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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Why Oh WHY Did We Ever

move Aiden into his bedroom to sleep at night?! We waited until he was five months for various reasons...

For one, we traveled a lot during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we didn't want to transition him during all of that, so we waited until returning from our two weeks of Christmas travel.

Number two - that's all Mommy, well, mostly Mommy... With an infant waking every couple hours during the night to nurse, it's a heck of a lot easier for Mommy to get up, take a step or two to the bassinet, and get baby to nurse than it would be to walk to a different room to do so. I could also check on him without getting up - all I had to do was sit up, and I could see him to know if he was just making noise in his sleep, actually waking, etc. Plus, when he was just a few months old, Mommy simply wasn't ready to not have baby within arms' reach.

People say that when you move the baby to his own room, often he'll start sleeping longer and better. Well, some say this. Others disagree. I'm not saying either is true, especially after seeing how it worked for us! Aiden sleeps fine in his crib. He's been napping there since he was a couple months old. So sleeping during nighttime wasn't a big deal for him. He didn't wake up more, but he certainly hasn't been sleeping more, either! BUT now Mommy has to get up from bed, walk across the apartment to his room, and sit in there to feed him. Then I have to lie him down...and wait. I don't want to leave until I know he's out. WHY? Because I don't want to get all the way in bed, get nice and comfy, just to have to get right back up because he's fussing or needs something. It's easier to stay and wait a few moments. That's usually all it takes. Not always, though.

Sometimes Aiden wakes for a typical nursing session - 10 minutes - and goes right back to sleep. Sometimes he thinks it's fun to stay awake a little longer, anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. Those are the times I usually do end up going back and forth between rooms because he's asleep, then he's not, etc. Those are the times Mommy can't help but thinking why did we think this was a good idea?? Why did we ever put him in his room at night??

Aiden might be sleeping the same. But Mommy is getting much less sleep. Something about that doesn't add up right... With Camden, it was better having him in his room. I slept better b/c I wasn't constantly worried about him and checking on him. He spit up a lot, and after one week of having him in the bassinet in my room, I had to move him to his own room so I could sleep! He also slept through the night by this age. But with this child...not the same at all.

Well, Aiden just woke from his nap (a little early this time - his sleeping is not always so consistent, even with consistent routines!), so I'll end this already-too-long-post that was simply meant to say maybe this was a bad idea! Why did we ever do this??? (And what to do now?)


Gwenn Mangine said...

Now, this might not be a popular thing with the gents, BUT... WHERE IS RYAN DURING ALL OF THIS?

It seems to me that yes, you have the mechanism for nursing, but if Aiden is awake 2 hours at times, he is not nursing that whole time!

Or if he's up but not nursing, can't you take turns?

When our nursing babies were babies we had a deal that Nick would go get the baby and change her/him, then bring them to me to nurse and I would bring her/him back.

Now, when I was nursing AND pumping, he did almost all the bottle feedings... even if it was not pumping time.

I get that husbands have work in the morning... but so do wives. And other than the actual nursing part, I think it's totally the dad's job as much as the mom's...

(And I think Nick would agree.)

Life Scraps and Patches said...

I bet a week will make a big different and he'll be taking a cue from Camden and sleeping through the night. At least that's my hope for you.

Daisy and Ryan said...

gwenn - ryan does sleep through the nursings, yes. aiden doesn't take a bottle and doesn't need changes in the night. when he did need changes, ryan had that duty. :) when aiden was first born, he brought him to me to nurse. i put an end to that after the first few weeks b/c he was SO sleep deprived that i was more worried about him not being aware enough. (we've got some funny stories about that...)

BUT if aiden is up for a while, has nursed, and just isn't going back to sleep - you bet i wake ryan up! haha! then, it's his turn! that doesn't usually happen unless aiden's been up for quite a while and is just playing b/c ryan has to get up a lot earlier than i do, and he's got big brother duty in the a.m. while aiden and i sleep more. but trust me, i don't hesitate to wake him if i need it - or if i'm getting frustrated. :) ryan agrees, too - we share everything we can.

my thing is - even those 10-30 minute sessions throughout the night can wear on you. i remind ryan of that when he says how tired he is. ;) and then, of course, aiden always seems to wake right when i'm finally falling asleep.... *sigh* one day, one day... :)

Gwenn Mangine said...

I have to say, now that I am not nursing and my kids are sleeping through the night, I LOVE medication to help me sleep.

I am experiencing better sleep now than I ever have in my life, and unfortunately, it runs in my family.

I find I am waking up at 4:30AM not because it's the middle of the night, but because I am TOTALLY rested. Which is TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY out of character for me. Before this stage of my life I cannot remember the last time I felt truly rested.

But we also go to bed VERY early. (Nearly ALWAYS before 9-- most times by 8:30 or so.) We're totally geeks like that. It makes our mornings together before the kiddos wake up totally calm and quiet-- pretty much the only time of the day I can get anything done.

That sounds crazy to most people. (We had to almost all-together give up television, but that's never been that important to us... and we generally will watch the Office every week if it is new. That's our big "late night" every week-- we stay up until 9:30!

I guess the point of this whole ramble is that SOMEDAY this WILL pass. I was sleep-deprived for like a whole year after Josiah was born and Nico came home between night-terrors and nursing and pumping and whatever else kind of drama they cooked up-- I remember-- it is MISERABLE! But soon Aiden will get into a routine-- it WILL happen! And then you will be able to start establishing healthy sleep patterns for you guys... And as a fellow insomniac, I know you know how important that is.

But now, during this season of your life... the only way through it is through it!

PS-- One last thing (because I type like I talk-- too MUCH!) One thing you might consider is having one night a week where you are "off" except for nursing. (Like on a weekend night.) Ryan is in charge of waking with Aiden-- bringing him to you if wakes up, so you can nurse him right there in bed, bringing him back to bed, being "in charge" if he stays up a long time... It might be a good way to compromise and let him sleep during the week-- and something to look forward to!

Daisy and Ryan said...

the last thing might be a good idea. he does wake up with him in the mornings on weekends - well, *i* wake him up. haha! but the night thing might be a good idea, as long as aiden doesn't get woken too much by the moving around. but we might have to try it out! :)

i've actually thought about bringing him to bed with us some to see if that helps (well - helps ME). not sure if i want to mess with it, though, b/c he's such a good baby about GOING to sleep!! he goes to sleep all on his own, no fussing at all. :) it's just the staying asleep.

i keep reminding myself that it will pass. up until the past couple weeks, it hasn't bothered me at all, actually. i'm used to getting little sleep and like the time with him. but i guess it's been wearing on me a little more the past week especially. i try to cherish it, actually - b/c i know it will be over soon. it seems like it won't and like this will last forever, but i know one day it will seem like a blip in our lives. i don't mind at all getting up to nurse him, but it would be nice to do it a little less. ;)

and part of our problem is getting to bed earlier. we're working on turning everything off at 10 and getting into bed then. we're getting better about it, and the past couple nights we've been very successful - and aiden has also been successful about waking up just in time to keep me from going to bed!

so, yes, it's been rough lately, and i would like more sleep. but i am trying to keep in mind that this, too, shall pass.

we're going to have to try your suggestion, though. i like that! :)