Yesterday was a terrible day. A friend of mine is really going through it and needed some things to work in her favor. They did not. I won't be sharing what is going on - it is not my story to tell. But I will share some of what I am feeling about it.
We have been praying so much for God's will to shine through in this situation. She has been; I have been; many others have been. Her relationship with God and her faith have grown so much over the past couple years, and it has really helped her through this. She has trusted that God is in control. But what happened in the end...I can't possibly see how it is God's will. It is something that any mother would struggle enormously with. My friend lives in another state, so I can't be there to support her the way I want. Even if I was there, I couldn't fix this the way I wish I could. I can't take the pain away or make things right. My heart is breaking for her, and I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
After talking with her on the phone yesterday, I couldn't help but think some things that I don't like admitting...
Where were you, God? How is this in your plan?? How could you let this happen?
I trust that God has a plan for each of us and that he looks out for us, never giving us more than we can handle and always using our trials to bring us closer to him. But at the same time, I do not understand what is happening! I don't know why He is allowing this. And I am angry with him for what this family is going through.
Yesterday was a terrible day. For many of us. My entire perspective on a lot of things changed immediately when I heard the news. Those new gdiapers I thought I just had to have - I really don't care about now. Dinner out to a nice restaurant - wasn't important. The parenting discussions and other blog posts I had in mind - they can all wait. I have my family; we are healthy; we are together. That's what matters, isn't it?
Please pray for my friend and her family. Pray that God's will WILL shine through. And if what is happening IS God's will - please let it be evident HOW it is His will. What will this pain and fighting accomplish in the end? This can't possibly be the end, but I know my friend is getting tired of the fight. Pray that she get the support she needs and that she is surrounded by love. Pray that her faith is not shaken but that she leans even more on God. Pray that He shines in her and through this situation.