Our family is growing in many ways... Growing in numbers, knowledge, parenting skills, growing in love, in our faith, growing our culinary skills (if you can call it that), growing without gluten (some of us), growing green...........

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Count of hands...How many are singing the song now??

Today at lunch, I made a statement that I think Ryan and I need to start talking to Camden about sex more often. Camden's like WHHHHAAAATTT???!!! Um, yeah - he's getting older. I'm not stupid. We've had the talk and sex is not a taboo topic in our home - that's how I grew up, and I think it's the best way to go. It's not a bad word or something we ignore. But we don't have a lot of actual conversations about kids, growing up, sex, etc, etc. - the kind of talks we will soon need to be having more often. I've heard some of his friends mention "making out" and stuff like that - from what they've seen on tv shows or whatever (not talking about themselves doing it - but that won't be too, too long!), so sooner might be better than later. Not that I am worried about anything happening now - especially after some of Camden's comments and expressions while we chatted. But at the same time, I know how soon some kids do things. Like I said, I'm not stupid. I've been in schools. I've worked around kids. Middle school can be a big age for some things, unfortunately, and he's almost there (in middle school, I mean!).

Plus, the other day the computer was open to cnn.com b/c that's our homepage. He clicked on some article and then went back to the homepage again. When asked what he clicked on, he tried to say it was a different one. I finally got him to fess up about what he clicked on - something that had the word "sex" in it. He tried to get out of telling the truth, but after me saying that I most likely know the answer but am giving him a chance to tell me himself (which is almost always the case! Us parents are smarter than kids give us credit for sometimes...most of the time. Let's hope it stays that way, too!) - anyway, after that, he told the truth and admitted he was just curious. The article was actually just about how some families think it's harder to talk about money that sex. Wow - that's interesting for a fourth grader, huh? Anyway...back to the story...

We told Camden that we don't want him getting all of his information from friends because we don't want his knowledge to come from people that make up half of the stuff they talk about. We want him talking to people that can be honest with him and know the real facts.

His response??

I know. You're witnesses.

We ALL just had to laugh at that one. He's like - well, you did just have Aiden! Hello. You don't just suddenly one day say, hey, I'm gaining weight. How did that happen? (He actually said all of that - I'm not paraphrasing.) The conversation went from him being shocked to us all having a nice laugh. And after all, isn't that how it should be when you talk to kids about sex? Well, not all jokes and laughter - but lighthearted and comfortable. He knew it was ok to joke around, and I'm pretty happy about that.


Gwenn Mangine said...

If you have not yet, I would HIGHLY recommend getting a filter/tracking on your internet.
Covenant Eyes is a good one.

Daisy and Ryan said...

I agree that it might be time for something like that. The computer is in a VERY public place where everyone can see the screen (sometimes I want more privacy but there's a reason it's like this) - which is how I knew what he did. This article wasn't racy and just had the word, so we had a discussion about using the internet and what's ok - but yes, it is getting to be time for more than just our eyes, I believe. Definitely can't hurt.

Miho said...

I think that it's a good thing you're starting to talk to him about it-- I was pretty young when I learned the technical scientific aspects of childbirth, but sex was always...an assumption? I can't really remember, but I never had an official "talk" from what I know. Even so, it was right around 4th and 5th grade that we all started thinking about it, for sure. :P I got most of my information from books, though. Camden's a smart kid-- he won't just believe everything he hears. ^_^ And I agree about the computer stuff-- better safe than sorry, as they say.