If you read my post from last week, you know we're wanting to go for a VBAC with our next baby (that is nonexistent at this point). We met with a dr within our network that had said they would "allow" us to do this, and we posted about the consultation. I'm not sure if my emotions showed through with that post; I really tried to keep them out. A main reason is because I wasn't having such great emotions in regards to the meeting. While the doctor said a lot of things we liked, there were a few things we did not...and my gut was not really feeling it. I walked out of there feeling uneasy and hesitant. After letting some of my feelings stew for a while and discussing things with Ryan, we both felt this OB office was not the one for us. We believe, and strongly, that if we stay with this office, our odds of having an emergency or scheduled c-section would be much too great.
For now, we have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is, we have found a place we really like, one that we feel is our best chance at a successful VBAC. This practice is well-known in the community/state for being very VBAC-friendly, and they have plenty of experience in this area. It's also at another top hospital in the area (one of the two that we would consider - I'm sure it's an easy guess if you know where we are located). Not only that, but their philosophy toward pregnancy and delivery are way more in line with my own, which is awesome. I spoke extensively with a lady about my entire situation, including my hesitations about the other office, and she totally agreed with our concerns. Everything she had to say to me was exactly what I would want to hear (and at this point, I KNOW what I want to hear and am not easily misled), not only when it came to VBACs but also just regular care. She was so validating of what I felt (concerns, what I wanted, every little thing), which was a wonderful thing to experience.While speaking with her, I had this amazing sense of calm come over me, this sense of "this is where I am meant to be." I had to hold back tears during the call. Now, maybe all of that doesn't make sense to some people, and I'm not going to put my entire medical care in someone's hands SOLELY on my gut and intuition...but I also will not discount those feelings. They're there for a reason. Besides, I had my gut feelings AND factual information all in my favor here.
The bad news...this office is not in-network, so our insurance will not cover care there. We spoke with the insurance company and were told to write a letter explaining our reasons for requesting a benefit exception. Did we really expect them to make this allowance? Not really. We were hopeful but we were also realistic. We wrote an extensive letter that laid out the reasons we should be treated at this other out-of-network provider. We included all the ways this would save them money - because it would save them a LOT of money, really. We haven't received our actual response via email/postal mail...I'm hoping they will at least give their reasons in the response, but I'm not sure if they do that or not. I called earlier today and was given a quick (and not the most polite) response: DENIED. I was told they had emailed, but um...we've received nothing, and that was over six hours ago.
So, what does this mean? Well, it means we wait, though we're not 100% sure yet what all that means... We are waiting to see what their response is before we know if we can appeal and give them other specific information they request from us. Or we wait until we can change insurance providers. Open-enrollment, when we can elect to change insurance providers, is in the fall. We'll make the switch then to an insurance that we know will cover our care at this other practice. It will mean a higher monthly cost, but it will get us what we want and what we need. This isn't just us wanting something that is over the top. This is us wanting quality care that we need and deserve. It also means waiting a heck of a lot longer to get pregnant than we were planning. This is not really what we want, but as the chance at a VBAC and having a supportive doctor are crucial to us, if we need to wait, we wait. There are all kinds of emotions tied up in that; I won't lie. It's been a tough week and a half. There have been many hours staying up unable to sleep, many wild dreams about meeting with doctors, being pregnant, and all sorts of things. It's not been easy. But we're going to be realistic, logical, and we're going to do what it takes to get what we need. Even if that means waiting.
Now, I know some of you are wondering what is so important about having a VBAC anyway. I intend to address that. We aren't going into this because of some selfish desire for me to "experience" natural childbirth. Sure, I would love to go through that and deliver a baby on my own, the way my body was made to do. But no, that is not the reasoning. This is all for the health of a baby. We've done our research, we know the reasons for vaginally delivering a child, the risks and benefits of that versus any risks/benefits of having a cesarean section.We're going to put up some posts looking at all of that and explaining why this is so very important to us. But rest assured it's all about what is best and safest for baby (and what is safest for mother, too). Nothing selfish...unless you consider wanting the safest possible delivery selfish.