes shy...Daddy decided to speak, waking him up). That was a miracle! I'm not sure what has happened with nighttime sleeping, though. Once back home, he did ok for a couple nights, but on New Years Eve, he woke up LOTS. I worried that meant something about sleeping this year... Since then, it hasn't been that great. I'm hoping it's just due to the fact that he's working on all four canines coming through. We'll see.
• Aiden can count now...kind of. If you ask him to show you one, he'll hold up one finger. If you ask him how old he is, he'll hold up "one." And he likes for us to count small amounts of things for him, as well (or any amount, as long as we make sure it's not boring).
• Cleaning!! Aiden can clean up now - or help, at least. He actually was doing this last month, but he's doing much better. The other day he was playing in my bedroom while I got ready; he has a basket with some toys in there, so I asked him to put the books back in the basket. He not only picked up the few books right next to it, but then he walked across the room and got a book I hadn't even seen! I was impressed. He helps with the daily clean-ups...with all those toys and books he drags out all day long. When we sing the "clean-up" song, he even asks me to keep singing it. I'm sure that won't last forever!
• I think we've hit a growth spurt. We've been wondering, the way this kid has been eating recently. He'll eat two or three big bowls of something like taco soup and still want fruit or something else to eat... He definitely can EAT. I've noticed lately that his jeans are getting a bit snug on his belly and I don't have to roll them as much on the bottoms (some not at all). So, he's growing in both ways! We might have to pay a visit to Gymboree or some of our other favorites sooner than we had expected! We are stocked up on clothes for the summer, but that doesn't help us now... I asked him to have his growth spurts between seasons, but I don't think he heard me.

Ok...I think that's enough for now. ;)

My kid and potatoes

Camden has never been a fan of potatoes. Believe it or not. I've tried all kinds...baked, twice baked, mashed (he hated those the most), fried (as in fried potatoes, not french fries...though he normally doesn't eat many french fries, either), you name it. Come on, what kid doesn't like mashed potatoes?! MY KID.

Last year, he decided he would eat baked potatoes if he could smother them in salsa. Whatever it takes. And it's healthier than what most of us would put on our baked potatoes, right? And this year, he realized he likes (really likes) roasted potatoes.

And he loves these.

And tonight I made this potato soup. He kept telling me how good it was, which I thought was kind of funny, as it's not all that far off from mashed potatoes...thinner, though. (He always says he can't stand the consistency of mashed potatoes. And sweet potatoes. And butternut squash. So, yeah, I think he really has something against that consistency.) We let him serve himself, so after his first small bowl, he got seconds...a bigger serving this time. And even told me thank you for making such a great dinner.

This kid really surprises me sometimes. I'm pretty sure even he was surprised tonight.

New Years Sleep...

I hope the sleeping patterns that have been occurring since New Year's Eve is no indication of how the rest of the year will continue... Aiden has been doing so well with sleeping, but something has been going on the past few days.

He has been sleeping through until around 4 or 5 am, nursing, and (after a while) sleeping another hour or so. During all the traveling over Christmas, he did wake more, but that's not too unusual with a baby sleeping in different places. For the past few nights, he's been waking up a few times each night, having a hard time getting back to sleep, really wanting to nurse before his normal time. We think he's teething now - seems like all of the areas where the canines will eventually be are a bit sore. And he's been a bit itchy sometimes, too. Ever since his infection a couple months ago, his eczema has been hard to get under control. Sometimes he wakes up and is clearly uncomfortable from it.

Last night, he wore his Christmas pjs that we got from Gymboree - cute red pajamas with little penguins all over them. I think we won't be buying any more pajamas from there, though, as much as we like their other clothes. The very second night he wore them, Ryan commented that he thought they bothered Aiden. I wasn't so sure and passed it off as coincidence. We're both convinced now. He had been wearing some others the past couple nights, but last night we put on the Gymboree ones...and he woke up MUCH more and was scratching all over and in places he doesn't usually scratch when wearing any of his other pjs. I think it's the way the seams are placed in these pjs. Around 2am, we changed his clothes, gave him some teething oil (and later gave him some baby motrin), nursed him...and finally had him back asleep. We thought. After I nursed and finally got Aiden back to sleep, I joined a sleeping Ryan in our bed. By this point, we had both been up most of the night; we had put Aiden in our bed at one point even. But he kept waking. Hopefully this time, around 3 or later, he was asleep for a good few hours.

Instead, he suddenly screamed bloody murder. I kid you not. Two very short and very scary screams. You've never seen two sleepy parents jump out of bed so quickly. We've never heard him sound like that. Very scary. We have no idea what it was, though. I was actually in tears after hearing him shout out like that. Shockingly, he was asleep when I got to him - all of two seconds later. But he quickly woke up and seemed pretty freaked out about something, begging for me to hold him. (Earlier, he was like this with Ryan...not wanting him to touch him and crying for me.) As scared as we were, we didn't think twice about bringing him to bed with us for the rest of the night, er, morning. Ryan fell right back to sleep (what a guy). Aiden was exhausted but having the hardest time getting to sleep. You bet I patted him, sang to him, and basically did whatever it took to make sure he felt secure and could go to sleep. And you bet I had a hard time falling asleep after all of that, too.

It was a rough night. After a couple other rough (but not AS rough) nights. Aiden is now taking a much needed nap (and a bit longer than usual - which doesn't even normally happen after a long night or two of little sleep). Ryan and I are hoping this is no indication of the sleep we will - or will not - get during 2010.

Camden's Glasses...

I keep failing to get this post up. Not like it's a big long one or anything... I have no good excuse.

Camden's been saying for a while now the he needs glasses. We've been saying, no...you don't. Last eye exam, his eyes were perfect. And he's always said he WANTS glasses. So, when he says that it takes a few moments for his eyes to adjust when looking up from a book or down to a book...we tell him that's normal. But we go for the exam. He's due anyway.

And yes, he (barely) needs glass. But get this...he needs READING glasses. My TEN-year-old needs READING glasses. I can't get over it. It's been a couple months, and I still think it's funny.

And yes, they did already get broken and have to be replaced. (Thank goodness for the warranty!) It wasn't actually his fault, either. Ryan put the glasses, in the case, NEXT TO Camden's backpack one evening, so Camden would see them in the morning...instead of putting them IN the backpack. The first person to notice was not Camden but Aiden... He can definitely open the case and get them out. Snapped them right in two. Camden actually cried. (Don't tell him I said that!)

What's not funny? How cute he looks with them on!! I mean, I already knew he was a good looking kid (and I don't just say this because I'm his mommy...I say it because it's true. Too true.), but he looks even better with the glasses, if that is even possible!

Check him out:

They also came with magnetic sunglasses to go over the frames. Not sure how often he'll be using those, though. He literally only needs the glasses when he is reading (which is really quite often) or in school.

Home again, home again

...jiggety jig.

We're back home from having Christmas in Kentucky. It was a very hectic time, but, as always, it was worth it. It might not have been so hectic if we had those three days that were spent waiting in NC instead of relaxing in KY... Yeah, that big snowstorm that came through VA and WV kept us home three days longer than planned. Our route goes right through where snow made for some really bad snow conditions, especially through the WV Turnpike, which was closed the day we were supposed to be on the road. Some people were stranded for 26 hours... I'm glad we made the decision to be stranded at home and wait it out. So, instead of leaving on Saturday, me and the kiddos left the house Tuesday morning. Ryan had to stay back to work and fly in Wednesday evening. I was nervous about the long drive by myself because Aiden really is not a great car-rider, especially on those long trips. But someone must have been hearing my prayers because the trip went way better than expected. That little boy who never sleeps more than an hour on these trips (that can take over 12 hours....) slept for a full (exactly) THREE HOURS right in the middle of the drive. Wow. Camden and I kept things silent for fear of waking the little guy up. We managed to stop in WV to have lunch with Ryan's dad and then again in KY to drop some luggage off at my mom's before driving another couple hours to my dad's. We weren't sure if we would make it to his house or not (that's where we were supposed to stay during the time we were stuck at home), but we made such good time that we managed...Aiden started to get cranky shortly before arriving. We left the house at 7:30am and arrived at our final destination at 7:30pm. But we made it, at least!

During our five days of visiting (not including the two days of travel), we managed to be in five different cities and see all of our family and some of our friends (but not all we had hoped to see). I told you it was hectic! The boys got plenty of gifts, as did we. It seemed to be the year of books for me and Ryan. We both came home with a ton (that we had asked for, of course). Now...we just need to find the time to read them all!! ;) We also enjoyed seeing the grandparents open their gifts. Among other things, they all received copies of a photobook of Aiden's first year and some pottery item that the kids made for them (either with handprints or thumbprints included, of course). But mostly, it was just wonderful to be with everyone. It's also the only time I get to see my extended family, since we live so far away. While some might say they would just as well stay at home rather than be so rushed and drive so much (most places we visited were about two-hour drives), I wouldn't do it any other way. Family is too important, so we make the trip...and look forward to living closer and being able to relax a bit during the holidays one day. Driving all over Kentucky, I was also reminded of how beautiful that state is. I kept wanting to stop the car to take pictures... All of the fields with cows grazing, the horse farms, the sunsets we got to see, everything. Beautiful.

Here are our pictures from all the Christmas celebrations (and some other events that happened to take place in December). I didn't take as many as I normally do, and somehow I missed pictures of some of the people we saw (sorry about that!). You'll notice Camden is missing from quite a few. He WAS with us for Christmas, but everywhere we went...he quickly disappeared to play outside or in another room with other kids. Aiden's always stuck with us, so there is no shortage of pictures of him. It was a lot of fun with him this year, especially because he really figured out the whole gift-opening concept. Hopefully next time we travel, he'll also figure out that he doesn't need to wake up at 4am every morning...

Now...next year...we are definitely getting started earlier. I'm putting it on my calendar. We still have yet to get the boys' tree ornaments (!!!I feel so terrible!!!), a tradition we have where they each get an ornament every year, symbolizing something that was important from that year. We have one picked out finally for Aiden on etsy (it should not be so hard to find a star ornament...), and we had one to get for Camden, but Hallmark sold out long before we knew about it. Christmas totally snuck up on us this year! We barely got our family photo album ordered in time... Camden's Christmas pjs had to be shipped to Mammaw's house, so he didn't get them until we were there (just in time to wear them on Christmas Eve, at least). Cards barely made it out in time. And we were just behind on so much. Next year, right? Seriously, it's going on the calendar in August or something. Once I get around to getting the new calendar out and writing in it...

Ok, enough talk. Here are the pics.

2009 December

I hope everyone else had a very, very Merry Christmas!!

Sixteen Months

A little late. Not unusual. I'm going to stop apologizing when I get things up later than I mean to b/c...well, things get posted late more than not, so....let's just roll with it. I don't think any of you really care, right? ;)

Aiden turned 16 months old on Dec 6th. This past month wasn't a HUGE month with lots of changes really. That could be due more to the fact that he was sick a lot and we were so focused on what was wrong and how to fix it than other things. (I also noticed that while most months I take about a thousand pictures, this past month...there were less than two hundred, even with a holiday. So, yeah...our priorities were a bit different during November.)

Favorites

• Aiden just loves his Guess How Much I Love You book. Actually, it's Camden's from when he was a baby, but we use it for all bedtime readings (naps and nighttime). Aiden has definitely come to expect it by now and will ask for it before we get it ourselves. He also asks for it just about any time he is in his room. We keep it on the shelf, and he'll point and beg for it. He's loved the book for a while now, but NOW, he will act out some of it, too. He will stretch out his arms and say something that sounds more like "shisshh" but is supposed to mean "this much" (like they say in the book...I love you this much.) He'll also reach his hands up high and say the same thing. And when we get to the page where Big Nutbrown Hare kisses Little Nutbrown Hare, Aiden makes a kiss noise (he also does it on the last page b/c both Ryan and I kiss him again at the end).
• Bunny is becoming more important, as well. When Aiden wakes from a nap or in the morning, and we pick him up, he turns back to the bed and signs "bunny" and reaches for him. I've also noticed him cuddling with Bunny a lot more than he used to. He'll hug and kiss him, and when he's lying down, he'll hold him close, too.
• Another favorite book is Kiss Goodnight. Aiden will read that, say "kiss," and make kissing sounds all throughout it (but not when he kisses one of us...go figure!).
• Aiden likes to put lids on things - lotions, pots and pans, ANYthing that has a lid...he has to put it on (even if you want it off).
• Puppy dogs...well, the barks from puppy dogs. We don't actually go up to any of them but can hear them from the house (our neighbors have dogs in their fenced-in yard). Aiden will bark and make the sign for dog. He also is starting to turn his bark sound into the word "puppy" - hard to believe they can sound alike, but if you heard him bark...you would get it.
• Drawing. He figured out that when you put pen to paper...something stays on the paper! I've always let him try to draw on cards before we send them out, but he never really made the connection. Now he does, and he wants to do it ALL the time! Markers aren't such a great idea yet, though. He will try to take the lid off...even if you have already taken it off, which means he's just grabbing and pulling at the marker itself. Or he'll try to put it up to his nose. I think he does this because he knows he's not supposed to; he'll look right at me as he tries to do it.
• Stuffed animals that talk/walk/play music/etc when you push buttons on them. He has all these toys that you turn on by squeezing their hands/feet/bellies, and we would have to always push them for him. But he now can do it himself, and he is quite proud of that accomplishment! He loves playing with these toys even more than before. (And it's nice for us because he can do it without us!)
• Not sure this qualifies as a favorite, but Aiden sure does it quite a lot! Pinching and scratching! (Definitely not a favorite for the rest of us!) If he doesn't want you too close, boy, he lets you know it. We're working on squashing that behavior. If I'm holding him and he does it, I put him right down. He'll get upset (because he wants to me to hold him), but I won't pick him back up until he signs that he'll be nice...and after he signs it, he actually is nice. If we tell him to have gentle hands, he'll gently pat or rub our faces. So, he is getting it. We're also trying to get him to say or sign "no" or "stop" more often - so that he can use that as a way to express he doesn't like something instead of hitting or pinching. (I would certainly prefer that.) He's learning to test those boundaries, that's for sure. Another thing that's not our favorite...us telling him "no" tends to get the opposite response we want - laughing! We can use our meanest voices and faces (even Ryan!), and he somehow thinks it's funny. That's not what you want...
• Clacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
• Pointing out people's ears, mouth, eyes, noses...you name it. He likes to actually touch them when he shows where they are. And watch out if you try to get him to do it with you because when pointing out where your nose is, he'll try to point in it if you let him (not that he's trying to pick your nose, he just likes pointing where the opening is). When showing you where HIS eyes are, he squints them and makes the cutest face.

Least Favorites

• Diaper changes. The nasty rash he got all over his body last month also included the diaper area. And it's not so much fun to be wiped and all that where you have a rash, especially when it happens multiple times a day. So...diaper changes have become a little less fun for him.
• Not being able to fit a lid on something. He'll get all the pots and pans out, and if he has the wrong sized lid for something (which means it won't fit right), he gets really annoyed.
• Taking anything away from him (he has a tight grip!).

New Developments

• As I mentioned, acting out parts of his nighttime book and stretching out his arms (Guess How Much I Love You). He doesn't just do it when we're reading the book but at any point throughout the day he'll do it.
• When I nurse Aiden and I'm switching sides...moving him from one to the other...I'll say "switch!" so he knows what is happening. Now, he says "shisshh" (yes, just like when he's trying to say "this much," but he's trying to say "switch." They do sound alike even when you say the right words.). And he's even made up a sign for it. I guess he gets it from me picking him up and moving him over - he'll put his hands together (as if he picked something up) and move them from side to side quickly as he says "shisshh." Sometimes if he's emptied one side, he'll look up and say it and do the sign all on his own. Or I'll tell him to let me know when it's time to switch, and he'll tell me when it's time.
• SLEEP! I mentioned this in the post I wrote a few weeks ago about The Sleep Lady. Aiden has improved so much with his sleeping - going to sleep, staying asleep, etc. He has even went without nursing once or twice (during the night)!! The first night he did that, I woke up the next morning and was REALLY confused! I haven't NOT nursed during the night since before he was born. We'll see if this can become something consistent soon! He's pretty much waking just once or twice, but going right back to sleep most times (as soon as one of us goes into the room). Ryan is taking over most of the nighttime wakings now so that Aiden will be more likely to not nurse. I think this has been harder on him because he isn't used to waking at night. He says he is tired a lot more, and...well, I know how he feels! I think he sometimes forgets that I really do get it and that I've spent almost a year and a half going no more than two hours without being woken up. When you sleep through that, you don't really understand what it really feels like. So, it's a new feeling to him these days. I hope to soon be saying that Aiden is sleeping through the night - as in not waking between going down at nighttime and getting up the next morning with no waking in between (not the technical definition of, what, five hours of sleep...ha). We're really pleased with how he's been doing so far!
• This one's for you, Mammaw Melly...Aiden now will blow kisses!! One night I blew him a kiss from his doorway, as he got ready to read his nighttime story with Daddy. And...he blew me a kiss right back, making the smacking sound and all!
• I'm pretty sure Aiden's vocabulary is about to explode any day. He really watches closely and intently when you sound out words. He'll watch how you move your mouth and will try to mirror it. Sometimes he thinks it's hilarious if you slow down the word so he can better see how to move his mouth. He'll try to make the "lalala" sound and other words. He does already say a handful of words, but we think we'll be hearing a lot more really soon!
• Aiden was away from BOTH Mommy and Daddy for the first time. He stayed with MaMaw Sharon while we went out to see the Phantom of the Opera. We were away for 5 hours (even seeing a matinee). He went down for a nap and amazingly slept for two hours (!!!) without waking, and then he played with Camden and MaMaw until we returned home, not fussing or asking for "milk" or anything like that. Of course, very shortly after I was back in his sight, he was signing "milk" like crazy! (And even though it ruined his dinner, I let him nurse, of course.) We all survived. We had a nice date out, acting like adults, and the boys had a fun time with their grandmother.

(He's actually trying to get the hat back on here.)

Must See

I didn't do a whole lot of Cyber Monday shopping, though I bought a few things on our list. I did snag one really great deal on amazon.com, though. This cd/dvd was highlighted as one of their main deals for that segment of time. I clicked to find out more and saw a video of one of the songs. I was sold before seeing a quarter of the video. The whole album is good, but I wanted to post this video. You might have seen/heard it, but in case you haven't, check it out. It's beautiful.

"The act of playing music with people of different cultures, religions, economics and politics is a powerful statement. It shows that we can find ways of working together and sharing our experiences with one another in a positive way. Music has the power to break down the walls between cultures, to raise the level of human understanding." ~ Mark Johnson, founder, Playing for Change

Sleep and Skin Setbacks...

So, as I mentioned, Aiden got sick and then was visited by the teething fairy again (two upper canines this time). The past two and a half nights, he has been back in our bed, after becoming inconsolable in his own bedroom. We held out for a while because we really don't want him to get back into the habit of being in our bed and nursing more often (after he's been doing SO well!!), but it couldn't be helped. The first night, he was sick and didn't nurse much like I worried...could have been the Motrin helping, though. The next night, he did nurse more than he has been. And last night, he was in his bed until about 4:30...but had been up a lot before then, so we finally gave in because WE needed some sleep, too! Hopefully he'll sleep better tonight, and we'll get back to where we were. On the flip side, he's been napping better the last couple days. Probably because he is so stinking exhausted from being up a few hours in the middle of the night the past few nights. You can even see in and around his eyes that he's lacking some much-needed sleep. :( Poor guy. It can be tough being him sometimes.

On another note, not sleep-related but skin-related... We're still having problems with his eczema flare-up. The rash is actually looking worse again in some areas, even though we're applying his lotion extra - each morning and night, and we're using the steroid cream still. We're attempting to see if the latest health/skin issues could be related to him starting to drink straight cow milk. We're taking him off all dairy for the time being to see if things clear up. After my post about him being so sick lately, a number of people have commented on facebook (my posts are exported there), and it seems a lot of other mamas and kids that we know have had milk issues that affected colds and skin problems. And we've read about these being related sometimes, so we're going to see if that's the case with Aiden. We began thinking there might be a link with the milk a little while back. Maybe there is; maybe not. It's worth a shot, though. Something has got to be the culprit...and something has got to make things better. Nothing else is different in his routines with eating (other than the milk), skin-care, laundry-care (we do cloth diaper, too, but we have been using the same detergent since we started almost a year ago), or anything else that should have any relevancy.

Have any other ideas - bring them on. We're getting desperate here.

Here are the pics I took of Aiden the other day when he had his fever and was just not his normal active self. This is really the first time he's had a fever (well, he had one a really LONG time ago, when he was just a few months old, but it wasn't but a degree or so high and was from teething), and this really took it all out of him. Thankfully, whatever he had seemed to last just a day. After that..teething set in again, so he's still quite clingy with mommy, just for a different reason.

Anyway...here's the most adorable and pitiful thing ever. Makes me want to just hold him tight, kiss him all over, and rock him in my arms!

You can see he really doesn't feel well. :(

If you really know Aiden (and his sleep habits...), you know something like this NEVER happens! He just laid there...and fell asleep (while we were watching The Little Mermaid - I broke some big "no tv" rules because there is only so much you can do when all the little sick guy will do is lie there on or next to you all day long).

What's Up with Aiden??

Ok, so I've mentioned a couple times that Aiden's been sick a lot lately. In case you're wondering what in the heck has been up, we'll try to briefly tell you.

First, he has had a ton of colds over the last few months, but we're starting to wonder if he really is dealing with allergies. When he gets sick, it lasts for a long time, a few weeks or so; he's always been like that. Then he'll be well for a couple days before catching the next bug. We could put him on Zyrtec to see if that helps next time he gets sick, but we're hoping to try some other preventative measures first. A friend mentioned Zyrtec making her child, close in age to Aiden, very sleepy (as in he slept ALL DAY and night), and when we were in to see Aiden's dermatologist the other day, one of the doctors told me that for this age, Zyrtec is actually more often used to help with sleeping... I would rather not induce sleep with my toddler with medication. I would rather not use medication unless necessary anyway, so we'll go for all the other home remedies first and see how that works.

Then...Aiden up and got a minor infection that quickly turned major. He has such sensitive skin, and sometimes we forget that because we take such good care of it and it is almost always so soft. When he gets any type of rash (esp in the diaper area), it immediately turns into an infection. Normally, we can treat it and it goes away, just as immediately. But this last time, that didn't happen. It got worse each day. After calling the doctor, we were told to keep doing what we were doing and to add in another cream on top of the one we were using - and to call back in a week if it wasn't better. That was a Thursday, and we were in the office on Monday...because the rash had continued to worsen each day and had spread over his entire body. It had become a bacterial infection by that point. We were given two antibiotics (Aiden's first time taking any antibiotics) on top of an ointment to use on the rash. BUT...he still continued to get worse. Ryan and I were getting very worried. Another call to the doctor's office at the end of the week had them telling us to just give the medication more time to work. But it didn't seem to do that. The next week, we emailed the dermatologist (before we were seeing the regular doctor) with details of dates and recent pictures. He called in a different cream.

That seemed to do the trick. We saw improvement overnight and were really impressed. And relieved! He explained that the infection had also combined with his eczema had made the rash worse. We've been doing some more research on eczema and have read a number of interesting things. For one, an infection such as what Aiden had can very quickly get worse and spread over the entire body. (Hmmm...sounds familiar.) They are more prone to these infections because of how sensitive their skin is and how their body reacts to them. Also, children with eczema can get sick more often because their system is putting energy into dealing witht he skin issues. So, basically their immune system is weaker, leaving them more prone to getting things like...(dum, dum, dum)...colds. Or allergies. Or asthma (which has not been an issue, and we hope doesn't become one).

Aiden's dermatologist had us come in this week for a follow-up, and we're glad he did because after the rash cleared up...it came back. Not as bad as it had been, but we were worried that it was back at all. It happens that this time, the rash is just from his eczema flaring up - not the infection returning (whew!). But the eczema flare-up isn't disappearing as quickly, even with the cream, and it's very irritating to Aiden. The rash from before would wake him up often when he was sleeping, and just drove him crazy! He's had some similar problems with itching this time, too. But hopefully it will be under control again soon.

And THEN...he must have picked up some virus at the dermatologist. The clinic is inside Duke Hospital, so there are all sorts of things he could have been exposed to, even though we took our own toys and all (he still touches things in the waiting room and exam room...). He woke up the next day with a fever of 102, which later went to almost 103. No other symptoms other than throwing up first thing after his morning nursing and then lying around all day and snuggling with Mommy (Aiden is not typically a snuggler - he's too busy!). He was quite the Mama's boy, wanting to be held almost every minute he was awake, which was understandable. He ended up back in our bed last night, too, because he would scream if I tried to put him down to sleep. He just wanted to be next to me; he did sleep rather well in the bed and didn't wake as often as I expected him to (but that could have been the Motrin helping with that, of course). I wouldn't have minded too much if he had, though. We were worried about him getting dehydrated b/c he wouldn't eat or drink anything and only nursed a couple times. I hated seeing him so under the weather. He kept signing to me "hurt," but when I asked "where"...he would just sign "where." (He hasn't quite figured out that he's supposed to show me where!) That was a little heartbreaking - to know he was hurting somewhere but not where. Today he's doing better, though: no fever, playing some, eating and drinking a bit more. So, maybe it was just a 24/48 hour thing and not something worse.

I'll have to post a couple pictures I took yesterday while he was sick. He just looked too pitiful. I even broke some big rules and put some movies on, since all we were doing was sitting on the couch... I'm on the laptop right now, though, so I'll have to get on the other computer to upload the pics.

Maybe after this we can focus on being healthy for a little while? That would be nice! I'm not sure how Aiden feels about all of this, but I feel like we've been quarantined in the house for the last five or so weeks... A break would be nice. Our fingers are crossed!

The Sleep Lady

So...we've been trying a new approach to teaching Aiden to sleep better at night. I haven't written about his sleep much lately. For those of you that have been reading the blog for a long time, you might remember me posting about all of his sleeping troubles earlier on and some of the things we did to try to help, mostly taking tips from the No-Cry Sleep Solution. We had some successes with that approach during different times (sometimes developmental milestones would interrupt and making things harder, as would be expected), but it's not currently working. In fact, Aiden has been having more and more difficulty getting to sleep at naptimes, and he has still been waking up at least every two hours at nighttime (after sleeping for about three hours the first stretch). Sometimes he wakes more often, even hourly, and once about four am or so hit, he was almost always waking hourly or more often, wanting to nurse a lot from that point on. I do appreciate the NCSS approach. Even though Aiden hasn't been a great sleeper, we wouldn't change much about how we worked with him. I think a lot of it is just how HE is (esp when Camden was a great sleeper, and I've tried to do things similarly with both of them). From birth, he would fall asleep after nursing for five minutes. No matter what we tried, we couldn't get him to stay awake to nurse and go to sleep on his own afterwards. I think that hurt him and set him up to want to nurse to sleep even more. We haven't been nursing him to sleep for a very long time; we've always tried to ensure he does not fall asleep that way. But I think his personality has not been very conducive to being an easy sleeper. I have changed my way of thinking about babies and sleep a lot since this little one arrived!

In case you're wondering, I've been against Cry-It-Out from the start for many reasons. I just don't think it is good for a baby to be left to cry, raising their stress hormone levels (which isn't good for many things), and reinforcing an idea that you are not responding if they cry out to you. As a child gets older and can understand more, that might change some, but I still don't feel it's right for us. Do I think CIO is necessarily going to scar a child for life? No, not really (depending). But I'm not comfortable with it, so I choose not to do it.I know many people like that approach or feel it's right for them. I'm not here to argue against it or say it's the "wrong" way. It's just not our way.

Well....I actually did recently try it. And it totally backfired. I tried it for two days for naptime because things were getting so difficult, and I was at the point where something had to give. And when Aiden got to the point he was really crying, not just fussing or crying a little bit, I went into his room where he CLUNG to my neck and would not let go. He was nearly impossible to get back into the bed, screaming when he saw me putting him into it and just holding me tighter. If I mentioned going bye-bye for the next few days, he would grab onto me and cry. He totally got what it meant, and he letting me know that he was NOT ok with it. I was not ok with it, either. So, for a week or so, his mattress was moved to the floor so that I could be nearby and he could still fall asleep. It worked better, but we didn't want to leave the mattress on the floor.One thing I noticed during that time, though, was how uncomfortable the crib mattress is. Have you tried laying on one of those things? Aiden has gotten used to sleeping on our tempurpedic mattress every night, so I can see how going from that to his crib might not be the most fun experience. You try it. I wouldn't want to do it. So, we're on the lookout for a crib mattress topper made from memory foam. That might help even more. (Maybe he'll sleep straight through once he has a comfy bed...who knows!?) And yes, I am aware that would not be safe for a newborn to use (there is a reason those mattresses are so firm), but it's perfectly safe for a child his age.

Enter The Sleep Lady. A friend of mine, Melissa, who feels similarly about teaching her little one to sleep (without crying), told me about this approach, and I was very interested, to say the least. Google "The Sleep Lady" (Kim West) - you'll find all kinds of wonderful things said about her! I requested the book from the library, and we've been working with Aiden based on what she recommends. Basically, you gradually make changes in how you put your little one to sleep. You start by sitting next to the crib, reassuring the child that you are nearby, touching them if needed (but not constantly or consistently). If they cry and you need to pick them up, you do it - but then put them back down when they are calm. After three days, you move the chair farther away, to the middle of the room. Three days later, even farther. Etc, etc. Eventually, you are out of the room and baby is going to sleep on their own. It's not guaranteed the baby won't cry, but he certainly isn't left to cry on his own, and you are there for reassurance. You just don't rock the baby to sleep.

Night one.... It took nearly an hour for Aiden to fall asleep. He played for a while, walked from one side of the crib to the other. When he started to really get tired, he tried to fall asleep standing up. He stood right in front of where I sat and placed his head on the crib railing, trying to sleep just like that so he could be as close as possible to me. It was rather endearing. I finally put him down after he almost fell over a couple of times (he was seriously falling asleep standing up!), and he went right to sleep. There was a little fussing, but no actual crying. That night, he woke a few times but went back to sleep on his own. He nursed once in the middle of the night. In the early morning, Ryan brought him to the bed. I had conflicting feelings about how we should handle that. On one hand, he wakes often to nurse, and we both need our sleep. We also want him to learn to sleep in his own bed all night. On the other hand, oh how we love having him there to cuddle. (Yes, Ryan, too.) And it's nice waking up with him and being able to relax in bed together for a while before having to get up (versus getting up to get him out of the crib). Anyway, Ryan brought him to the bed this first night...and I quickly decided that was our last night co-sleeping. I'm not sure if it was because he hadn't nursed much that night and was suddenly next to me, being reminded that milk was within reach...but he demanded to nurse for the next two hours, getting very angry if I stopped and unlatched him. So, that was that. From then on, he has stayed in his bed.

After that, Aiden actually got sick, so we didn't stick to moving the chair away. She even recommends staying where you are if the child is sick and not moving until they are better. And we weren't comfortable pushing something new on him while sick. But he has continued to do really well. We've had some nights where he was up at 4am and had a hard time getting back to sleep (as in up for an hour or two), but on average, he might wake once around midnight and go right back to sleep as soon as one of us shows up. He wakes to nurse around 3am and goes back to sleep after that (in his crib). We thought about stopping the night feedings altogether, but Aiden insisted he nurse once. I mean, he actually is HUNGRY, and it's obvious the way he eats. But then he will typically be back to sleep until around 6am. He is waking a bit earlier, but he is also sleeping a lot more, so he feels more rested earlier. If we get to sleeping straight through, waking an hour early won't be as big of a deal. Now, like I said, not every night is like this, but he has improved so much - and it happened immediately! He might fuss a bit some nights, but he is not actually crying at all. (If he does cry, we get him and comfort him, but that's rarely needed.)

We also haven't been doing well about staying at the "designated" spot when he wakes up during the nap or during the nighttime..but this is mostly because of him being sick and uncomfortable. Part of him being sick has to do with a really bad rash, and it's made it hard for him to sleep some nights/naps, so we have been standing by him if needed. He's still doing remarkably well, though.

Naptime is improving, as well. As I type this, I am sitting in a chair outside of his bedroom door...and he just layed down and went to sleep. I have been sitting here for about half an hour, but that's fine. It's not expected that he immediately goes to sleep. That's not the point. The point is for him to learn to do it on his own, as I gradually get farther from his room and eventually am not needed nearby. (Do you immediately fall asleep when your head hits the pillow? I know it takes me much longer than 30 minutes... And actually, since he's in his room now, my insomnia has kicked in, and it's becoming harder for me to get to sleep. But that's a different issue.) When I put him in bed for naptime, he'll play some. Then he usually dirties his diaper (thanks). Plays some more (with a new, clean diaper on, of course). Drops his Bunny and blankets onto the floor. Walks around - sometimes jumps around. And then goes to sleep. It's such a nice change from the frustrating routine before where we would both almost be in tears before he fell asleep! And naptime length is getting better. He will often wake after an hour but go right back to sleep when I show up. He's actually had a few naptimes that lasted about two hours with no waking. Shocking!

Another amazing improvement? Sometimes at night, while Ryan and I are still awake, we have heard him wake up over the monitor...and then put himself back to sleep. No crying or fussing at all. THAT is incredible.He's never done anything like that before.

Some things I really like about this book and the approach...

• Kim West (The Sleep Lady) is an LCSW. I like that she has a social work background and this isn't just based on her opinion or made-up nonsense.Me having a background in social work doesn't have anything to do with this, except for the fact that I get that her background actually has merit and is relevant to this topic.
  
• You do not have to read the entire book! You read two intro chapters and then skip to the chapter based on your child's age. Three short chapters. That's all! She has chapters for various ages up through five years, I believe.
• She encourages you to reassure your child and do what you are comfortable doing with your child.
  
• If the child cries and you want to pick him up, do it! You don't have to cut any of the snuggling or close parts of your routine out. You might just do things at different times so that you aren't doing too much for the child once he's in the bed.
• It's a gradual process so that the child learns you are nearby and he can still go to sleep on his own. While it is stated that there might be some crying...we have not experienced actual crying. My friend, Melissa, hasn't either.
• We have learned that Aiden can do much better than even we expected. We have been very pleasantly surprised with his abilities to go to sleep on his own.

I'll keep you updated. We've been doing this for a while, but like I said, Aiden's been sick, so we haven't been as firm in the approach as we might have been if he wasn't. I plan on posting some about what all he's been dealing with the past month of being sick soon. We have an appointment with his dermatologist today, where we hope to find out some more, and I'm waiting until after that to post. But regardless of all of that...we are beyond thrilled with the results and Aiden's improvement in getting (and staying) asleep so far. (Thanks, Melissa!!!)