"Morning" Sickness

Well, I have easily gone from being ecstatic about being pregnant to being just mis-er-able. The morning sickness - ha! They need a new name for that! This is all day and all night. I am lucky that some evenings I can get down a little bit at dinner time, but other than that, I am pretty much starving. I throw up at least a couple times a day (sorry, but I do) and can't even think of eating anything with any flavor. In fact, the only things I can handle eating are things that are terrible for me and I hardly ever touch to begin with: plain donuts (no extra sugar or glaze), white bread, and french fries (that aren't too greasy). Plus I can tolerate a baked potatoe and applesauce sometimes. My healthy eating habits have gone completely down the drain!!! I start to feel guilty because I know I need to be eating better than ever right now. I am aware of what body parts are forming with the little bean right now. But I tell myself I can't feel guilty over something like this when I have no control over it. Same thing happened with Camden, and he was very healthy. In fact, they do say that people with morning sickness are much less likely to have miscarriages and they have healthier pregnancies. A nice reminder, but still doesn't help you feel much better when you're sitting on the bathroom floor....

Today I got to the point where I called Ryan crying saying that we have got to call the doctor for some help. I can't keep even the blandest foods down during the day, and I'm doing everything that all the books and websites suggest. I need to eat something. I am exhausted and can hardly carry on a conversation because I have so little energy. He has been amazing and has done everything he can to help me over the past week. (I am reminded every day that I married an awesome man!) He called the doctor, and they're actually calling me in a prescription. I hate to take medications while I'm pregnant, but let's face it - the way things are going right now are definitely not helping things! And I am desperate at this point. Let's hope this does some help. We've been warned I need to take it during a time when I can sleep if it knocks me out. Hey - I welcome sleep right now! Maybe I won't be sick if I'm sleeping...

Actually, night time has not been that much better. I wake up throughout the night and have the hardest time getting to sleep because I'm so nauseous. But I still try to sleep as long as I can in the mornings. Then I get up and spend the day on the couch, being the laziest I have ever been. I hate it, but I just can't do anything else!

I have to say, there is one silver lining in all of this........... This is happening over my Christmas break. That's the silver lining, you ask? I get to go through this while traveling and visiting family? Well, I know this will continue when spring semester begins in January, but hopefully by then I will have found ways to tolerate it and will know of things I can eat during the day to help. Hopefully (hopefully) the worst will happen while I'm out of school. This would be impossible if it started after school was in session. Right now I can actually afford to sit on the couch and lie around all day. I need this time to figure out how to deal with this. So, I am very, very thankful for that.

And so it begins...

Over the past two days, I have felt a little different. The best way I can describe it is that my body seems kind of nervous. I felt like I couldn't really relax my belly. I took it to mean, the morning sickness is on its way......

Today I wake up, feeling like that and a little more so. I even ask Ryan to bring me some crackers just in case. I end up not needing them, but when breakfast time comes, I have to force myself to eat half of half a bagel. I'm emailing Ryan telling him how I feel and that I'm worried it might be starting today, when halfway through the email (and the bagel), I have to make a run for the bathroom..... And it's here.

It has NOT been a fun day. I was able to get down a couple crackers, a ginger snap cookie (we read ginger is supposed to help with nausea), and then a pb sandwich later on. But I am basically forcing myself to eat something because I know it will just get worse if my belly is completely empty. I feel terrible, though. So exhausted and just so uneasy.

And I keep thinking to myself, this is just day one.............................................

I endured five months of this with Camden. I wonder how much I'll have to suffer through this time... Some say it's better with the next pregnancies, some say it's the same (the first is a predictor of the other pregnancies), and my mom had it even worse with me, her second. Hmmmmm.... Looks like I'm in for a fun time either way.

My First Post!

(Written by Ryan)
Well, it looks like we are going to have another little guy (or girl) running around here and we are so excited! Everything has worked out perfectly so far, we're just keeping our fingers crossed that everything else goes the way we hope it does. We still have a lot of work ahead with getting the apartment ready for a baby, but it will be fun.

We found out at the end of November but decided to wait until Christmas to tell everyone and man it has been tough. We even waited a little while to tell Camden, also very tough to do, especially because he has been wanting a little brother or sister for a while now.

I will have more to say later, I am just so tired right now I can't really think. My brain is worn down from studying for the CPA exam. I am halfway done though! I am really going to have a deadline now though, with the baby coming. I don't want to be spending my time studying when I can be spending it with the baby!

What a Miracle!

I woke up this morning (it was actually sometime in the middle of the night...) thinking the morning sickness had begun. I wasn't sure if it was that or if I was just feeling nauseous because I woke up in the middle of the night (and therefore had an empty belly). I tried to wish it away and fall back to sleep, and thankfully it worked. My fears were relieved by the time I woke up at the time I was supposed to (in the morning). I keep hoping that it holds off until at least after tomorrow. Why tomorrow? Because I have a final exam and did not plan on telling anyone I was pregnant yet. I don't want to have to worry about having to rush out of the classroom a million times and have to somehow explain it to the professor or other classmates, since this is not typical behavior... So hopefully I will wake up tomorrow morning with yet another day free of nausea.

Aside from constantly wondering when that will kick in and being appreciative of the days I have had without it so far....I am just constantly amazed at the miracle that is occuring. It truly is just so awesome when you think about what is happening in my body right now, especially during these first few weeks. I mean, the spinal cord is developing and so are all of this important organs. It really makes me stop and think about what I am eating every time I put something into my mouth these days! I have taken a bunch of classes and know so much about the development of the fetus, but it still is just so, so amazing to think about how it really occurs and grows. And to stop and realize that this is growing in my own body... Wow. It just blows me away. I am so very thankful and just want to do everything in my power to give this baby the best home possible.

And that is why I want to eat well, rest well, and let my wonderful husband pamper me as much as he is willing! ;) As soon as we found out we were pregnant, he said, that's it - we can't have you stressed at ALL! And he really has been great at trying to keep that from happening (well, most of the time). I feel so fortunate in so many ways right now.

I cannot wait to share this news, too. It's so hard to keep it from some people, such as Camden and my mom! She called the other day and said she hadn't heard from me in a while and wanted to hear my voice. One reason I hadn't spoken or emailed WAS because I'm so busy with finals coming up and all that, but the other is that it is just so hard not to tell her this news!!! I can't wait to share it with her!

We have this great plan for how to tell the parents. I can't wait to do it! We have these presents wrapped for each set of parents. Inside is a scroll of paper tied up with a note in it: Your present will arrive in nine months. I'm sure they'll figure it out right away, especially mom who knows how much I've been wanting to have another baby, but we'll be able to see their faces (and hopefully get pictures of it). It will be such a wonderful Christmas! Camden is getting a special present, too. We've ordered this cool shirt that says "big brother" on it. As soon as it arrives, I'm wrapping it, and he gets to open it that night! He is going to be SOOOO excited! He's been asking for a baby sister (or brother!) since before Ryan and I got married. He was a tad disappointed when he found out that after we got married, we could choose when we wanted to get pregnant. He hoped it would happen right away! But he's been asking if we'll have a baby the year he turns nine, at least. And that's what he's getting! He is going to be thrilled! I can't wait to see him as a big brother. He is so great around little kids. He is very big brotherly like, and I know he's going to be awesome with his new role.

Ok, now I have a final tomorrow, and I really should be studying right now....

Check out what is happening in my little tummy this week: http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-4-weeks_1080.bc?scid=mbtw_preg05:20071203:0:0:0

YES we are!

So, to kill the suspense, yes, we are PREGNANT! Well, I am pregnant and WE are having a baby! :) Many of you are just finding this out right before (or as) you read this, but I'm writing this a week after we found out for SURE that we were pregnant and two weeks after we suspected...

Last week, Tuesday the 27th, I woke up and immediately knew I was pregnant. It was too early to take a test, but I didn't need it. I had a tell-tale sign; something was different, and it was a clear sign to me. BUT we had to wait until Friday to actually take a test. That week was a long, long week, let me tell you! That is a hard waiting game to play! But Friday morning FINALLY came....the results were light but obvious to us. :) Of course, like I said, I already knew it was true. I did not need a test to tell me this, but it is always nice to have that confirmation.

We were both just thrilled - but that soon turned to frustration. Ryan spent all afternoon trying to track down a doctor.... We had already decided we were delivering at Duke, after visiting Duke, Durham Regional, and Wake Med (yes, we did this very early on - planning ahead!). So, it now appeared we had a small pool of doctors to choose from. And the place recommended by my doctor (who just had her own baby!) is no longer accepting new patients. Great............. And the Duke Clinic, which is really for high risk pregnancies but also for others with private insurance, apparently gets very, very busy, and we're told there can be up to a two hour wait sometimes. Another Great......... We finally decide to try out the clinic - at least to get the first test done. (Do we actually have a choice right now?) We decide to keep trying Duke Women's Health, though. Maybe if we bug them enough, they'll get so annoyed that they'll take us, huh? ;)

***

So....today was the day for the test at the clinic. There were all kinds of emotions going through me today - and all kinds of things coming out of my mouth!!! (Poor Ryan... I told him that eventually the pregnancy could cause "irritability" - not sure when that will kick in, though...hmmmm)

First, the parking is not great, but I could live with it, I suppose. We have to walk forever once in the building to find the clinic, wait in line forever to register, and then the lady gives us directions for what to do next: go down this hall, take a left, find the bathroom and the cups and (you know this part), then come back this way, take your sample to the lab which is down this other hall and to the left, then come back, go back down the hall you went to first, keep going, though, and make a right, then another right into the waiting room..... Are any of YOU lost by now? Because I was lost with the first sentence that came out of her mouth! I can't remember that many lefts and rights, no way! And I have to carry my sample out into this hallway full of people? Oooookkkkkk....

I've already complained to Ryan how ridiculous most of this is. I mean, first of all, when I had Camden, the choices were between two OB's - both were right next to the hospital in town. That choice was easy. And I got to park right in their small lot and walk right into the waiting room. All very simple. And the bathroom had a tiny door where I passed the sample into. THIS was all starting to annoy me. It doesn't help that we wait for over 30 minutes, in which time three different nurses come to ask if someone has taken my sheet yet (the first one did). I complain majorly to Ryan about the organization of this place! Then comes the best part.....and yes, I am being sarcastic. What was supposed to be THE BEST PART...

A nurse indicates to us with her finger to come over to her at the doorway of the waiting room where she - get this - holds up a business card that has a note written on it.

"Your pregnancy result is: _____ Pregnant _____ Not Pregnant"

There is an X beside "Pregnant"

WOW - that is IT??? You tell me by showing me a card in the HALLWAY? Fine for our situation, but I kept asking Ryan, what about those women who are very upset that they are, in fact, pregnant or the women who have been trying and trying and think maybe this time - to find out with an X that they are NOT pregnant??? This could be a major, major event for someone, and you're going to do it in a hallway? I could not get over this. Is this just my hormones or am I right to think this is wrong? Do we not deserve to find out in a private room where strangers are not around to watch our reaction, whether it is joy or sadness? Maybe it is just my hormones, maybe it's the social worker in me, but I thought it was terrible.

And does it get better from there? Not really. We are told there are three places that deliver at Duke (the clinic being one). BOTH are not accepting new patients!!! One is the one we called last week. Ryan makes an attempt to get them to feel sorry for us and take us on.... But they're getting ready to go to lunch and ask us to call the OB nurse in an hour. What a day this has been so far! This is supposed to be a wonderful, wonderful afternoon, and I am about in tears! I do NOT want to have to go to the clinic for my OB appts! I've been told yet again about the two hour waits that are possible and how busy they are, even with 15 doctors! No, no, no... I want a doctor's office! This is supposed to be the best hospital around, we have great insurance through Duke, and this is not supposed to be so difficult.

OK - long story short - like it's been short up till now, right? (Thanks for following this so far, by the way!) Ryan is my HERO by the end of the day. He convinces this lady to make an exception for us. :) She remembered us from last week, and perhaps it helps that Ryan works for Duke - who knows, but whatever it was, it worked. And this place is supposed to be great, and they have an office in Chapel Hill and one near my other doctor in Durham (close to home - and to Southpoint Mall).

So now, all is right and we are joyful, joyful, joyful. Not that we weren't happy about other things, but we needed a doctor! We don't have to worry about that now. We have a doctor and can deliver at Duke - one of our requirements. :) It may have limited us, but there are some things we were not willing to settle for, even if it meant going to that stinking clinic...

It was a crazy day, but we have even more confirmation (we have the card to prove it!), and we seem more settled with being able to handle this. So far, everything is actually working out EXACTLY like we wanted. We were very, very fortunate that we got pregnant exactly when we wanted to, we have the doctors we wanted from the beginning, we will be at the hospital we wanted, and we are having a BABY!!!

Now, I just have to wait for that morning sickness to kick in. I know it will start any day! I wonder every morning if this will be the day. After five months of all-day-sickness with Camden, I am treasuring every day I have had without it, and I am prepared for it when it comes (we'll see if I say that when it does happen, but for now...). I am thoroughly enjoying everything I get to eat and drink and enjoy. ;)

A Time for Thanksgiving

Well, we have finally given in and are creating a blog. I've actually been planning on doing this for a while, but many things get pushed back while you're in grad school and spend the majority of your time studying. I have so many other things that already distract me, so I didn't really need another one! BUT here I am anyway.... :) Here WE are, I guess I should say. The point is for either me or Ryan to use this - maybe Camden from time to time - so we can keep everyone up-to-date on things we're doing here in NC. Welcome and check back from time to time.

Some of you already know how much we have been wanting to have a baby..... (Yes, I'm going to get straight to talking about that!) Many of you may know that I have been dying to have a baby! Haha! Everyone else seems to be doing it, right? Let's see...all of my bridesmaids that are out of high school have gotten pregnant in the last year, and most of our other friends are having babies, too! The only thing keeping us from doing this earlier was time, I guess you could say. With me being in school and Ryan studying for his exam, we hardly have time for our own lives right now without throwing a new all-our-time-demanding baby! But grad school is almost over and Ryan is halfway through his exams................... So what does that mean? Well, we'll see! We did spend Thanksgiving in a way that is making us very thankful - let's just say that for now. ;) More on what we are thankful for later. I've got to get to class...